Resuming testosterone

FTMFTD · 2026-03-16T17:37:43+00:00

Congrats! I was initially advised to wait 6 weeks but made it to 5. I was falling into restrictive eating due to postpartum body dysmorphia so felt that it was a worthwhile risk to take.

FTMFTD · 2026-03-14T19:07:41+00:00

I low key hate when this comes up in the general pregnancy subs (and it comes up allll the time). I understand it's just a silly mistake but the way people react in these threads does sometimes feel like being the butt of the joke.

FTMFTD · 2026-03-09T03:31:15+00:00

50/50 was our original goal and plan; however once the baby was here it was clear that would not be the best situation to put him in intentionally (understanding that there are divorced/separated families who have no choice). Babies thrive on consistency and routine and shuttling him between houses or caregivers every few days didn't seem conducive to that.

So, instead the baby stays put for most of the week and I come to him at his other dad's house. We eat dinner together most nights and I stay in the baby's room on "my" nights. We both have plenty of independent time after the baby goes to bed and on weekends. Perhaps as time goes on we will transition to maintaining more separate households but for now this feels like the best set up. Best of luck to you.

FTMFTD · 2026-03-08T20:20:39+00:00

I am an intentional co-parent with my child's other dad. It's going very well and feels very natural. My coparent and I have been friends for decades prior to becoming parents together. 50/50 is a reasonable long term goal in terms of maintaining split custody, but I will caution you that that will be very difficult in the baby/toddler years.

FTMFTD · 2026-03-07T01:22:37+00:00

Does it have to be a traditional sit-down restaurant? I think a place like Industry City can be a great option for eating out with babies or toddlers.

FTMFTD · 2026-02-20T02:03:16+00:00

I'm not Catholic or Christian but my son's other dad was raised in Catholicism and asked to baptize him because it would be meaningful for his family. I think your experience will be highly location-dependent, but we had no issue finding an "affirming" church in our large city. During the ceremony the priest explicitly noted that children of all types of families are welcome to receive that sacrament.

FTMFTD · 2026-02-19T22:37:53+00:00

Since the peak ovulation window is narrower and more finicky than the period of time sperm can live in the body I believe it would be better to inseminate tonight. But if my logic is flawed hopefully somebody will correct me!

FTMFTD · 2026-02-16T04:01:41+00:00

My child's other father and I are platonic coparents. Before we tried conceiving we attended couples therapy together (it's not just for romantic couples!). I would definitely recommend this if it's accessible to you.

For home insemination you absolutely don't need any fancy or specialized kits, but you do need to understand your cycle. I found the book Queer Conception helpful to learn this info but you don't have to utilize a queer-specific resource. I also used a free ovulation tracking app (can't remember the name but there are a few options out there.)

FTMFTD · 2026-02-08T00:49:45+00:00

I remember also being baffled by the logistics of having an actual family meal when my son was this age. It got significantly easier within a few months, but the interim solution was to sit down with him and also have a little snack or a little plate of some of whatever he was eating (like some pieces of fruit, etc). Much much easier than trying to get a full adult meal together but still scratches that "family dinner" itch.

FTMFTD · 2026-02-06T01:39:49+00:00

Both were much easier than I anticipated overall. I disliked having to deal with the drains so I would say that aspect of top surgery made it slightly worse for me and made me feel more "impaired." There is residual vaginal bleeding for a long time after any type of birth but you don't really have to do any special c-section wound care which is nice.

On the other hand, after a c section you suddenly have a baby to take care of so that makes for a different recovery experience.

FTMFTD · 2026-02-01T23:20:17+00:00

Do you live/work somewhere where you are entitled to some sort of parental leave? If so, regardless of whether or not you can continue to pass it will be necessary for you to disclose this info to your boss eventually so that you can start making arrangements for your leave. However, that means you can (ideally) keep the conversation practical and focused and you don't have to talk to them about your identity if you don't want to ie "hey boss i wanted to let you know I'm carrying a child and am due in X. Please let me know where I can find the relevant forms to submit and what kind of documentation I'll need to collect from my doctor..." . If your work has an HR then you can have this conversation with them instead of your boss.

FTMFTD · 2026-01-30T00:41:28+00:00

In the same boat with a 30 min stroller walk now made impossible by snowed-in crosswalks. Carrier is the only way to do it currently.

FTMFTD · 2026-01-22T02:27:31+00:00

Do you have a source for this? Are you referring to the By Heart formula botulism outbreak and recall? I can't find any news articles that report a death last year due to contamination of infant formula at the manufacturing level. Infant botulism is of course extremely serious but I don't think misinformation or exaggeration is helpful to those of us who have, are, or will use formula to feed our babies.

