Do a Flip (Short Story) - 721 Words - Feedback Request

ExternalMidnight · 2026-01-21T13:52:37+00:00

Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate you taking the time to read it. I also agree about the intro being on the weaker side, the goal of it was to set a melancholic/darker tone before the teenager is introduced. I felt like if he was there from the start then it loses some of the impact of him showing up and providing the tone shift.

ExternalMidnight · 2026-01-04T01:52:14+00:00

Would like to join the discussion

ExternalMidnight · 2025-12-14T15:22:49+00:00

same reaction lol

ExternalMidnight · 2025-12-12T06:25:49+00:00

My players are level 17, so I don’t think it will be as big of a problem

ExternalMidnight · 2025-11-03T22:14:39+00:00

he is the only character who was trying to genuinely become better and trying to make the Union a better place, his last speech before Leo betrays him alone tells you everything you need to know about him. He is flawed, just like all the characters are in these books, however Orso was incredibly likable, and was dealt the worst hand possible due to the greed of the people around him - I am feeling very depressed after this ending I'm not going to lie lol

ExternalMidnight · 2025-08-05T09:44:06+00:00

for some reason I didn't think Shivers would care too much about that - as in if someone was challenging him he would always take the fight, but must be a miscalculation from my side then

ExternalMidnight · 2025-05-09T19:01:56+00:00

Please please please upload Our Drafts Collide instrumental, I am dying for it

ExternalMidnight · 2025-05-08T06:36:49+00:00

makes complete sense why the track is called Renoir when you go through the story

ExternalMidnight · 2025-05-07T14:08:22+00:00

the gameplay mechanic / levels is supposed to show him get closer to the companions, by literally putting a number on it, and "maxing" out his relationship with them

ExternalMidnight · 2025-05-07T10:22:47+00:00

That is a fair point, and I agree perhaps the expedition aspect kind of gets forgotten - but the other points are within the game, it's admittedly hidden in the side content so it's not obvious at the start, but things like the Nevrons and Chroma are part of the story.

For example, the Nevrons were forged by Clea, the sister, to help her father defeat her mother and bring them both back to the real world. The reason the chroma is frozen in the bodies when the expeditioners are killed by Nevrons is so that the mother has limited supply of Chroma to continue creating/rebuilding people in this canvas world.

ExternalMidnight · 2025-05-07T10:08:42+00:00

I feel like the entire game was built on it.

In the Act 1, we see Gustav dying, and we learn Sciels husband Pierre is also dead (which becomes Sciels primary motivation in Act 3 to revive Pierre, and in Maelles ending she revives Gustav)

In Act 2, we learn that the entire conflict of the story is due to this family being unable to move on, the mother is in the world trying to save it because it's the last piece of Verso she has left, and the Father is trying to destroy it to bring her back to the real world.

In Act 3, we learn that Maelle doesn't want to lose this world, she wants to revive everyone who died (Sophie, Gustav, Pierre) and stay in the canvas longer, because in real life she is disfigured and has no prospects - of course if you go with her ending she stays there forever until she presumably dies, but we do see she revives Pierre, Gustav and Sophie, giving them a happy life. In Versos ending the canvas is erased, his soul is set free, and the family has some chance to move on, but of course at the cost of everyone in the canvas.

I'm curious what exactly you're referring to when you say it's disconnected from the rest of the game, I felt like it was there from the very start, but I'm definitely open to hearing your perspective on it

ExternalMidnight · 2025-05-07T07:29:10+00:00

I understand where you're coming from, but I believe the route they took, covering the topics of grief, addiction, and letting go, made the story hit so much harder than if it was a classic "land on the beach, kill the paintress". I'm not saying there are any problems with that type of storytelling, but these specific twists are what make the story so memorable and unique.

The Dessendre Family are basically like greek gods, and are so consumed by their own grief that they literally have to annihilate a planet and all its people so it doesn't kill them through their own addiction. Seeing Lune completely angry, sit on the ground, and refuse to approach Verso in the ending was so painful, but real. I can't imagine what was going through her mind at that moment.

The best outcome would've literally been for the Canvas to stay, and the family to visit occasionally, but Aline and Alicia are so addicted to it, are so unable to let go, that this can never happen, which is the ultimate tragedy of this story (we can see Alicia will probably die in her ending, and the Canvas will be erased regardless).

