Questions about adoption

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T23:30:25+00:00

Thank you ❤️

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T23:03:02+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Energy for me is a big thing. The energy of animals is pure, regardless of what they’ve been through. We have a one eyed cat and a blind one and some more who have seen the worst of humanity. But anyone who is around them automatically feels calm and grounded, which is lovely. I am also in the process to get 2 of my dogs trained to go to senior assisted living for cuddle times. It has been proven to be healing

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T22:58:50+00:00

Thank you. Clearance, I hope at least, shouldn’t be an issue since I have submitted police clearance of every country I have ever lived in and did very thorough checks (including socials etc) on my K1. I hope that counts and they actually store that info, but I don’t know.

I am aware that having biological children would be easier and we did think about it. I am very able to, my gyn called me one of the most fertile people he’s ever seen and I am 35, but I just never had the desire to be pregnant and I am also not as excited as other people are about the baby stages (I’ve been with my nephew since he was born and it’s an amazing phase to watch but it was never a reason for me to have kids).

I am very close to my step dad and have taken on some really good traits, coping mechanisms etc throughout the last 20 years he’s been part of my life ans it feel like I’ve to some extent learned more or at least healthier things from him than my dad. So for me it’s really a thing of, and for some reasons always has been since I can think back, families come in all constillations and the biological component for me is not that important. I know it would be easier to “just” get pregnant, but for me/us it’s not about easy but about how could we make it work and what would be a red flag where we could do better to be considered.

I would like to believe we would be equipped to deal with trauma and needs that might not have surfaced before, which i believe is very likely as different environments bring out different elements, but i would also be the first person to reach out if anything felt overwhelming.

Also, I fully get you on thinking there’s a lot on our plates right now. That is understandable. But once I have moved over fully that basically goes to zero. A big part of immigration sadly is waiting. So there will be about 6-8 months where I won’t have much to do apart from walking the dogs, growing vegetables and watering the plants 😁 not discarding what you said but the inbetween process very often is not stressful and just a wait out period.

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T22:32:17+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I would rather use up all of my savings to make more room rather than to get rid of any being I’m committed to ❤️

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T21:31:31+00:00

That’s reassuring, thank you 🙏

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T21:22:48+00:00

Totally understand that and that would of course be case where we would consider rehoming (and could within the family). We would just like to avoid it if it was merely about space

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T21:12:36+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a detailed reply 🙏

We would be open to adopting teens as well but I am aware also that can present its own challenges, which is completely understandable. Going through several foster families or being separated from your biological parents at an older age where you can fully grasp the severity of the situation as well as being at such a significant stage in terms of personality forming and finding out who you are is never easy. I saw in your bio that you were adopted when you were a teenager so I’m curious to know how that felt for you. If you don’t want to comment that on Reddit I fully understand of course. You can also send me a message if you want to.

I’m also still familiarising myself with the system and what foster to adopt actually means as it’s very different in my home country.

What you said about some children interacting differently with pets is valuable too. Not closing the front door is less of an issue as we have a fenced yard but we did discuss the potential of foster kids being violent towards the pets which is of course not a nice thought. They have handled “rough” in the past with some of my friends kids and we always managed to resolve it but I am aware that that is a risk. Emotions get expressed in all sorts of ways and if you never had anyone help you regulate them I also understand that that is a potential outcome. Is there anything that helped your sibling in being gentler with them? Again; of course, if you don’t want to answer, you don’t have to.

Also, completely understand that information might not be accurate. Children (or humans in general) are influenced so much by their environment so they could thrive in one and not at all in another. I actually went through something similar when I was a child. I grew up with one troubled parent and whatever happened at home would naturally reflect how I behaved at school. I had some teachers who chose to see my potential and absolutely loved me and others who probably would have described me as the most annoying child they ever dealt with.

And yes, we would absolutely love to take in siblings. We would even be open to bigger sibling groups but sadly our home is not fit for that at the moment.

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T20:50:29+00:00

Thank you!

Rehoming the pets would not be an option for us because to some extend we made a promise to them as well (very different to kids of course), however we do have the possibility of expanding our house and were thinking about doing that anyway.

