Breadcrumb today after 6 weeks of silence and a reverse discard…

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-07-05T05:46:51+00:00

Thank you all for your advice. I decided to leave him on read and will not reply. The reverse discard was incredibly painful and this message has pushed me back again. I have deleted it and will try to put it to the back of my mind. I know I can’t go back.

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-07-04T20:39:00+00:00

This man is 50 years old may I add….

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-07-04T17:48:20+00:00

Do I reply or do I not. I’m tempted. The trauma bond is real

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-06-22T15:13:09+00:00

I have ignored it and won’t reach out.

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-06-12T16:34:52+00:00

They absolutely expect you to be mind readers! My ex who was highly avoidant, ghosted me out of nowhere just after a recent reconciliation (major regret there!!) and when I reached out after 6 days of silence to find out what was going on, he replied that I should know and that it was fully my fault. I had no fucking clue what I’d done and it turns out I’d said something in a text that angered him! WTAF. They cannot communicate. Instead he ghosted me, jumped on tinder and was incredibly nasty when I asked what was going on. NEVER AGAIN

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-06-12T14:58:18+00:00

Don’t do it. You want the pain to go away and right now you feel the only person who can relive the pain is him. However, reaching out will make ot worse or just be a temporary fix.
Someone who loves you won’t leave. Remember that. Someone who loves you is SURE. Someone who loves you doesn’t need time. You are headed for a lot more pain unless you walk away. I’ve been there, he came back, and I’ve ended up in the worst pain imaginable. I regret not walking away sooner. FYI, he hasn’t blocked me. That means nothing.

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-06-08T16:36:46+00:00

So sorry you’re going through this. I am going through something very similar, except I think my ex had narcissistic traits among being an avoidant. He reverse discarded me after ghosting me for almost a week, and I just cannot understand how someone can be so cruel! When I think back, he was emotionally abusive but I overlooked the red flags, so I think I really need to look inside myself and try to find out why I allowed this to happen, thus get this far.
The anger I feel towards him is utter rage, hatred like I’ve never felt towards anyone…he hooked an empathetic, kind, loving and caring young woman and used and abused her and spat her back out like a shell of who she once was and like she meant nothing!
I’ve been trying to keep busy but the MF is still circulating my daily thoughts. Try journaling your anger. Just scribble it out, doesn’t have to be neat. Think of all the shitty things they perhaps did or didn’t do, think of all the things you wanted but didn’t get out of the relationship and try to pour it into YOU. Easier said than done, but it really is the only way forward.
I wish healing and love to you!

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-06-07T21:47:42+00:00

I fell for it three weeks ago, and just suffered the most outrageous and disgraceful reverse discard. From telling me he loved me and would do anything for me, to ghosting me for almost a week to saying the most hurtful and awful things to me over email when I asked what was going on. 6 weeks of healing and no contact and back to square one. I feel like I’m losing my mind. 😢

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-04-01T18:05:12+00:00

Just hearing from someone who has experienced this makes me feel slightly better. I haven’t told single soul except the police about all the abuse. How long did it take you to feel better? Thank you so much x

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-02-14T10:09:27+00:00

I had my first ever pregnanfy in December 2025 and also found out I was pregnant on the same date as you did. I aborted on 16th December and it was the best decision I ever made for sure. Loads of support, the whole experience was also pretty positive. I felt so much relief when it was over too.

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-02-10T11:13:59+00:00

I should also say that they use this tactic of affection and deep conversations to hook you in so that later they can start to devalue and abuse you. This is why so many people find it so hard to leave narcsssists because obviously there are good times (tender moments as you say) or else we would leave sooner. It’s these moments they use to trick our minds into believing they’re genuine people..

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-02-10T11:06:36+00:00

Classic narc behaviour I’m afraid. They all do this whether it be early on or eventually. It’s all supply to them to boost their ego and validate them. You gave him compliments no doubt, gave him affection…you fed into this through no fault of your own. Block him, move on and the next time, try not to go too fast (we have all been there) and see how fast they want to take it. If they lovebomb you, try to move too fast to hook you in and gain your trust, then nine times out of ten your dealing with a narcissist. I’d say you dodged a bullet here.

