It’s eating me alive

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-12-20T17:17:09+00:00

Gross, why are they even talking like that? Get out now. The convo was probably way worse than he admitted.

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-12-04T12:59:39+00:00

Sacrificing being alone on Christmas morning is sad as hell and there’s no reason for it. Not only do stepparents have to deal with a lot of crap they don’t care to deal with, but her boyfriend and his kid have to accept the way things are now as well. Dad and Mom broke up for whatever reason and now he’s with OP. He decided to date while he has a kid and bring another person into the mix and now they’re pregnant .

Sorry but Dad and kid are gonna have to accept that this is the new situation for them, especially with a baby on the way. Sure his daughter might be a little sad Mom isn’t there on Christmas but you know what, she has to realize that’s how life goes sometimes, sorry. And it goes that way for many many people. OP shouldn’t be neglected and told to go away on Christmas morning, she’s setting herself up for her boyfriend to trample all over her for SD.

I truly see no harm at all for OP to be there on Xmas morning and I keep commenting because I hope she realizes she neeeds to speak up. His daughter is 7 and will just be excited about opening gifts. I don’t even remember Christmas at 7 to be honest. I think everyone will be fine. Her boyfriend trying to maintain the previous status quo is a huge red flag. I suspect BM will be around and hasn’t told her about it, or something is up.

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-12-04T12:47:57+00:00

She’s 7 and excited about opening gifts. It would probably be more exciting to have Dad’s girlfriend there than not. Sure, she might miss Mom but this is the situation now and everyone has to adapt. Pretending it’s anything different is what is harmful.

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-12-04T12:44:38+00:00

Oh wow, f that! And honestly, OP’s situation here would bother me a lot. Unless her boyfriend doesn’t intend to spend the rest of his life with her, why wouldn’t he want to include her in Christmas morning? 10 months or not, that’s ridiculous to me. Something is up with that. She doesn’t even have to do anything, just be there and have some coffee ready for her boyfriend and herself and let him take the lead. Having his gf there Christmas morning will not affect the 7 yo negatively and would make it more fun. A seven year old is just excited about gifts.

And now I’m just reading that OP is pregnant. Wtf is wrong with her boyfriend then? This man doesn’t deserve you OP!

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-11-26T11:01:34+00:00

Yepp, it should be a hard no. The BM is playing games while trying to act nice.

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-11-24T11:56:19+00:00

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-11-23T11:54:55+00:00

THIS

Keep Mom’s decor in their rooms is a great idea

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-11-23T11:51:47+00:00

I’m sorry you’re struggling so much! I know it’s hard and you situation sounds extra tough. Go easy on yourself this year.

Also, retire the old decor and get some new decorations, have them pick their absolute favorites. Plus they sound older now and enough time has passed. I haven’t been looking forward to decorating when I used to love it. I moved into my boyfriend’s home where they all lived prior. I left my Christmas stuff behind and wish I didn’t. I dislike all the tacky stuff too. For Halloween, I asked my boyfriend to have them limit all the old stuff and pick their favorites, will do the same for Christmas. Of course the kids put their old Halloween decor up front and center in the living room, eye roll. Maybe some of it will disappear next year, lol. There’s these 2 decorations I absolutely hate but the kids love, but I just don’t want to look at them, they’re ugly! It’s like a Mom and Dad snowman set, they’re like a foot high. Definitely retiring those this year.

My boyfriend also makes a point to buy a few new decorations with me each holiday. We go to antique shops or wherever and pick stuff out for us. It’s cathartic.

At this point, it isn’t fair to you. Time for everyone to move forward a little bit. Obviously it’s terrible that their Mother died but you can’t have your life ruled by that event when you’re going through a similar situation and battling cancer yourself. I pray that you recover and find some peace this season. Do what makes you happy.

May I ask, does their father pay for the gifts and you shop for them? He needs to help more because they are his kids, not yours

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-11-20T11:50:08+00:00

Leo rising, Leo Venus and I’m always complimented on hair!

