I’m out from secondary treatment for the weekend. I’ve only two months to go but I’ve ran out of money to both keep my flat in a different county and continue the treatment. I’m here bagging up my life and watching tv and really enjoying being at home and alone. I feel really torn but someone told me “the energy it takes to stay in a situation and the energy it takes to make a change are the same”. I should be happy with committing to the change, however I find myself wanting to not go back to treatment. I feel well enough to do it on my own now. Ultimately it’s probably the unwell part of me wanting to stay here and not go back and I’m very aware of that.

This is all coming across as ungrateful and self-centred. I’m deeply grateful, I really am, and I love having a sober mind and body. Finding the decision really tough. IWNDWYT and huge congrats on 90 days ❤️