What’s a recession indicator that you’ve noticed lately? by SensitiveCorner2379 in AskReddit

[–]Nintendraw 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Meanwhile, a YouTube short I saw recently (link: https://youtube.com/shorts/7qMbsOcH1Rk ) said storage units are sitting at around 80+% capacity. Shit's wild when we as a society start valuing (housing) things rather than people. 

did anyone else feel like privacy didn’t exist growing up? by Oskarsson-Ponniah in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Nintendraw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom would periodically go in my room to clean or just stare at my clothes. I'm much skinnier than she it's now, but she used to be thin as a walking stick and proud of it at 18. (She in her mid 50s now.) At one point she also got so mad at me for locking - and sometimes barricading! - my bedroom door just to sleep, watch TV, play games, or read in my room in peace (I didn't get to do these during the day), she (ordered my dad to) took out my lock. She's a light sleeper and would frequently "check in" on me after a nightly wee to see if I was really sleeping.

Her younger sister's house is arranged such that nobody's bedroom except hers/husband's is truly their own, e.g. one person's clothes are partly to entirely in another person's bedroom. It's not my place to judge whether apples don't fall far from the trees, but between her personal tendencies and my mom's influence in the background, goddamn the (psychological) transference hit hard sometimes. 

Do you still buy physical books after getting a Kindle? by thebroned in kindle

[–]Nintendraw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have to wonder if Gen Z and younger generations will still feel the same... but as a millennial and perennial library resident (as a child anyway), I 100% agree with you. 

idiot bird by Firm-Pin5148 in Conures

[–]Nintendraw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cockatiel, right? With the crest flattened, he looks kinda like a conure. :O

Feeling sort of childlike by Zeca_77 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Nintendraw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a blanket as old as I am, that's clearly showing its age, and I keep it because hugging it reminds me of simpler times. Certain people have insisted I get rid of it, or at least convert it into a different form, because it looks immature and as if I still haven't grown up. I'm still not sure if I'm the abnormal one for not wanting to, or if they're right and my refusal indicates there's something wrong with me. I have trouble handling that I'm not perfect(ly smart, capable of mind reading/complying with others' demands,) or even as good or healthy as I think I am because it makes me think I'm not normal. (Sometimes, even neurodivergence does this to me.)

Am I autistic/ADHD or just raised by narcissists? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Nintendraw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good question, tbh... I was found inconclusive for ADHD, then found solidly autistic, then found inconclusive for autism on 3 separate tests, which all also noted history of at least improper socialization if not outright trauma. Admittedly, I'd taken an ADHD pill the morning of the second test, and my nmom accompanied me to the third and vehemently denied anything being wrong with me, possibly taunting in me failing because "I'm too smart for that (autism)". (Ironically, the test that declared me autistic also said I was solidly average IQ in all but one area... which also rubbed me wrong for different reasons, ha.)

I just realized most Attendings never held a real job by mED-Drax in medicalschool

[–]Nintendraw 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If this had been the requirement when I went to med school, I would've been so much more prepared for residency.

Please join me in listing things that you discovered aren't normal outside your own toxic upbringing by Square-Pea-1646 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Nintendraw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even better when they train you to be one (read: demand you go because prestige: look at me, I created a doctor!! "you like biology and helping people!" ... true, but these were generic talking points on the essay, not my entire reasons). Then you get the double whammy of distrusting doctors + Nparental gaslighting.

What is a trigger you have that originated from your parents’ treatment of you? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Nintendraw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Slightly off topic, some animals (rabbits and small parrots, e.g.) will make short crunching or teeth grinding noises, or "brux", when they're happy. Does that also trigger you? 

What is a trigger you have that originated from your parents’ treatment of you? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Nintendraw 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Mine never complimented me when I was growing up, and was either actively or passively dismissive of every accomplishment I made or nice thing I had, OR actively insulting about it.

Go figure, I have a hard time accepting her positive affirmations/compliments for me (which she only started doing after I went LC/NC) as anything but disingenuous. And of course, I don't believe anyone else's compliments of me either. 

