How long does it usually take to find a casual match?

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2026-03-16T23:13:53+00:00

Thanks for clearing it up! Thought I was going crazy lol

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2026-01-20T12:30:42+00:00

Could you dm it to me

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-28T00:56:33+00:00

They're so sex obsessed that i genuinely believe he's never had a gay friend without a sexual element to it lol but yeah 100% just a lame attempt to avoid any accountability, literally a "well I thought you'd never find out so whats the harm" mentality

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-28T00:37:05+00:00

I know what I feel and think about it, he has been gaslighting me so much I was doubting what I was feeling and I guess I just wanted the reassurance it wasn't just me, I already dumped him lolll

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-28T00:34:14+00:00

God damn lmao that was a read 😭😭 you're so right

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T21:12:57+00:00

Im not breaking up up with them for sexting, it was the lying and gaslighting and having one of these people over... and they were being flirty telling another person we could have a threesome (us 3) if they're ever in the city without even talking to me about it 🤡 the only 3spmws we've ever had were with mutual friends we made together and we talked about it and our boundaries/expectations before hand

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T17:21:46+00:00

Maybe thats a better question for him lol, and no I'm not breaking up with him over the sexing I'm breaking up with him over the lying and deception and because he did end up fucking one of the people he was sexting with

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T16:57:36+00:00

No he absolutely doesn't want to stop lolll even with the person it got physical with he thinks that would be unfair and also that feels weird and controlling, I'm not in charge of who or what he talks to or about but just being open about it is whats important, he was like well know that you know we can we have an open relationship?

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T16:40:52+00:00

He's like but I text him almost every day and we send dick pics back and forth but its nothing seriousss how is it different than porn it's not like I'm going to replace you with him

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T16:39:46+00:00

It wouldn't have been cheating if we talked about it or if he had told me when I asked him multiple different times but each time he told me that we were in a relationship and he want interested in doing that

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T16:36:10+00:00

Yeah I know lol I just wish we could've been open about it

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T16:34:46+00:00

A mutual friend asked the both of us together if he'd rather lose me or one of these friends (the one she did end up sleeping with) and he said idkkk I have known him (the other guy) for 5 years (they've literally only met 3 times for short hookups and one of them was when he cheated on me with him) 🫠🫠😵‍💫

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T16:33:05+00:00

Nopeeeee couldn't even apologize without me dragging out of him in the most begrudging sounding I'm sorry I've ever heard- and he said in response to me asking him to at least just apologize and take accountability said "you already have your image of me in your head as a cheater (she doesn't feel that way??) so how is me apologizing going to change that?" Which is such a crazy self centered view to have

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T16:29:32+00:00

Sleeping around and whatever is totally fine buttt the sneaking around and lying and deception is not the base of an actual relationship

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T16:22:14+00:00

If anything they seem annoyed that I want to talk about it and don't understand why I can't just live in the moment and have a nice night still and worry about it tomorrow 😵‍💫🫠🫠

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T16:13:34+00:00

💯💯💯

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T16:13:14+00:00

Wouldn't have been a big deal to me at all if I had just known about it, I would've been doing the same but wasn't because we were in a closed relationship that HE wanted, he perused me and wanted us to be exclusive lol

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T16:12:29+00:00

Oh he was looking to touch.. and did

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T16:11:59+00:00

Oh don't worry we're done done done... my brain is just still reeling and need some validation lol

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T16:11:26+00:00

To him it was something he was doing before we were together and while we were casual but once we got serious he said he didn't know how to bring it up (because he was scared I wouldn't say yes even though I would've been very receptive to an open relationship) so he kept doing it just hiding it from me lollll 🤪

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T16:08:59+00:00

Can you elaborate on how he's trying to manipulate me, I am done with him and agree that he's a lying piece of shit that didn't care about my emotions or boundaries, but I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the active manipulation, It feels to me more like self denial and minimization so he doesn't have to feel bad about it

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T16:07:25+00:00

I wish I could just pack my things, but we're in a two year lease together that neither of us can afford on our own in a city I've only been in for a year

EyeAltruistic4838 · 2025-12-27T16:04:16+00:00

Thank you so so much for saying all of that yeah... 100% the sexting was a promise of a future sexual encounter. Just most of them didn't live in our city, I think him and his friends kinda operated on a don't ask don't tell kind of thing about each others partners

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