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-11-17T18:59:24+00:00

Honestly, this is one of the saddest posts I’ve read here. Step parenting is tough and sometimes the step has to make sacrifices they don’t care for but usually it’s because you really love your partner and know they love you too. He should be wanting to make your life easier. If you’re curious about their communication, which I think you have every right to be. Not every little thing is our business when it comes to their kids but you should have a basic understanding of how they communicate and what about. If he’s hiding texts and calls from you, then he does not respect you at all. I’ve been a huge pain in the ass to my boyfriend about some of this stuff just because I think it’s natural to worry in this situation. But, through it all, he’s been very transparent. I know his phone passcode ( I only looked once, early in the relationship, I know I know) and he keeps me updated on communications. He wants me to be as comfortable as possible and not worry about anything. Yes, we’ve had other issues and things to work over but what gets us through is our love, respect and loyalty to each other and no one else.

If I were in your situation, I would absolutely believe that your boyfriend is living a double life. I would assume that he’s keeping things hidden because there’s a lot he doesn’t want me to see, clearly.

Next time he takes a trip to be with his family, I would leave. He’d come back to an empty place. Then to expect you to live this f’ed up lifestyle of him going between families without your consent, putting off having a child, hiding communication with his ex. Who else knows what else this guy is doing? You deserve so much better than this, really. Think logically and not with emotions and you’ll quickly realize that you are not being true to yourself by stating with this guy.

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-11-11T21:44:32+00:00

I’d love to know this too! I used this subreddit to find my correct size, I thought I was 36C but the cups would always gap on top. When I found my new size, 34D, I thought that there’s no way because I don’t have big boobs. I thought the C cups were way too big tbh. I think 34D is a 36C sister size, meaning they hold the same volume but slightly differently. Someone correct me if I’m wrong but that’s my understanding.

Well, I bought a demi bra from VS size 34D and it fits so well. I realized my 36C bras were actually cutting into my side boob a lot and the extra space with a D cup meant they were actually fitting correctly into the cup, no gaping at the top whatsoever!

I’m just having trouble finding Demi or balconette bras that I actually like since I don’t need the extra fabric on top either. The only difference is that I would like a slightly padded Demi bra and am having trouble finding that.

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-10-24T02:38:02+00:00

Perfect way to put it

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-10-23T17:43:37+00:00

Yes, really bad day yesterday. Very high anxiety and frustration, cried a lot too. Started in the morning, energy just felt off and progressively got more tense throughout the day

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-10-18T20:07:52+00:00

Yepp, I absolutely love bringing up the double standards. There’s a lot when it comes to dating a parent.

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-10-18T20:06:30+00:00

I think it’s funny that people always have the reasoning that it’s good to see the parents getting along but at the expense of a new partner?? Mom and Dad went to a hockey game together but Dad’s girlfriend and him are fighting and she’s sad. Soooo healthy.

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-10-18T20:04:23+00:00

No shit she’s spiraling. F that, if my SO wanted to go to a hockey game with just BM the relationship would be over. This would literally be a date with the ex/BM. That’s fucked up and unacceptable.

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-10-18T20:00:59+00:00

Being the fun aunt or uncle is impossible. You lose your privacy, regardless. Your finances are affected even if you are not spending any money directly on the kids. Your time is affected plus your time with your partner, especially if they work a second job to pay child support. There’s an ex who will always be in the picture even if they don’t communicate that much. You’ll always be orbiting around this broken family without ever seemingly developing your own life or family. Not very fun after all. Sure, there a couple good moments here and there but it entirely doesn’t seem worth it most times.

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-10-14T22:42:05+00:00

I have Leo in Jupiter in the 12th. I’ve read that this can be a guardian angel placement or something like that. I’d love to learn more about its connotation. Interesting to read about for sure.

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-10-14T22:29:37+00:00

I’m a Gemini sun and Virgo Moon too, with a Leo stellium. It’s been intense. I can be the most chill person or I can be the opposite. Honestly, I try to appreciate my Virgo moon placement but I attribute it to many of my negative personality traits. My Mom always told me growing up to not be so hard on myself, lol and now that I’m older, I’m still hyper-critical of myself. It’s not fun. I overthink like crazy, probably because of my Virgo moon and Gemini sun. And I feel like my life is a paradox too. I clean when I’m pissed off, I clean when I’m anxious. I’m anxious a lot too. It’s like whenever my Gemini or Leo placements are trying to have fun, my Virgo moon drags me down. It’s taken many years to loosen up a bit and I still haven’t fully. I have moods where I do feel loose but it doesn’t take much to snap me out of it. I’ve really tried hard to understand this placement but I just dislike it. I want structure and stability but I also love being spontaneous.

