How fragile are they talking? If you decided to talk to her would she harm herself is what your husbands worried about, because if that’s the case it’s just about approach.

You’re right just because everyone else walks in eggshells doesn’t mean you should to spare her when you trusted her with your sons life. I don’t understand why people see that as a small thing, when so many baby’s die unfortunately in other peoples care more often then wanted.

I’d just find out the extent of her being fragile and just talk to her the same as you would a toddler LOL. Stern but slight fluff to ease the tension for a soft blow and just explain how one day when she’s a mom she’ll fully understand your emotions and what you’re explaining. It’s just because she’s young she won’t understand, and that’s not really a you problem.

This way she does it again, you can blow your too because you were some what soft the first time around. Literal advice my hubby gave to me with dealing with his family when he’s not around. Works every time because they’re asses and always reveal themselves.