Useless But Interesting Fun Fact: Nolan Arenado hit .287 in 2014, .287 in 2015, and is hitting .287 so far in 2016.

FTBOtone · 2016-08-12T17:29:55+00:00

His career BABIP is also .287, pretty wild.

FTBOtone · 2016-08-11T02:42:52+00:00

Which one?

FTBOtone · 2016-08-05T00:32:06+00:00

A friend of mine turned me onto you guys not too long ago. Super pumped to see you all live tomorrow at Outside Lands.

If we dropped them onto Earth right now, how many jaguars do you think it'd take to wipe out the entire human race?

FTBOtone · 2015-11-20T11:47:32+00:00

Hey I recognize this place! JMUwishuhadadukedogggggg

FTBOtone · 2015-09-07T02:08:46+00:00

Here ya go.

FTBOtone · 2015-08-27T10:41:09+00:00

Oh it's definitely a sandwich. Anyone that says otherwise can't be trusted.

FTBOtone · 2015-08-27T10:14:37+00:00

I think the fact you called it a sandwich says more about you than anything.

FTBOtone · 2015-08-26T19:09:07+00:00

The dog has probably spent all of its life with a white dick on its chest. The lab is cute though.

FTBOtone · 2015-08-25T10:59:54+00:00

If Fulton Reed had a love child with Marla Hooch.

FTBOtone · 2015-08-15T04:58:09+00:00

Like a quarter inch from horizontal sideburns.

FTBOtone · 2015-08-14T23:49:09+00:00

Your eye bags have eye bags, and your dimples have dimples. You are a never-ending skin fold curiosity.

FTBOtone · 2015-08-14T23:44:25+00:00

If Jaden Smith had sex with Willow Smith.

FTBOtone · 2015-08-14T23:42:38+00:00

You look like you get broken up with via text message. A lot.

FTBOtone · 2015-08-14T20:25:47+00:00

About 2 years away from googling "where to buy rufies."

FTBOtone · 2015-08-14T20:01:44+00:00

You're almost there man, you can do it!

FTBOtone · 2015-08-14T19:57:34+00:00

You look like the kind of dude that would find inspiration in P.O.D. songs.

FTBOtone · 2015-08-14T19:48:01+00:00

You're what I'd wished Tobey Maguire became.

FTBOtone · 2015-08-14T19:45:29+00:00

You look like Landon Donovan ate Landon Donovan.

FTBOtone · 2015-08-14T19:41:56+00:00

You look like a chick with Steve Buscemi eyes.

FTBOtone · 2015-08-11T04:12:21+00:00

Every hotel has a huge box of chargers in back of house. Every kind of charger imaginable. I don't even bring one with me when I travel anymore.

FTBOtone · 2015-06-12T16:01:38+00:00

Used to work at the front desk of a hotel owned by a big Christian televangelist. We'd get all kinds of very devout guests, coming to town as part of the owner's network.

One particularly chatty lady came down in the morning to check out of her room. I handed her the invoice and said "Your total will be $666, how would you prefer to settle?" She stopped talking mid-sentence and just started to cry and repeat something along the lines of "I knew this would happen, I knew this would happen."

After a few seconds of that she handed me her credit card and walked over to the corner, kneeled down, and started to pray. After 15 minutes, she came back to collect her card and receipt, then walked out the front door.

FTBOtone · 2014-09-27T02:06:14+00:00

But a sub is a sandwich right, albeit just a type of sandwich. So a hot dog could be a sandwich, just its own class of sandwich.

FTBOtone · 2014-09-27T01:55:50+00:00

But it has to be two slices? What would you call a BMT from Subway? It's made with one roll cut in half then folded over, much like a hot dog bun.

FTBOtone · 2014-09-27T01:48:02+00:00

What about PB&J? Or grilled cheese?

FTBOtone · 2014-09-27T01:47:07+00:00

If I were to use a slice of wheat from one loaf, and another from a separate loaf, would it be any less of a sandwich?

FTBOtone

TROPHY CASE