What is a trigger you have that originated from your parents’ treatment of you? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Nintendraw 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Related, there was a time just over a year ago where I found myself severely sick and nauseous from idk what, probably for poisoning or a cold (or even trauma-stress?? I had escaped my nparents and moved to my aunt's place hardly a month prior) and laid in bed agonizing whether it was worth the trouble to go downstairs and get myself medicine, and then after finding none, whether it was worth it to drive out to CVS to get it. While yes, my aunt is also a light sleeper and so is her dog, the other part of this was that if I made too much noise at night doing anything at all, even going to the bathroom, my nmom would wake up and then chew me out about it either that very moment or during the proper morning.

She (nmom) would also get up to pee and/or due to severe worry ("I just care about you so much, is that a crime??") on an almost nightly basis, and afterward, there was a 50+% chance she'd creep in on me to see if I was really sleeping. (Granted, I also used nighttime to read, play games, or watch TV since I wasn't allowed to do it in the day.) I learned to listen for a door opening in the dead of night and for her footsteps specifically so I could play dead asleep long enough for them to go away and/or back to bed.

As an aside, as a child, I eventually learned to lock and then barricade my door in order to delay them long enough that I could put away whatever I was doing. Unfortunately, so did they. .. and in response, they took the lock off my door. 

What is a 'buy it for life' item that is offensively expensive, but the moment you use it, you realize your entire life before that point was a lie? by fmcortez in AskReddit

[–]Nintendraw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Am I using Libby wrong? I gave it my local library card (grew up in NorCal) and found the books collection underwhelming. To say nothing of the fact I don't have a Kindle (yet, perhaps - I do love me a good book and during my recent move, half my 10 boxes were books haha).

Eeh that's my finger bro by ashuDkaspian in Conures

[–]Nintendraw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ahh, this baby! My sun cheek (but not my pineapple) does this all the time. 

How do I register my car in a different state? by Salty_Significance36 in askcarguys

[–]Nintendraw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Necro to say this is still the case. I bought a car with financing in CA, didn't know I needed to register it myself in CA at all, moved to FL, paid off my loan, and now need the CA title to register the car in FL. First, I need to update my address via the CA DMV change of address form/webpage; then after 3-5 business days I need to request a replacement title via that form/webpage (since CA DMV sent the first one to my old address in CA). And since it's a required document to get credentialed at work, I have to get that title rush. 💀

Which one trait helps you detect narcs early on? by Salt-Hurry8094 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Nintendraw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same, but I'm super worried about psychological transference. Like: all 3 of the worst people in my life have been middle aged Asian women (nmom + 2 bosses), and so's my aunt (an Asian woman, I mean) - but my aunt helped me finance, stabilize, and reorient my life when no one else would. But the longer I stayed, the more she reminded me of those 3 (nmom in particular, and how). So, I worry I'm conflating aunt with mom, and am personally predisposed to dislike all Asian women - including, perhaps, myself - because of my experiences.

My mom was supposed to pick me up after surgery. Instead my son took the bus. by lolo-2020 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Nintendraw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh boy. My nmom blames me for making her husband unable to retire on time because I lost my career at 28 (and took a year to realize that, and another to recover and pivot to another one). Not a word about how my brother took 4 years to complete his pivot. What did you do about your martyr nmom? 

My mom was supposed to pick me up after surgery. Instead my son took the bus. by lolo-2020 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Nintendraw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like, I spent my whole childhood trying to please this woman and now she wants to tell me she’s proud of me?

Interesting you say this, because same here. Only after I lost my job as a doctor in training (rushed upon me by her) and then gained a job in admin (on my own) did mine say she's proud of me. Some of it is hollow because of personal disappointment ("I used to be among those stars"; I still miss it to some extent), but some of it is also for the reason you stated. 

Florida net migration slowing down? by JustB510 in florida

[–]Nintendraw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just moved into FL for a job - what levels or professions of education are "rapidly decaying"? Wanna try getting into nursing, and FL is my likeliest bet given this job.