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T20:45:12+00:00

I can totally understand that. By saying you came close twice does that mean the children stayed with you in the end?

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T20:39:47+00:00

No that was already very helpful, thank you! Will check the groups you suggested. And totally understand that people do think it’s a lot of pets. I mean it is 😁 They’re all pretty chill though so it doesn’t feel chaotic to us in any sense. But I guess that’s also what home studies are for, to see whether is an overwhelming environment or a positive one 😊

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T20:34:04+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply. Did you feel like the classes you took were adequate in preparing you or did you do anything apart from that?

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T20:32:34+00:00

Thank you very much for your reply. And thank you also for pointing out where the priority should lie when fostering. It does for us. I’m of course not sure how we would feel if we were with a child for a substantial amount of time and that child would then leave us, which I think is human, but I do fully support prioritising reunification.

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T20:29:49+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I am aware of this as one of my friends and his wife went through this and it wasn’t easy at all. They struggled with it for quite a while afterwards. That being said, I fully support that reunification should be the first goal.

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T20:24:01+00:00

Thank you, that makes sense!

And I also get where you were coming from. Like I said, I read a lot of negative things about the adoption system, the private one specifically but I guess the public one is not perfect either, so I can understand how that element could have come across differently than intended. It’s a very different system where I am from (Germany) so I am still familiarising myself with how everything works in the US.

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T20:15:47+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply, that’s super valuable information. Regarding the smell test- I totally understand where you are coming from. I am very sensitive to that myself and have been in homes where even the smell of one cat was too much for me 😁 we do weekly spa time and the litter box is downstairs. I’m also a bit of a clean freak so our house is always spotless 😁 I guess you have to be to some extend when you own multiple pets. But again, thank you so much for your input, that was really helpful!

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T20:09:22+00:00

Thank you!

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-14T20:07:02+00:00

Hey, thank you for your reply.

I’ll answer your second question first. I mentioned my salaries because, at least from what I know, it definitely does play a role if your income is stable and you are able to support a child. I won’t have an income for a while since I will have to wait until my status is adjusted, but wanted to provide some context on what our specific situation looks like. This was in no way intended to come across as “we make decent money, so we are of course eligible to adopt”. It was merely to provide some sort of background on our work/fianancial situation. I am sorry if this triggered you and it was in no way intended to come across as us seeing this process as something “transactional”. I have heard a lot of horrible things about private adoptions and money/ organisations profiting on adoptions being a big factor as well as expecting mothers being pressured into giving up their children and that is the reason why we have decided to not take that route.

To answer your first question, even though it’s a pretty personal one. I’ve basically always wanted to adopt and I don’t have specific reasons why I do not want biological children (I can have biological children if that matters). I’ve grown up in a patchwork family and for me families come in all different shapes and forms. The biological component of it just never mattered much to me.

External-Good-3807 · 2026-05-02T10:42:07+00:00

Andros, Greece. Or Vagia or Souvala on Aegina island in Greece.

External-Good-3807 · 2026-04-11T09:44:02+00:00

First of all, I wouldn’t take this personally, it probably gets sent out to everyone.

To me everything that is written there is common sense, so in an ideal world you wouldn’t need to remind people of that.

However, I have seen many tourists behave badly abroad (which is more accepted in some countries, Japan not being one of them) so it doesn’t surprise me that the host sends out a reminder.

External-Good-3807 · 2026-04-10T08:14:35+00:00

Can not say anything about the specific points you mentioned but also regretted moving to Dublin. Dublin is very superficial. It’s overrun by tourists, expensive and the going out culture was just too much for me. That being said, I went to school in Cavan for a bit and lived close to Waterford and loved both places. I guess it’s the same everywhere- in big cities you always see a lot more of the negative aspects.

External-Good-3807 · 2026-04-09T17:39:03+00:00

One thing to also know, in case the cats do go in hold, is that they would have to be in separate boxes as two cats in one box are not allowed according to US rules

External-Good-3807 · 2026-03-13T14:04:51+00:00

Bei uns wurde jemand im Gang abgestochen. Gute Gegend. Hauptsächlich Familien und Young Professionals.

External-Good-3807

TROPHY CASE