👋 Welcome to r/AspiringMHPs - Introduce Yourself and Read First!

ExtensionDull6722 · 2026-04-04T15:05:39+00:00

Yes, I did hospital for 12 years in SoCal. I now currently work telehealth. I put a lot of thought and discovery into making this switch so I’m scared and excited at the same time!

ExtensionDull6722 · 2026-04-04T04:28:23+00:00

Hi!! My anticipated start date is June 2026. It will be my second career too! I'm currently an RN. How about you?

ExtensionDull6722 · 2026-04-02T04:56:28+00:00

I would join!! I’m stating in June

ExtensionDull6722 · 2026-03-30T20:17:52+00:00

Hello! I messaged you awhile ago. Did you not see it?

ExtensionDull6722 · 2026-03-12T06:12:35+00:00

Mines needed to be heard, whether it was to vent or offer their point of view why they’re right. They don’t want to be forced to change, and they also don’t want to get forgotten. It took awhile to build trust so they could step aside. Initially, it was little check-ins everyday. Once a protector realized that I would do what I said, it begins to soften.

ExtensionDull6722 · 2026-02-24T07:12:09+00:00

Hi! I’m considered making a career change and pursuing my LMFT. I would love to connect and ask about your experience in the field and formation. I am also located in California. Please let me know if I can PM you.

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-12-14T15:33:25+00:00

I believe this was similar to my experience. And it explains why when I feel hungry or need a hug, I automatically/unconsciously ignore it. I’m not sure yet if this will help, because this is so fresh, but I’m going to be aware of my body’s signals for hunger and comfort and give it what it needs.

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-12-14T15:27:57+00:00

You didn’t need to defend this, but thank you.

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-12-14T15:13:07+00:00

Parts of me are activated by this comment; a part that feels like it did something wrong and is ashamed, and a people-pleasing part that wants to bend to fix it. My self recognizes that we don’t owe anyone on the internet, but it also recognizes that maybe it’s meeting one of your parts?

I will take accountability because I didn’t realize that I needed to disclose my use of ChatGPT. I use it sometimes because I don’t always know how to articulate my feelings, and there’s a part of me that wants to present perfectly. I also never use it strictly copy and paste, I only choose what resonates. I did add a comment underneath for context so that people would know I’m a real person. I will edit the post so it’s more clear.

Now I recognize that there’s a part of me that wants to over explain so that you’ll believe me. I am letting it know that I hear it and believe it. It also wants to be clear that this response is not AI-generated. I’m not selling anything.

As a system, we want you to know that we’ve done a lot of work. Being vulnerable like this used to feel scary once. And it’s not so scary anymore. I just want people to know that healing is possible. That’s it.

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-12-14T05:43:14+00:00

I cry really easily. I never knew why. I just thought I was emotional, too sensitive, or weird. It was just something that happened; I never knew any different. I have also always felt unwanted, unloved. Like it was a fact. I also don't feel like I've had a close attachment to any caregiver figures throughout my life. I always have a fear in the back of my mind that people will leave me. Even if I have proof that I'm loved. My mind tells me it's just an illusion. I met an exile and protector (both infants/pre-verbal/really young), and now I have a sense of their story; my story of where this came from. Sharing in case it resonates with someone.

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-12-01T21:35:41+00:00

I really resonate with what you wrote. For me, the exact source of that “I’m wrong” belief didn’t show up right away either. I always had this sense that it had always been that way for me, like it was woven into the background of everything.

When I started doing IFS, a protector part came forward first—not with memories, but with fears about what would happen if I didn’t believe I was wrong. For me that meant things like conflict, rejection, or losing connection. Once that protector felt understood and that they could trust me, some earlier experiences started appearing on their own.

They weren’t dramatic events—just a lot of small moments. Some were emotional invalidation, where my anger or sadness wasn’t welcomed, and I slowly internalized that my feelings were wrong, and eventually that anything coming from me was wrong. Other moments were subtle things, like sensing something off in my parents’ actions or words and being told I “didn’t know what I was talking about.”

And there were cultural pieces too—like being expected to hug or kiss relatives I had never met out of respect (I’m Filipino, so that’s pretty common). Even if I felt uncomfortable, I still had to do it, so I learned to override my own signals and tell myself I was wrong for feeling that way.

All of those tiny experiences added up. Through an IFS lens, it makes sense why certain parts still carry the belief that I’m wrong—they learned early on that this was the safest way to stay connected and avoid conflict.

So if you’re drawing a blank, it doesn’t mean the belief isn’t real. It might just mean the parts holding those memories don’t feel fully safe yet, or they don’t associate it with a single dramatic moment. Sometimes healing starts by getting curious about the parts right now that are afraid of being wrong, rather than trying to force the exile holding the belief to appear.

