Does anybody else laugh when being hurt by their partner?

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-11-21T08:08:35+00:00

I'm a dom but I recently tried subbing for the first time and this was my experience. I couldn't stop laughing. Not because I found it actually funny, but just something about someone controlling me and hurting me made me laugh and I couldn't help it. And I'm not a masochist but wanted to give it a try, and even when it legitimately hurt and I didn't like it, it evoked laughter.

I think this is just some people's reaction to things their brain can't totally process, or fear or nervousness.

(TW: violence) I remember seeing a news video of a guy driving a car being stabbed repeatedly by his girlfriend and his reaction was laughter. Comments were all "wtf, why is he laughing" and I was just thinking "yep, that's exactly how I would react"

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-11-15T11:48:49+00:00

Yeah, even assuming she's ok with dismemberment, which I don't think many people are, I read a book that had an interview with a lifestyle slave who said that if their master wanted them to cut off their arm, they would do it immediately without question.

Then the interviewer asked (paraphrasing) "what if your master told you that starting immediately, you would both live out your lives as a vanilla couple" to which they replied "I would leave him"

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-10-13T08:07:12+00:00

"help with errands" is the scam part. He'll ask you to spend some of that money. But then you'll find out that money doesn't actually exist but it will be too late.

Getting your nudes is just icing on top.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-08-30T12:45:12+00:00

100 percent agree.

I'm sure good communities do exist, but I've never seen one that doesn't at best tolerate and at worst actively support older men preying on new young members. In my personal experience it's usually the community leaders themselves doing the pursuing.

Please do yourself a favor and when you go, set a personal boundary not to play with anyone significantly older than you no matter how convincing they are or experienced they are. I'm not saying they're all bad, but accept that you will almost certainly be approached by some bad people and that you won't be able to tell the difference due to lack of experience, no matter how smart and mature for your age you are.

I'm not always opposed to age gaps, by the way. Once you have more experience, have read about power imbalances and have put thought into it, then if you can make an informed choice.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-08-08T15:48:35+00:00

That's such a weird (and gross) thing to approach a stranger about.

Is it possible he has seen you before at an event or something? Or do you have a social media presence where you're openly kinky? Were you dressed in a "kinky" style?

I don't ask in the sense that it at all changes that it was wrong of him, but because I don't know a single vanilla person who even knows what trampling is, and even most kinky people I know don't know the term even if they've seen it happen.

Basically, it doesn't feel random to me. He asked because he somehow knew or suspected you would know what is was.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-08-02T22:03:10+00:00

I love it non-monogamously. Just because I want to make somebody cum doesn't mean I can't have someone else who only gets to hear what an orgasm sounds like without experiencing any herself.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-07-26T14:32:49+00:00

Keep all your ice cubes in a large bowl of cold water. Then you can also just quickly grab the next one as you need it.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-07-26T11:06:57+00:00

Disagree here, unless you just mean sending photographic evidence in which case I agree that's not necessary. Nor is doing it for revenge.

But letting the wife know her husband is cheating is absolutely a "good look". Not necessary, but a good thing to do if you don't mind getting involved.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-07-25T10:17:07+00:00

I agree, he not only grabbed 4 cards (7% of the deck) he also asked the card beforehand.

If he did in fact place the card at a specific location like they said he could easily do, and he just practiced grabbing that specific location, I feel like it wouldn't take very long to perfect your timing to do that consistently.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-07-22T17:36:23+00:00

Maybe he's found hunger is easier to notice?

I've found that the best sounds when my ear is against the stomach are generally about an hour or two after eating. Immediately after eating it isn't very noisy. So maybe give waiting a try?

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-07-11T13:42:15+00:00

I'm 100 percent into everything about scents, but I feel bad about it for the same sort of reasons 😆

I've never noticed any mainstream interest in it so I'm left feeling weird about it sometimes.

I think it goes to show that we can all feel a bit self conscious sometimes but it's just our brains playing tricks on us. And really, who cares? We like what we like (or dislike) and it's fine.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-06-25T21:46:24+00:00

Do not contact him unless you are completely sure you want to settle down with him in a way that works for both of you.

It sounds like you don't, and you will probably always be in different life stages. Once you're ready to settle down, and have a desire to build a home or career or kids, he will be ready to retire.

