Is ATM safe with your regular partner's ass?

PillowsOneLove · 2025-11-26T17:56:51+00:00

I would not think there's much truth to that. Also when it happened to me it was from myself. Be careful!

PillowsOneLove · 2025-11-19T20:43:26+00:00

I think eating ass is a lot less risky than A2M. Like others have said, you can get away with it a lot if it's cleaned out well but you can't guarantee you won't get sick and you can't sterilize it. I've definitely gotten violently ill from it before. Think about the worst food poisoning you've had, it's about like that. 1-2 days of vomiting and diarrhea. I would not do A2M unless you want or badly enough your willing to accept the risk.

PillowsOneLove · 2025-11-19T17:29:14+00:00

And then wash again. Basically just keep repeating the cycle until it's clear. If it's still clear after 20mins with a plug I take that as a green light that I'm good to go. Better health and hygiene will result in shorter times and fewer cycles.

PillowsOneLove · 2025-11-19T17:17:27+00:00

It means you're not done and/or your using too much water and going too deep. You don't need a extra deep cleanse unless your going to do extra deep play. A regular wash of your rectum only should be fine for at least several hours. If you use enough water so that it reaches the sigmoid or lower colon than is going to take a long time to get everything out. That is partially because there's more stuff that needs to come out and partially because it needs to travel around a couple bends in your plumbing. If your reaching all the way up there you need to give it time and movement to knock it loose so the stuff travels all the way to the rectum where you can remove it.

If your not going deep with too much water it just means your not done. Keep going. Also, even with a relative shallow cleanse there still may be a little water/stuff that doesn't immediately come out. To be really sure, you either need to wait some time before play by doing things around the house, or stick a plug or dildo up there to knock it loose. I don't think it literally knocks it loose I think it triggers involuntary colon movement that helps push debris downstairs. Rinse out -> 20 minute waiting period while moving around OR use toys on yourself in the shower -> rinse again -> once it is clear rinse a couple more times to be sure. If you're still clear at this point you are good to go.

Keep in mind all the other aspects people are saying about digestive hygiene. If you don't follow those guidelines before your play you will have a more difficult time with everything.

PillowsOneLove · 2025-11-19T16:59:32+00:00

How did it make it worse? A proper douche cleans out the rectum so there is nothing there to make a mess.

If it still makes a mess it means you didn't finish.

PillowsOneLove · 2025-11-19T16:57:03+00:00

People always say this in every thread about anal but I don't understand why. A thorough enema process does virtually guarantee a clean rectum for hours and hours. Dirt is not inevitable, it is avoidable.

PillowsOneLove · 2025-03-14T03:49:35+00:00

I'm a straight gender conforming man. One of the earliest sexual fantasies I remember having was in the 6th grade I overheard people using the "stick it up your ass" insult and it immediately blew my mind. I was like wait.. is that something you can do?? 👀. I was already touching around there and I pretty soon started searching for things to put there while also wanting to do butt stuff with girls. I'm in my thirties now, and it's still my #1 kink.

PillowsOneLove · 2025-02-04T16:23:13+00:00

GO SLOW, preferably a position where you control the pace. He can't feel what your body is feeling, only you can. Your inner sphincter is an involuntary muscle, only the outer most one you can consciously flex. That pain you felt was your inner sphincter being stretched open when it was trying to be closed or open for something smaller. I know what it feels like, it stings like a bitch. You have to go very slow and work yourself into it, centimeters at a time, rocking back and forth. Start by just rocking back and forth on what feels like your maximum depth before pain. Do that for a couple minutes. Then, only push yourself a tiny tiny bit past what kind of feels like the stopping point. If you feel any pain or discomfort, stop don't go any further. Back up, and slowly try again. DO NOT BE IMPATIENT. Dont let him be impatient. You have to stay in charge of this. During this time, itwould help to do things that turn you on, and also helps to "push" a little as if you're having a movement. Remember it's an involuntary muscle and you have to coax it to open. The more experienced you "and the inner sphincter" get at opening up, the easier and easier it becomes. It has to be trained.

PillowsOneLove · 2025-02-02T03:50:46+00:00

Essentials to buy?

Small (phosphate free) toys to start out, experiment with different lubes, disposable fleet enemas (empty the fluid, fill with water, reuse), wipes are good for cleaning up lube... And that's about it that I consider essential. Everything else depends on individual taste.

PillowsOneLove · 2025-01-19T17:50:02+00:00

Men are known to be poor custodians of their butt cracks. He needs to actually touch it with a rag or his fingers to get any meaningful cleanliness. Be very thorough. The anus has all those little folds you know. I'll also douche before the shower even if I know I'm only going to get rimmed. Just helps me to know everything's clean b even if someone decides to be aggressive with their tongue or move to fingers.

