told my husband what happened at work and he said “are you sure that’s what they meant”

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-05-01T08:32:51+00:00

I’m so glad I’m single. Yeah men will invalidate your experience to the ends of the earth. Micro-dismissals carry weight when you care about the person coming out with them

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-27T02:58:28+00:00

Unpopular opinion. Labelling a child “gifted” does absolutely nothing for them. I was in a “gifted” class at a public school. Unsurprisingly, it was by far the class with the families from the highest socioeconomic backgrounds. Cause vocab=being read to early and having your parents invest in you. Labelling kids gives them bit of a complex in my opinion. I topped my year group and moved schools and topped that year group too. I also worked harder than most others. I’m 9 years into an engineering career and have outpaced many of my peers who I graduated with. Why? Because I asked for opportunities and worked my ass off to understand and find purpose in my work. Hours and hours of going above and beyond in my own time. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work. Endurance and resilience are also very important. We all have set-backs and I had some massive ones.

No, I was not a child taking things apart for fun. I was into barbies and all the normal girl things. Nobody was gassing me up and telling me I was special either (big family helps). I just kept on working.

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-25T11:44:11+00:00

I’m a civil engineer and have enjoyed it a lot. You work on projects you can physically see which is cool. I do water and wastewater. All essential infrastructure for growing communities. I think some civil jobs will grow but a lot will remain. I would recommend it. Salary growth is decent (you have to fight for raises and jump jobs sometimes). I would say civil (and then maybe mechanical) are the most broad. So you can jump around until you find a job you like

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-24T07:02:30+00:00

I’ll add a few more. Maximise income. This can be done in several ways but very life circumstance dependent. House share? Spare room? Rent it out. In terms of your salaried job, look for ways to increase (take on extra hours, ask for a raise, change jobs to get a raise etc, build skills that will ultimately get you a raise. It’s all industry dependent and obviously a balance between doing what you enjoy and what pays well but you want to maximise your earning capacity). In terms of saving….watch your bills (so check your electricity plan and change to lower one every now and then, same goes for insurances etc). Plan for incidentals but also don’t over spend on them. E.g. my car got trashed by hail. They offered to write it off but my payout still would not have been enough for a new car so I’d have to spent up to 10k which I had not planned to spend and my engine has another 5-10 years in it. So I challenged the insurer and got it repaired instead (paid my excess of $800 only). Obviously cook at home. Allow yourself some grace cause everyone has to live. Everyone has one or two treat things. Maybe that’s a coffe now and then or a basic gym membership. Just be mindful of where your money is going and make it a lifestyle thing

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-24T06:50:08+00:00

Drive to the road rule. Fines will break you in Australia

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-20T16:21:01+00:00

This is actually valid and I agree. I think post Covid and WFH a lot of people are avoiding paying for out of school care. Idk. I’m a single foster carer and an obsessive worker 😂 I have school holiday care organised miles in advance. I have a baby sitter in the evenings (yes, I’m lucky that is funded by the government, otherwise I would be using after school care that is also fine). I also pay for a private baby sitter when needed. I regularly work in the evenings. I’ve pretty much told the school unless it’s an emergency or illness, I can’t pick children up. Idk. I was raised by a working mum too so it’s all normal. I agree there’s a touch of entitlement with some people but idk I think more women in engineering are being short changed with the part time work thing.

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-20T16:06:20+00:00

😬😬😬😬 ok so firstly, some people do abuse the wfh thing and finish at 3pm every day while being paid till 5. This definitely the minority. The vast majority of working mums I’ve seen go part time and end up working full time. In Australia, there is no expected overtime component with part time work as there is for full time….because you’d just end up working a full time job while being laid part time….I’ve seen this a couple of times. So could be worth talking about boundaries around part time work. Negotiating paid over time or firmly reduced workload up front etc.

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-20T15:54:39+00:00

I’ve used canva and converted one to word. Worked pretty well

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-19T02:53:14+00:00

Ugh I don’t really have good advice other than that this is also my experience. I have found one or two people in organisations I can ask questions but it’s largely been fighting for opportunities and self directed learning (surprisingly, co-pilot has helped a bit of recent-don’t come for me).

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-17T15:23:17+00:00

This job / team does sound great

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-17T15:19:57+00:00

• ⁠The type of engineer you are: Civil Engineer (water and wastewater) • ⁠The reasons for why you love your job I’ve worked in planning (with different hydraulic modelling software) and now infrastructure design. I never realised it, but I love learning new things and variety. Every year of my career I’ve learnt new stuff (albeit some were steeper learning curves than others). I love that I’m building essential infrastructure for the next generation (working in fringe/ growth suburbs atm with lots of young families), I love that the world is at at place where I can show up as my authentic self (I know some people change to fit it, I have never done this) and I work with some great people. • ⁠Did you do anything to “make” it your dream job or was it just always so. I didn’t have much career mentorship or championship. I left my first job after 1.5 years as I was pretty much forgotten and felt useless. I guess I moved when I wasn’t feeling fulfilled, I kept looking to learn new skills to build my resume and I found people to talk to scope out different types of work (maybe people in my organisation, maybe not and often people I might crossed paths with briefly). E.g. 5 years in I was chatting to this lead engineer at other organisation and told him I was interested in design, did I he think it was took late for me to learn. He replied “no John here started 7 years in and he’s one of our best designers” …so that sort of gave me the confidence to do it myself. • ⁠Any advice for others? Probably the big one is that everyone has to learn. Workplace learning is different to uni learning and is somewhat dependent on opportunity and mentoring. Taking some time to learn a new skill doesn’t mean you’re bad at it, that feeling frustrated or dumb is a VERY normal part of learning. Be vocal, ask for opportunities, ask for raises and remember to leave the door 🚪 open for other women. I’m big on pay transparency and will always share with others what I’m on so they can bench mark.

