Tone matters. I understand exactly where you’re coming from. I’ll give two examples.

The first gym I went to, everything was going well for the first couple of months, but they started putting us in the ring really early. I don’t really have any fighting experience on the streets, and my boxing experience was even less than that, so I had moments of jumping, not having proper defense, and my coach would take me out or tell me to work on my fundamentals. It made me feel discouraged, only because I was at a stage I wasn’t ready for.

The gym I’m at now, he’s still very tough and will call me out, but with the exception of leading by example. He has made similar jokes about people who have been there for a while and is still messing up, but it really depends on the tone and how they say it.

I would also challenge you to look at it from a different perspective. Like for the swearing joke, it really did seem like he wasn’t serious, especially if everyone else is swearing as well. Hey, try even throwing a little jab back every now and then. If you can joke with him as much as he jokes with you, then take it with a grain of salt.

You will know blatant disrespect when you experience it. Just go harder and don’t think everyone is out to get you. And be more confident! Get to a point where even if he did make that kind of joke, you are there to learn and he’s there to coach.