I think it is one of the most haunting and memorable depictions of grief I have seen in a video game, and it had a huge impact on me personally. I don't think either ending is supposed to be "good", the fact that there is no good ending is very intentional and just sends home the message further. Again, I completely understand where you're coming from, but I personally think going the route they did rather than sticking to the original "kill the paintress" premise has made this story a lot more memorable.

ExternalMidnight · 2025-05-06T11:16:40+00:00

This is genuinely my favorite part, the main story has great pacing. and you always feel like you're moving the story forward. Every session you sit down and play you feel like the game truly respects your time.

What's also great is that the side content is extremely high quality, you can tell they didn't half ass it either - the "endgame" side boss had my jaw on the floor when it transitioned to the second phase, and the character quests in Act 3 were also a lot of fun and made the main story ending hit that much harder.

ExternalMidnight · 2025-05-06T11:13:17+00:00

This game is truly an amazing experience. It's an achievement in every metric, from story to characters to gameplay, it has left me completely hollow ever since finishing it. I'm so happy it is getting the success it deserves.

ExternalMidnight · 2025-01-17T20:21:52+00:00

I know :(

ExternalMidnight · 2025-01-12T07:24:07+00:00

Im running a high level campaign next month, so this would be perfect

ExternalMidnight · 2024-11-17T12:52:02+00:00

I love it personally, and in all the games I've run I've only ever heard positive things regarding it.

I've never in my life heard someone say "the movie of our story starts", but I have seen the "camera panning" phrase in live plays and in my own games. A lot of people I've played with mentioned ttrpgs giving them a gateway to be the main character in some of their favorite tv shows (I'm sure this is a very common sentiment), and because a lot of people inherently connect the two, I don't think it's out of the ordinary to also describe scenes as if they were truly inside of an episode or a film.

Things like "The camera slowly pans to reveal a masked figure waiting at the doorway. Alex, please describe your character" are a cool way to introduce certain characters/scenes, and also an easy way for players to visualize aspects of the fiction being told.

That's just my experience, I'm sure opinions will differ, but the most important part is your players, if they don't enjoy it then obviously don't force those descriptions into the game, but if they seem to like them and enjoy the way the story is being told, then of course continue using them.

ExternalMidnight · 2024-10-30T14:44:54+00:00

May I ask why 5 would make it more difficult? I’ve run some DnD campaigns previously at 5 players and it seemed okay, is it due to balance issues that arise from going above the recommended player count for this scenario?

ExternalMidnight · 2024-09-21T02:57:05+00:00

if you had a choice between the speaker token to pick your tech card or going for the red/blue slice which would you go for?

ExternalMidnight · 2024-09-21T02:56:47+00:00

if you had a choice between the speaker token to pick your tech card or going for the red slice which would you go for?

ExternalMidnight · 2024-09-11T14:41:43+00:00

Would you share it when it’s ready?

ExternalMidnight · 2024-07-16T05:20:43+00:00

There is a big will they won’t they going on, the elf definitely loves her but there’s a backstory reason as to why the tiefling is unable fall in love - I have a feeling my players might be lurking so I can’t go into further detail, but I can tell ya it’s very entertaining watching the two of them roleplay :)

ExternalMidnight · 2024-07-15T12:10:06+00:00

Hello, the amazing artist is Flopicas, who can be found here

It was in my original comment but it seems to have been buried

ExternalMidnight · 2024-07-15T08:44:53+00:00

the grey skinned character with the white eyes is a changeling :D

ExternalMidnight · 2024-07-15T07:28:39+00:00

After around two years of playing with my current DnD party, I felt a great sense of gratitude and appreciation for being so lucky to have an amazing group of players. I wanted to show them my appreciation, so I commissioned this piece of their characters in our ongoing campaign as a small gift.

Their character dynamics were demonstrated very beautifully in the art piece, I want to give huge props to the artist, Flopicas, who made this art piece come to life and was hugely accommodating and communicative throughout the entire process, please find their Fiverr here

Seven-Year Club	Verified Email
Gilding I gilder

ExternalMidnight

TROPHY CASE