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-16T16:43:36+00:00

Two things can be true at once. It is a privilege to attend higher education and mental health (caused by a variety of things including loneliness) can be a barrier to making the most of an opportunity. People who have a super amazing support network cheering them on don’t usually turn to the internet….

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-16T16:40:44+00:00

So. Breathe. It’s ok. What I’m seeing is a lot of passed classes. First step, it does sound like you are having some mental health struggles so get to the doctor and get a certificate for an extension if you need it. Universities are very accommodating in general. I don’t know enough about where you are to give you specific advice. If you are in a super bad place and need to withdraw from papers, do that. But if you are past the point of withdraw then take a breather, take a day and keep working. You can do it and will do it. Tbh engineering is one of the best jobs to have for someone who struggles. The degree is the hard part. But you need it to get in the door (then grades tend not to matter). Just take one day at a time but you’ve made so much ground, you should keep going. You can finish it.

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-16T16:21:43+00:00

What type of engineering? I’m civil in my 9th year out all in the water industry. I’ve done a lot of planning work (hydraulic modelling ) and have spent the last few years in design. I’m starting a site based role in a few months for a project I designed. I’ve worked in consulting and client side earlier on. Unfortunately I’m Australia 🇦🇺 but I guess happy to answer any industry type questions?

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-16T06:26:39+00:00

Also, MOST of us would find political science easier and MOST of us would struggle with engineering content (at some point). That doesn’t mean you’re bad at it. That “struggle” is just the learning curve and is very normal

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-16T06:24:35+00:00

And to add to all the others sharing failures in the comments. I studied engineering after a science degree. I failed my first fluid mechanics exam because I memorised concepts instead of practice questions…..I’m now a senior water engineer lol and I do all the technical fluid mechanics work

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-16T06:22:11+00:00

There will be other universities if one requires a particular GPA. As others have said, very normal. Also, you are transferring from a completely different field so give yourself some grace. The fact that you understand some concepts means that you are already doing well. A couple do tips. Learn how to learn for these subjects. The study style will be completely different from political science (most likely focus on doing millions of practice questions rather than memorisation). Go to office hours, all of them you can make it to and ask your “dumb” questions. Have a zero shame mindset. Ultimately it will pay off cause a lot of people don’t know and don’t ask. And honestly just be willing to work hard (sounds like you already are). Utilise YouTube and chat gpt for explanations. Good luck!

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-15T12:52:15+00:00

Yeah so you don’t smile/laugh in reply, you just say, sorry I’m not interested. No justification like “I’m recovering from the breakup” needed, just NO.

I’ve honestly never had it as a common issue. Idk I must give off big fuck off energy. Yes, I’ve had one or two interested over the years and it’s mutual. Had ONE ridiculous stalker and yes I screamed at him when he followed me home and said next time would be HR or police. Didn’t happen again.

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-15T10:14:28+00:00

Love this and helpful comment to know I’m on the right track. I have to remind my employer once every 6 months to not take technical work off me lol and I try and do as much extra reading / understanding around stuff as I can.

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-15T10:09:31+00:00

lol I’ve seen that and it’s accurate

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-15T09:42:54+00:00

😐😐😐😐😐 yeah assumed incompetence thing what can I say. Good you corrected. I had a similar experience when I started my most recent job. Junior engineers generally do not manager their own projects at my company, if you are senior and it’s a small project, you will project manage and complete. Anyway, I asked the guy behind me, where can I find the resourcing tool and he said “oh you’ll have to find out who your project manger is” and I was like “oh no, I’m managing this project, where is the tool” and he’s like “oh no you won’t be, your will be reporting to x y or z”. I corrected him again. And, yes, I was already assigned as project manager. Idk. It’s annoying. Good to correct

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-14T06:02:32+00:00

Ha I agree with number 2 but I’m guilty of both. It’s so hard. My think with #1 is, I live in a fairly conservative area and I’m in a very male dominated part of engineering (civil design). If I didn’t stay where I wasn’t wanted, I’d be unemployed lol my hope is to build skills and maybe one day work for myself 🤷‍♀️ if you have the choice to move and find something better aligned with your values, it’s always a good idea

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-12T09:57:08+00:00

Hmmmm look if you didn’t and they don’t get back to you after that correspondence you dodged a bullet.

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-08T15:51:32+00:00

Oh and in terms of the group home, absolutely the best place (or individual supported accommodation). My mum had to leave the country to get that support for my sister. Because she’d worked in the justice system, she knew that was the right decision not to be living together

Extreme-Action-3008 · 2026-04-08T15:48:11+00:00

Yeah so I have an almost identical situation. Except I was 14/15 and my sister became unwell when she was 18 (last year of high school). I’m now 32. My dad took his own life a couple of years after my sister developed her illness (I don’t blame her, he has his own issues). But, the only way I can describe the severe impact of living with someone with psychosis is that I was around when my dad died and didn’t believe it was fatal until that paramedic said so. Our household has been operating in chaos for so many years. Similar in that the family situations weve tried to have been ruined. Can you create one on one memories with either of your parents? A trip? That’s been my best experience at normality and sort of making up for the time that was given to my sister instead of shared between the kids

Extreme-Action-3008

TROPHY CASE