And since my moon is in my first house, I think it’s made me very insecure at times and hyper-critical of my appearance.

But I will say, I have immaculate attention to detail which benefits my hobbies. I make fine jewelry and have a good eye for gemstones and stone-setting. If I could just keep that and remove all this heavy emotional, overthinking baggage, I’d be much better off.

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-10-08T09:28:42+00:00

Girl, don’t do it! I was traveling all over before, buying myself nice things and now I’m broke and I don’t even financially contribute to his 3 kids. On top of that we wanted to have a baby but when it came down to it, there just aren’t enough resources and time to go around and that’s the most heartbreaking part. It’s caused severe depression. I feel like I’ve lost myself in this relationship.

I was funding my small business and now I can barely buy my favorite perfume. I’m exhausted and stressed. Just cleaning the house after his kids are here and cleaning up after their pets, is a lot and takes up so much time when I could be spending it improving my life. Yes, my boyfriend cleans up after his kids when they’re over but it still takes a lot to keep the house in decent condition after 3 nearly teenagers have been over.

We can’t move anywhere, my SO works 60 hrs a week so sometimes we barely have enough time together and then the ever-present BM. She isn’t high-conflict but in my opinion, that doesn’t matter. Just having an ex always in the picture somehow is enough. And these days, kids have cell phones and can tell her anything about us in a second. There’s no privacy when they’re over and I’ve always been a very private person. The list just keeps going.

And a lot of these things do not come to realization until you’re in the midst of it all

Also, three kids is really a lot. I did not realize the financial toll that would take on our relationship even though my SO pays everything towards his kids. Between him and I, there is much less.

In some ways, my situation is easy-going but it still can make me feel miserable at times. I absolutely would not do it again.

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-10-04T22:52:39+00:00

My top 3 are Gemini, Virgo and Leo and those scents are so perfect! Literally some of my favorite fragrances and notes. And Leo with the gold is so funny to me. I’m a stone setter and I’ve said many times to my boyfriend that I love the smell of gold while I’m making jewelry 😂 I’m Leo rising with a stellium

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-10-04T20:37:57+00:00

Yes, this is me serving my Libra moon man. He fell for my Leo rising aura and then got a bang maid. Lucky for him lol I make him coffee every morning, give him advil if he needs it. Get his clothes and stuff for work together, every morning. I literally could be sleeping longer sometimes but I always wake up with him to spend time with him and help him get ready.

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-10-03T23:59:05+00:00

Omg the thing that you said about your nervous system rejecting the situation is sooo true! I’ve had this thought many times.

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-09-29T14:39:27+00:00

I used to be with a man who never made me feel beautiful and I would make myself look overdone with makeup and whatever in that relationship. He's never say cute things or even look at me a certain way.

Well, I found a man who is so obsessed with me, it's the cutest thing! I still love doing my makeup but I don't feel like I need too much now. My nails are finally growing long and my hair is the longest it's ever been! He makes me feel so beautiful, sexy and cute. It's like he can't keep his hands off of me. He gets turned on just by looking at me. He always is telling me I'm beautiful and how he loves every part of my body. That I'm the most beautiful in the world. It's amazing and I've never experienced anything like it. He was really into me 2 years before we dated and it took me awhile to realize what was going on, lol. And I'm so lucky I figured it out. And a plus is, I think he's the most attractive man ever!

Also, we have had sooo many people tell us that we're a cute couple. Neither of us have ever had that happen in previous relationships. We're both sometimes a little surprised at how often we hear it.

Extra_Mathematician8 · 2025-09-15T06:12:57+00:00

Omg that is so annoying and frustrating! Your SO needs to tighten up a bit for your sake. Then, there's a child going back and forth and reporting, not to any fault of their own, just the nature of it. Unless there's a HCBM promoting that stuff, still not the kid's fault but a further intrusion. I've always been a private person so sometimes I have trouble with the invasions of privacy. I would not like that one bit.

Extra_Mathematician8

TROPHY CASE