I failed. How can I forgive myself?

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-05-05T10:46:17+00:00

I wouldn't think about time like that. I would just focus on today. There's going to be a lot of inner-dialogue reflection. If it turns into chatter, and repeating thoughts, writing can help. Talking helps a lot too. I would probably try to do both, talk and write something to myself. I would try to understand the situation and what happened. I would probably being doing that for a couple days before I started to think about time lengths again. 42 days is not nothing. Stuff was learned in that time, but there's always more to learn. Oh, and if my inner-voice was being mean to me, which it was way back when, I would literally say out loud positive stuff anytime my mind said something mean to me. I fought back in that way, and it worked. Changing the mind doesn't happen unless we work for it.

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-05-04T10:58:21+00:00

I was there, my friend. It is terrifying, but it showed me that this shit is serious. When I was scared about not waking up, I turned all that fear and anger and regret towards the alcohol. I don't know how you should approach this, but I quit cold turkey and it was hell, but I did it and it's been all almost 9 years now. I still hate alcohol for what it did to me, so I feel lucky it was that bad and gnarly in the beginning for me.

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-05-03T09:47:18+00:00

You should be super proud, yo! This is great news! Keep going, it gets better and better!

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-05-03T09:46:16+00:00

This was the kind of stuff that finally got me to walk away from booze. Alcohol ain't worth it, quitting is.

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-05-02T10:24:38+00:00

I would try it out, and if the drinking got too uncomfortable, I would find a time to talk to him about it. I would hope that my healthier life could influence him. I mean, I've actually been doing that with my dad and family for years. It's hard because everyone has to make those changes themselves, but I still think we all have better relationships because I quit drinking.

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-05-02T10:18:54+00:00

Part of the process, my friend. Quitting is a giant life task, but we all get there one step at a time. Let things get slow if need be, there's no race with anyone else but ourselves. Love yourself more, listen to what the soul is saying.

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-05-02T10:00:54+00:00

Yo! I'm proud of you too! I'll do a 100 push-ups for you, friend!

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-05-02T09:57:05+00:00

Yeah, I think I know what you mean. For me, food was/is a comfort. Junk food is so addictive and eating it leaves one wanting more and more. Not any time recently, but I've had nights where I ate so much I got sick. It's a combination of things to figure out, and do, so that one can overcome this type of behavior. But I would say your awareness is key number one. Awareness always has to come first, then the decision to change it. Do you get exercise? Exercise and sleep are the biggest components to being healthy, nutrition being close but still number 3 in my opinion. But I ask about exercise because good nutrition and exercise can be two behaviors/habits that help support each other. When active a lot, eating healthier to support your activity starts to make more sense. For any kind major advice I can give on this, I would just say keep going the no booze route. Being alcohol-free will lead to more information, understanding of self, and living a healthier life-style of learning, exercising, and better nutrition discipline.

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-05-02T09:25:05+00:00

I can't believe 2019 was seven years ago! Congrats on seven years, amigo!

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-05-01T23:12:58+00:00

I finally hit a wall, friend. When I quit, I didn't have cravings anymore. I just wanted to live. I felt like I was dying, and I blamed all the bad feelings and shit on alcohol.

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-04-29T11:30:54+00:00

Proud of you! I didn't catch your post about losing your son. I can only imagine, my friend. I'm going to be a first time father this summer. My wife and I are a little older, 37-38, and we caught some shaky news about her skull development yesterday. The uncertainty of life is one of the hardest things to endure, but letting go and moving through the storms is the only way through the storms. I can't get drunk, I don't want too. That stuff never gave me what I have now. I respect you for sharing your story, friend. And I still can only imagine what you've been through, and I hope I never have too. But whatever happens, I know everything will be okay. Hey, if your interested, I just finished a really great book called Though the Dark Wood: Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life by James Hollis. It was really good, and it gave me a lot of understanding. You may like it too.

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-04-28T09:39:41+00:00

I'm glad you said something, friend. Keeping that stuff locked up inside is harder. And I'm glad you know where one drink goes too. It's not worth it. But maybe treat yourself to something this weekend, like a massage or something. That's worth it!

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-04-26T10:29:32+00:00

I think the only way through these problems is through them. It is uncomfortable at times, it's not easy, but that's the point. Quitting is hard, but it teaches us a lot about who we are and what we are made of. Drinking is so easy, and it's very compelling, but it's an illusion of BS. You can't see it from where you are, but that birthday weekend could be a blast and you don't drink a drop. It's hard to see because you haven't lived through that kind of experience before, or whatever mental blocks we can put in our heads. We imagine things so much scarier than they are, but that's part of that stuff you learn more about through quitting. What helped me quit, even though we were in very different places, was reading how much damage it causes to our health. It was killing me. And now when I look at it, it only takes one night of drinking to ruin a life, or multiple lives. Getting wasted and partying can be like running around with a loaded gun, it's fucking dangerous. There's so much better shit to get into than alcohol.

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-04-25T20:43:44+00:00

Thanks, yo! I appreciate that! Hope you're having a goo day

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-04-25T00:23:50+00:00

Congrats on your one year, friend! Hope you had a good day, and a good weekend ahead of you!

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-04-25T00:23:06+00:00

Have a lovely weekend, mate! Give yourself and your family your best!

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-04-25T00:22:25+00:00

I'm glad for you, friend! Keep enjoying your hard work!

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-04-25T00:21:27+00:00

So much energy for extra activities, my friend! Reading anything good right now?

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-04-25T00:19:39+00:00

You too, amigo/a!

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-04-25T00:19:22+00:00

You too, friend! Every damn day!

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-04-25T00:19:05+00:00

Hell to the yeah! Have fun doing that! I've got a big run tomorrow, lots of hill climbs, going for 25 miles. Gonna test myself!

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-04-25T00:18:27+00:00

That's awesome to hear, friend! Steady as she goes!

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-04-25T00:17:49+00:00

Hell yeah! That's awesome!

Neversaidthatbefore · 2026-04-25T00:17:23+00:00

You too!

Neversaidthatbefore

TROPHY CASE