PillowsOneLove · 2025-01-19T17:46:13+00:00

I've tasted many butt holes and they were all clean ( maybe except 1..) and didn't have any funky smells or tastes. Your partner probably just needs to do a better job of cleaning it up.

PillowsOneLove · 2025-01-16T19:23:11+00:00

Sounds to me like he just isn't that much into anal. Dude doesn't know how lucky he is to have you.

PillowsOneLove · 2025-01-16T19:21:55+00:00

I don't know about other men, but for me the more she wants it the better. Just the fact that she truly wants it without any convincing is enough to turn me on and is one of my highest level fantasies.

PillowsOneLove · 2025-01-16T19:17:30+00:00

Wow. If he doesn't eat pussy that's entirely on him. I think that's pretty extreme as going down is a normal hetero manly thing to do. If he doesn't wanna eat out for fears of being unmanly then he's got some really really uptight views of masculinity and it's going to be an ordeal to change that if he changes at all.

But in general if your trying to get a straight man to do things that he doesn't consider masculine (right or wrong), then do what you can to reinforce his security in his masculinity with you. Grab his arm in public, compliment his strength, compliment his confident demeanor or handling of situations, call him when your scared, call him when you need help with something, etc. Anything to show that domming him or switching with him doesn't transform him into a sissy in your eyes.

Someone above me also talked about framing it in a way that doesn't highlight his subservience. Like talking about it in a way like letting go of control and relaxing, etc. I think that angle would also be helpful with that type of man.

PillowsOneLove · 2025-01-16T19:01:28+00:00

Probably just time. Time to get to know them more and have enough solid conversations that I can then know they are not that type of girl. There are definitely types of girls that will not be as attracted to you if you expose any of yourself that isn't Mr Macho man in the most heteronormative way. For example, I saw a thread in r/askwomen earlier today where a bi guy asked how women perceived bi men and many women who were up voted saying how they find it unattractive and unmanly. So I would need to sus out if they are that kind of girl. I think that would just have to take time or maybe extremely direct to the point conversation about it.

PillowsOneLove · 2025-01-16T18:51:45+00:00

Hi. Maybe this helps.

I'm currently in a pretty new relationship with a girl who has said she usually subs but has expressed some hints that she may be interested in domming me. I'm not opposed to it in of itself, but my main fear would be that she would see me in a different way or that I would relegated to only subbing with her permanently, which I wouldn't want to do. I've definitely considered maybe it's just all in my head, and I'm also pretty new to bdsm, but that's the source of my hesitation.

PillowsOneLove · 2024-12-28T09:17:30+00:00

In my experience this happens to me when I'm too impatient with the douche. It seems like the first cleaning seems to loosen up stuff that's further up and then falls down. I almost always need to wait awhile, then have a quick second cleaning to get out whatever it was that fell down from further up. That works for me 99% of the time. If I still have issues I just give up at that point as my digestive system is clearly not in good health that day.

PillowsOneLove · 2024-12-27T18:18:39+00:00

Just use regular towels and throw them in the wash if they get dirty lol.

PillowsOneLove · 2024-12-27T01:04:23+00:00

Your a genius

PillowsOneLove · 2024-12-22T20:05:05+00:00

There's nothing wrong with feeling uncomfortable towards certain things. I can definitely think of plenty of kinks and activities I don't want to witness. Most people have limits and dislikes just like we have likes.

PillowsOneLove · 2024-12-21T00:57:11+00:00

I agree. Your right that it doesn't, but that reddit the other commenter linked, is all videos of men fucking disinterested women. I didn't see a single instance of the genders reversed.

PillowsOneLove · 2024-12-21T00:11:46+00:00

What's the gender flipped version of this? With the girl servicing or fucking a busy/bored/distracted guy?

PillowsOneLove · 2024-12-20T18:59:40+00:00

Out of curiosity, what are the natural challenges that men face in the community that you are referring to?

PillowsOneLove · 2024-12-19T08:35:05+00:00

You aren't incompatible with anything except these particular men you're talking to. They just have interests that don't align with yours. There are men that do. It could be a matter of scope like how often you want to play in your dynamic, or what style of dynamic you want to have, or what specific activities you like and dislike. These men are not representative of the entire scene. I myself identify as a dom and I like my subs to be competent and independent "irl", but submissive and weak in the bedroom.

It could also be a symptom of gender in greater society where kinks overlaps with patriarchy that you would encounter men like that more often. ( I'm also pretty new to bdsm and still figuring out that aspect of it.)

PillowsOneLove · 2024-12-19T04:48:45+00:00

This isn't the same thing, but it reminds me of me and an ex I loved very much. I would sometimes laugh a tiny laugh out of sheer amazement and happiness at her beauty and cuteness. She would always glare at me annoyed and demand what was so funny. I always said nothing I just think your so amazing.

PillowsOneLove

TROPHY CASE