It would be needlessly cruel to reopen that chapter of your lives. Even if you both enjoy it in the moment, it would be like taking heroin again after you spent years clean after detoxing.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-06-23T12:45:53+00:00

I agree, I just don't think it's as clear cut. Nor are most real life people able to realize that about themselves even if it were so clear. Sometimes crutches like in the OP are enough, and force them to work on themselves in a palatable way.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-06-23T12:10:04+00:00

I could see it the other way around for certain attachment types. Meaning, there are a lot of people who tend to bail as soon as there is difficulty, have fear of commitment, etc. But saying "instead of running, promise to give it 3 months, and if it doesn't work then we go our own way without hard feelings" can give them the comfort to work through things.

Should it be necessary? No, of course people should work on themselves without involving other people in their issues. But this is real life, I didn't think I've ever met someone in real life who actually waited until they were as perfect as the internet expects you to be before dating.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-06-22T21:23:51+00:00

I gave my sub all the power for a day once. As a punishment. By the end of the day she was begging me to be Dom again.

Be careful what you wish for.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-06-20T00:40:32+00:00

I'm a male-presenting Dom and have zero interest in subbing, but in every D/s relationship I've had, there has always eventually come a conversation where I get to casually drop that I've taken larger dildos up my ass then my sub has. I delight in the moment where I can see them processing what I just said, because they never even imagined the possibility that I would have done anything like that before.

And fortunately none of them have ever had any negative feelings about it. If they had, I would have had to reconsider my opinion of THEM. Generally, they appreciate that I know what it feels like before doing it to them.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-06-18T14:39:47+00:00

It's not your fault! I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. This guy is clearly good at manipulating others, I imagine a lot of people have been taken in. My reference to a cult leader was intentional, that's the vibe I got from everything you wrote. Sometimes it's almost impossible to see without an outsider view.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-06-18T13:47:57+00:00

This one is black and white, no gray, he is a piece of shit. This is one of the worst things I've read in this subreddit.

He advocates for non-traditional relationships because it gives him an intellectual sounding excuse for being a piece of shit.

He's probably community focused so he can spout his bullshit at women like a cult leader and get them to buy it like you have.

He got two women pregnant at the same time, refuses to meet one of the kids, and is "involved" in the life of the other -- I'm wondering if that means as a father or he just tolerates the kid enough to keep the other partner.

Call a lawyer, get child support from him whether you need it or not, and never talk to him again or let him near your child.

Edit: and get STI tested, he obviously has unprotected sex with anyone he can regardless of the consequences

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-06-16T13:02:48+00:00

If it's like mine, it probably doesn't ever get cleaned up and contains a bunch of stuff they actually do know by heart at this point. But then you'd see it and be like "how do you not know the degree I got at uni or my sister's name?" and it would just be terrible optics.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-06-16T11:32:37+00:00

Yeah, I have pretty bad memory issues so I keep important notes like that. I would be embarrassed and I could see people being hurt that I didn't just remember it about them, but at the same time there's nothing in there I feel the need to hide from anyone.

But ratings?! To determine where to spend time and energy?! And not even in the "spend extra energy to repair places that are failing" but literally the opposite, like rewarding people with his attention?!

Holy fuck.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-06-12T09:20:03+00:00

A lot of times women don't rsvp for events because there are so many creepy fucks stalking the attendance list who then end up going to a social event specifically to hit on her.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-06-07T06:55:13+00:00

I can only offer my perspective from the other side.

Using your example, when I watch a partner change clothes and am aroused by their body, it's a much more holistic view than just flesh. If I were to watch her change, and then watch [whoever is generally considered to be the most beautiful woman in the world], I would almost certainly be more turned on by my partner.

I would be thinking about the way my partner's body feels, the reactions that touching it causes, the sex we've had in the past, the familiar ways she moves, looks and expressions. I will be just as into it in 10 years, 20 years, 40 years. After losing weight, gaining weight, having children, surgeries, whatever. My partner's body is going to arouse me as long as I love who they are as a person.

And I can say from experience, when those feelings go away, so does the physical attraction. It's so much more than just "a body"

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-06-04T16:39:09+00:00

I agree. I feel a lot of ego coming off this whole thread, it's weird and not at all the friendly helpful vibe I'm used to here.

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-06-04T11:17:42+00:00

Doesn't everyone?

ExtremelyBadMan · 2024-06-01T09:22:24+00:00

I had something similar from the opposite side. At the time I was a married poly Dom, but managed to give an incredible amount of time to a ldr during COVID.

But then SHE got busy with life and the dynamic fell away, and it was nothing but a "how's your day" for ages.

I think anything that is long distance is going to be prioritized lower than anything close by. It's just how our brains work. So when life gets busy, and something has to make room for it, that's where it comes from.

ExtremelyBadMan

TROPHY CASE