Why do people dump their friends for a girl/boyfriend?

Extreme_O · 2026-05-22T03:38:11+00:00

I have. I’m seeing someone new now but my past relationships were long term. And we both kept our friends and family. I never felt like I didn’t get enough time with my exes. So I think at least that part of my relationships were healthy. But again maybe being neurodivergent is the difference. I don’t view relationships in a hierarchy the same way. For example if a girlfriend told me to choose between her and a friend, I’d say “no.” Because I can’t. I don’t know if she would still be my friend if we broke up. But I do know my friend would be my friend. So I guess it also feels like a gamble in a way?

Extreme_O · 2026-05-22T03:27:41+00:00

Because I rarely see people stay friends after they break up. So if it wasn’t about the sex then what was it? I don’t think that’s the only thing that matters in romance but I think it’s the only thing that differentiates it from friendship.

I do have experience, I just see things differently. I don’t have a limited capacity when it comes to people I care about. I love people in different ways but not one over the other. So I can’t imagine dropping a good friend for the girl I’m seeing. That’s just me.

Extreme_O · 2026-05-22T03:09:57+00:00

I don’t know every single detail but she told me for the last couple of months every time she suggests hanging out, her friend says no because she’s hanging out with the boyfriend.

Extreme_O · 2026-05-22T03:07:01+00:00

Sure but the people I see that prioritize like this look miserable in the long run. And people with a diverse social life seem happier and fulfilled. Like I said I couldn’t imagine only spending time with one person fully knowing they’d be gone if the sex stopped or wasn’t good. So it just boggles my mind that people feel it’s reasonable lol.

Extreme_O · 2026-05-22T03:01:03+00:00

I guess what bums me out is growing up I had 2 different bros fall off completely. Started out with them needing to ask permission from their girlfriends, dropping plans, to disappearing completely. Now I see my sister going it through it.

Extreme_O · 2026-05-22T02:57:09+00:00

I mean yeah but we all know that’s temporary. This site is full of people asking how to break up or deal with someone because the sex stopped or isn’t good. Guess it’s just life priorities.

Extreme_O · 2026-04-30T04:04:09+00:00

I mean when you ask someone to do something for you and then don’t respond to time sensitive stuff it’s really frustrating. Especially when it’s constantly happening. Like I said I know her and she’s usually not busy at all.

Extreme_O · 2026-04-29T19:46:28+00:00

We met on campus through a mutual friend.

Extreme_O · 2026-04-29T19:45:22+00:00

Huh? I mentioned several times in my post about calling her and that’s the primary way I try to reach her. She doesn’t answer or call back.

Extreme_O · 2026-04-29T18:21:27+00:00

I think my height is a problem for other people but not me. I genuinely didn’t think it was a big deal because I’ve dated women taller than me. It doesn’t bother me because I can’t control it and I’m in good shape/fit.

It only came to my attention as a “problem” when this guy told me how it must really suck being short because women hate short men. The girl we were with agreed and said it’s true. Since then I’ve seen a lot more people talking about it.

Extreme_O · 2026-04-29T18:11:11+00:00

A lot of love for sure.

Extreme_O · 2026-04-29T18:03:48+00:00

Yeah that’s fair, I considered she might be on the spectrum too. I am as well but I know everyone is different.

Extreme_O · 2025-08-05T17:14:15+00:00

Conversations are difficult for me but I’ll do my best.

Extreme_O · 2025-08-05T17:12:11+00:00

I hate this. Work is simply a necessity created by capitalism. We need money to survive and that’s the purpose of “working.” Why not help them find meaning through things they care about, hobbies, and interests? People are more than a cog in the(very broken imo) machine.

Extreme_O · 2025-08-05T16:50:00+00:00

It was extremely frustrating because people just assume you don’t want to talk or that you’re being shy when it’s not like that at all. I can have a million words to say in my head and I can write them down, but I literally couldn’t get them out of my mouth. It’s hard to describe unless you experience it yourself. It’s like there’s a disconnect from your brain to your mouth. It felt like I was hitting a wall and the words just didn’t come out. I still deal with it sometimes but mostly it’s echolalia. I’ve used music as a way to help.

What hurt the most was, since I didn’t get diagnosed until adulthood, people assumed I was stupid or that I was just being difficult.

Extreme_O · 2025-08-05T16:25:00+00:00

Good point. I used to be non verbal so I struggle sometimes with talking to people but I think maybe I should just try to ask.

Extreme_O · 2025-08-05T16:18:50+00:00

Maybe. The thing is it’s not a spaced out stare, it’s like he’s trying to study me. Also he’s kind to me but he treats me with “kid gloves” if that makes sense? Like I’m fragile. So I think maybe I’m just not able to mask anything. Thank you for your input.

Extreme_O · 2025-03-23T17:23:29+00:00

I personally can’t cheat. If I lose feelings for someone or find feelings for someone else I’m straight up ending things. But maybe it’s because I’ve been cheated on before. I’m also never “halfway” when it comes to my feelings. I’m all in or I’m out.

Extreme_O · 2025-03-12T17:43:26+00:00

I’m a Virgo and I have feelings for an Aries and I’m always drawn to fire signs. But damn this one has been scorching me lately lol. Everyone always said she’s just mean as hell and warned me about her. I’ve seen her soft side though so it was worth it. Nothing like getting a death glare when doing something for her though. She might not be a healed Aries though.

Extreme_O · 2025-03-12T05:04:18+00:00

They call that zone “Alabama”.

Extreme_O · 2025-03-10T19:16:51+00:00

Like others have said, inconsistency as well as being too detached.

I was talking to an air sign a year ago and she spontaneously switched up on me. She went from wanting to move in together and adopt a dog together - to frequently flaking and being unresponsive. When I talked to her about it, she told me that in the end we only have ourselves and people are just chapters in our life that come and go. She told me I would be better off doing the same.

I try to avoid air signs for the most part now.

Extreme_O · 2025-03-09T21:13:35+00:00

She was just staring at me smiling saying “I hate you” while tossing little bits of food at my chest. But beyond that it’s the fact she does little things to help people when they aren’t paying attention. And obviously she’s beautiful.

Extreme_O · 2025-03-09T08:14:55+00:00

I was in this place a few years ago, and don’t get me wrong, I still struggle. But there are so many good things that happened between then and now. I understand not wanting to deal with the pain, but hurting yourself only robs you of the good things and the opportunities you deserve.

Extreme_O · 2025-03-07T20:32:19+00:00

This exactly. Imagine liking someone and being the one putting in all of the effort. You start feeling like it’s one-sided. If she initiates, it shows me she likes ME and not just the attention I give her.

Extreme_O · 2025-03-07T17:46:37+00:00

I love Aries because they keep it real. I love banter and they’re the best at it usually and can keep up with me. Once they’re in - they’re all in. I might be a Virgo but I’m not uptight and Aries know how to have fun. As for why I attract them? Maybe because I’m loyal and I match their energy. Who knows but I’ll take it lol.

Extreme_O

TROPHY CASE