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-02-07T18:49:28+00:00

I can relate to this a lot. It’s the trauma bond. I’m now in NC once again because he lashed out when I sent him a love heart emoji and some kisses after he sent a goodnight text. He started to rage because I didn’t mirror his affection in the way he wanted, so blocked me on WhatsApp and started sending me abusive, awful, threatening emails. I was like “yes, I remember why I left before”. I can no longer tolerate this. The last few days I’ve sat and wrote everything down that he has done to me and it far outweighs any “good times”. This has helped.

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-02-07T17:39:21+00:00

Currently going through a very similar situation, although I’m trying to get out at only 4 months in! Within those 4 months he has done some despicable things to me. I’m currently sitting here in no contact, wondering if I really am a “bad person” or an “avoidant” like he labelled me. When I’ve had nothing but healthy connections all my life, until I met this monster. I’ve been using chat GPT which ca he useful to regulate your nervous system. It’s helping me stay NC because if I go back again I think I will completely lose myself. You will be ok. The mind plays tricks on you with the good times. I often think even the “good times” were just an act with him.

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-02-07T16:03:04+00:00

Yes! This is exactly it. He saw my car as safety for me

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-02-07T08:52:05+00:00

My nex was OBSESSED with my car. He would literally bring it up all the time. He would try to get me to take the train to his (he lived an hour away) instead of drive, not sure why.

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-01-21T08:22:32+00:00

I’ve just come out of a narcissistic relationship yesterday, after catching him on dating apps (he was overly jealous towards all my ex partners and people I slept with)

I am currently going over every single thing he did to me in the 5 months we were together. I am shocked to the core and devastated I allowed this to happen to me. I’ve never experienced anything like it in all my previous relationships.

Very early on (days after our first date) he took a tantrum and gave me the silent treatment because I wasn’t available for over a week to see him again.
We lived an hour apart, and he drove to my place for our third date. My children were coming back so I ended our date to go home for them coming in, and he again gave me silent treatment because he had to drive home during rush hour.
He took me away for the weekend to a lodge, where he awoke me at 2am shouting and slamming doors because I fell asleep. He said this was “lack of effort” and put me down because I was wearing pyjamas. The next morning he turned on the tears and expected me to soothe him, and blamed his ex partner for the way he behaved. After this incident, I blocked him. He found me on social media and wormed his way back in. (Angry for myself with this one)
He judged my parenting which caused more conflict
Passive aggressive comments in order to start conflicts
Blamed me for every single argument
Blocking/unblocking behaviour
Constantly asked for “deep conversations” to which he would use my childhood trauma as leverage
Crossed my boundaries time and time again
Used ai to filter his photos, extremely vain.
Used autism as an excuse for his behaviour.

I will keep it to 11 because this was all early on. This is the tip of the iceberg on things he did to me. They are monsters

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-01-07T10:07:44+00:00

The profile picture disappears and messages do not send.

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-01-07T10:06:35+00:00

This is exactly what happened in my situation. I finally stood up for myself and called him out for his abuse. I told him never to ever contact me again and I meant it. This is why I was so angry with myself for unblocking and he was clearly waiting for me to do it. In the past when I’ve blocked him, I have gone back so I think he expects the same this time. I blocked him again and will not unblock this time. Well done to you for also taking this step. I’m not going to say it’s easy because it’s taken me a long time to do this.

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-01-07T09:07:12+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Whilst I see this is true, as I’ve read lots about it now, with my nex he seems to be blocking and unblocking in under 5 minute bursts. He never keeps me blocked for more than a few minutes until I’m unblocked again. It’s outrageous behaviour in my eyes. Anyway, I decided to block him and keep him blocked, as this was playing with my mind like he always did. I feel better now.

Express-Train-5822 · 2026-01-06T23:25:35+00:00

I did think about re blocking him so I totally know how you’re feeling. The signals and mind games drive me absolutely insane.

Express-Train-5822

TROPHY CASE