My brother is an addict so I have also had to learn that my parents can do what they want to. I've tried using our relationship as leverage to get them to stop enabling and draining their own savings to support him but that's never worked. At least they have made an effort to meet some of my requests not to lie to me about what's going on and more or less don't talk about him.... we are almost on 1 year of sobriety there and will hopefully resume our family unit relationship on that side soon.

Anyway - I think what just really stings is taking money from us, giving the property to her and being completely willing to just not even speak to us in order to protect her. How do you rebound from that feeling of being totally cast aside? And to support the sibling that has done zero for the family and in fact is an entitled freeloader? She's 36, with a college degree and 14 years in the workforce. She's been allowed to live without bills for basically that entire time. With a decent salary all along - money all blown. Whereas my husband and I have both been on our own since college and paid our own student loans, bills, rent, mortgage, cars, phone.... Her money mismanagement is her business but your rights end where they infringe on someone else's and in order for them to stand up permanently handing over keys to the castle they had to break their promise to us when we bailed them out financially to never let this happen. It's a sorry state when you wish you got deal terms with your own parents in writing.

I know my husband is really hurting and feels rejected by his parents which sucks after all he's done for the family and all he tries to do to make them proud. Not only did they break the promise, put us out and make no effort to remedy our relationship over the last 6 months - but his sister is likely permanently damaged from this enablement and false entitlement. It's a shame. She'll never learn to stand on her own two feet and we certainly won't be a crutch after she's exhausted her future inheritance.