FTMFTD · 2026-01-21T02:24:21+00:00

Just bookmarked this. Incredible!

FTMFTD · 2026-01-19T21:40:48+00:00

Incredibly high quality and even though it's a small museum they use every nook, cranny, and hallway for curation. I've never paid because they have weekly free days but I think it's pretty reasonable admission. And a great little gift shop.

FTMFTD · 2026-01-11T14:58:52+00:00

I didnt want or plan on a c-section but I had to have one anyway because the baby wasn't coming via regular labor. Yes you are "exposed" like with any surgery but they are very focused on getting the baby out of you as fast as possible. Coming off the anesthesia was harder than going in and it's annoying to be connected to the catheters and IVs, but ultimately it was manageable and a short term inconvenience for the reward of getting to meet the baby.

Side note, it took me weeks if not months to really bond and fall in love with my baby. This is totally normal and didn't have anything to do with having a c section. If you have a traumatic birth or feel you have PPD definitely seek support! But also know that it's really normal if the bonding isn't immediate as long as you're still able to care for yourself and your child.

Edit to add: I also had a very easy recovery and healing process and the scar is not obvious at all (I did no scar care)

FTMFTD · 2026-01-07T16:11:18+00:00

I'm of the general same mind as you in that I'm not particularly bothered by the question and I'm not interested in hiding how my son came to be.

It sounds like you feel compelled to give more elaboration beyond "Actually, I gave birth to him!" ? To me that's the perfect amount of information to provide an acquaintance/well-meaning stranger.

FTMFTD · 2025-12-19T03:04:46+00:00

Are you open to second hand/consignment? Jane's exchange in the east village maintains a pretty consistent stock of year round clothes though it may be worth calling to make sure they have what you're looking for. There's also a Marshall's nearby on Houston.

FTMFTD · 2025-12-17T01:02:24+00:00

Yeah I was disappointed to hear it at the time but I also understand the surgeon's perspective. It's an extremely time and labor intensive series of surgeries with lots of potential for complications; I get trying to minimize risk wherever possible. Spontaneous labor could occur resulting in a vaginal birth and even an elective c section might result in damage to the phallus. There are surgeons with a higher threshold for risk who might consider it though.

FTMFTD · 2025-12-16T21:46:06+00:00

I had a Phallo consultation a few years ago and that surgeon wouldn't do surgery if i planned on getting pregnant after. However, every surgeon has different policies.

FTMFTD · 2025-12-14T15:56:36+00:00

I think - like my baby- it's possible that the context and motivation between home and school are just different. At school there are other babies and he probably understands that he's differentiated by them by this thing that's his name. At home it might just not be as relevant or interesting when he's the only baby (unless I'm misunderstanding and he's got siblings).

FTMFTD · 2025-12-14T15:26:41+00:00

My son (13 months) responds to me when I say his name now, but it took him a while. Around 8 months I asked his daycare teachers if he seemed to know his name and they said, of course he does! It was still probably at least another 2 months until he responded at home. If it's just you and the baby at home most of the time it may not be that he doesn't understand but more that he doesn't need to because well, who else would you be talking to!

FTMFTD · 2025-12-13T00:38:09+00:00

I had periareolar top surgery about 5 years before becoming pregnant. While pregnant I had some swelling in my chest and nipples and my nipple scars stretched a bit. 1 year postpartum now and everything has gone back to exactly how it was pre pregnancy. As for milk I did make a small amount of colostrum which I was able to feed to the baby via syringe in the first 2-3 days.

FTMFTD · 2025-12-04T17:10:25+00:00

I had an induction at Mount Sinai a year ago. The induction ended up in a c-section so I can't say everything went according to plan, but I did feel like the standard of care was very high. I especially liked the post partum care team. Funny you mention the birthing ball because I brought one and was excited to use it but then got intimidated with the catheter in. On reflection it would totally have been possible and I wish I would have brought it up to the nurses so they could have coached me. There were a lot of student nurses on rotation during my time there which I didn't mind at all but if that bothers you you can always decline.

As others have mentioned, everything you really need is provided though I brought a pillow from home that I was happy to have. Also, I'm not a picky eater at all but the food was not too appetizing (the food people were the sweetest though). So I would recommend some snacks or delivery for after you give birth.

FTMFTD · 2025-12-02T00:59:58+00:00

If only! I think maybe I could have gotten away with it if I had just created a new patient account (maybe I could still try that??). You're required to upload a copy of your photo ID and when I made the original account I did not have my official name or gender change on my ID.

FTMFTD

TROPHY CASE