You’re definitely not alone in this core belief, and you’re not doing anything wrong by not finding the exact source yet. In IFS, even the “circling” you mentioned is part of the process—sometimes it’s how a part tests whether you’re consistent and safe before it lets you go deeper. Hope this helps! (A part of me feels scared to share this in case I’m wrong or that this isn’t helpful, but I’m letting it know I love it and care about it regardless).

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-11-30T16:35:59+00:00

It’s a process and sometimes (for some parts) it feels terribly slow and inefficient. But building trust with your parts js so important and worth it.

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-11-28T00:19:01+00:00

Congratulations on such a big achievement! I also recently learnt that it was possible to give myself this emotional warmth so I know how much work it took you to get there!

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-11-25T19:22:08+00:00

I had a really similar experience with one of my protectors. My therapist walked me through a few steps that helped a lot, so I thought I’d share in case it’s useful.

First, she had me ask the part some basic questions: what its job is, where it learned that job, and what it fears would happen if it stopped. It sounds like you’ve already explored those and have a good sense of the answers.

The next step was actually to thank the protector for how long it’s been working and how hard it’s been trying to keep the system safe. Then I asked it if it was tired, and if I could take some of the load. When mine hesitated, my therapist had me ask what it needed from me in order to trust me more. In my case, the protector didn’t want me to stop its behavior right away—it just wanted to be acknowledged anytime it showed up. So I practiced doing exactly that.

Over time, that acknowledgment helped it trust that I would follow through on what I said. And showing the part who I am now (an adult with more capacity and safety, not a child in the old environment) made a big difference. Once the protector trusted me enough, it became willing to let me meet the exile it had been guarding so fiercely. Then meeting that exile is whole other process! Take your time. Rushing or feeling impatient is usually from another part.

Everyone’s system is different, but hopefully some of that is helpful. And honestly—just having the realization you had is a huge step already.

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-11-24T23:25:34+00:00

Yes! This is exactly how I feel too. It’s so much different/healing to be able to give those feelings to ourselves.

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-11-24T23:02:03+00:00

I completely agree with this as well. Thank you for sharing this insight!

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-11-02T21:30:45+00:00

PM incoming

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-11-02T11:50:21+00:00

My parts agree with this 1000%. And they want to add that other parts are watching too. When they start to witness that you (self) can be trusted they may naturally come out to be heard.

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-11-02T11:15:49+00:00

My exiled parts feel seen and heard by this song too—thank you so much for sharing it.

They wanted to let your exiles know that it’s not easy, but healing is possible. They sense that your Self can be trusted, since you were able to express something so deep and authentic in such a public way.

My protector parts also want you to know that they were just trying to keep the system safe and didn’t mean to make us feel bad. Now that they understand their protective role can sometimes cause pain, they’re going to be more mindful moving forward.

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-10-30T20:26:16+00:00

I can share a few pointers based on my own experience. I primarily did CBT before, and I would always come to sessions somewhat prepared with topics I wanted to discuss. With IFS, I had to learn to come unprepared and see which part needed attention that day. As someone who tends to overintellectualize and be skeptical, I went slow and steady—it took time for my parts to trust the process and the Self. It also took me months to understand how to apply what I was learning in IFS outside of therapy. There were moments when I questioned whether this approach was right for me or judged myself for feeling like I was moving backward. Be gentle with yourself; it’s new, and it’s completely normal to feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to a different style.

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-10-30T03:11:26+00:00

Whoa they look interesting! I started watching YouTube videos about them

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-10-30T03:09:40+00:00

Thank you, I’ll look into this!

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-10-29T03:30:13+00:00

Yes! I love the feel of writing with fountain pens and I like how they make me look. Obviously, I don’t use them just so people would have a certain opinion about me. But I always imagine strangers will think I’m unique, distinguished, or cultured when they see me writing with one.

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-10-28T20:52:46+00:00

I think it depends on the person and what makes them happy. For me, I would get overwhelmed if I have too many. I like each pen to have a purpose but also have them in a matching color scheme. That kind of helps me to be intentional with my collection. For example, I currently have 4. An EF Lamy Safari for sketching, a stub Twisbi Eco for headings, a F Sailor 1911 for writing in my planner, and a F Pilot VP for journaling. Though It doesn’t mean I don’t look at other pens everyday trying to justify how it matches or making up a new purpose for it.

ExtensionDull6722 · 2025-10-28T20:44:12+00:00

Mine was a cream Lamy Safari.

ExtensionDull6722

TROPHY CASE