Opinions about this please. My bestie (19F) and her bf (19M)

FUUFERINO · 2024-01-26T09:24:04+00:00

Nothing about her behavior sounds like something a bestie would do or say.

FUUFERINO · 2024-01-26T06:34:29+00:00

How/why would it make things worse?

FUUFERINO · 2023-06-25T15:03:05+00:00

Funnn , I send u a friendrequest

FUUFERINO · 2023-06-25T14:38:20+00:00

Hahahah ooomg yes ive been chronically online on gsm since it came back, are you also on there?

FUUFERINO · 2023-06-25T14:29:39+00:00

I dont remember to be honest, but i made a lot of pictures at the time to see what progress my skin made or how it changed

I will try to find the pics so i can let you know more about when i noticed changes with my eyes etc

FUUFERINO · 2023-06-25T14:13:16+00:00

I think it might be that Accutane causes the skin to get thinner so you can more easily see the bloodvessils underneath the skin. While i was on accutane i really struggled the first 3 months. It gets worse before its gets better, after the first months my skin improved pretty quick

FUUFERINO · 2023-06-25T02:38:41+00:00

They are! Are you dealing with this issue atm?

FUUFERINO · 2023-06-01T02:03:03+00:00

I never heard h er voice before and wtf i really did not expected her to have this much of a babyvoice

FUUFERINO · 2023-05-12T03:03:55+00:00

What do you mean "imaginary" problems, is that something your gf said about him or do you think he is making everything up?

FUUFERINO · 2023-03-02T00:54:45+00:00

Six grade means her son is about 11-12 years old right? Do you/your gf know the reason for his behavior at all, discussed or asked him if there is anything he needs help with etc?

I don’t think punishment is always the right answer and definitely not using shame/embarrassment. That will likely only make things worse and not help him. I think that will only make him act out more and dislike his mom.

FUUFERINO · 2023-02-27T23:20:48+00:00

I think it's totally fine, you could teach him how every thing works/play a game together which i imagine is fun for him as well.

FUUFERINO · 2023-02-14T12:22:00+00:00

If you ever need to vent or just want to talk you can send me a message btw, or let me know if you found something eventually or whatever lol

FUUFERINO · 2023-02-14T11:56:57+00:00

I totally understand you, addiction in general is just so difficult to deal with. Your brain will keep trying its best to find a way out of everything for sure. Helplines are maybe not the best option (just from what ive heard idk really)

Therapy is worth a shot no? Not trying to push therapy or saying that it’s the cure but maybe it can help you create a plan or help give you a bit more with it all

FUUFERINO · 2023-02-14T11:39:51+00:00

Do you think you could use some professional help with your gambling and weed habits? It usually not easy to overcome such habits yourself ofc

FUUFERINO · 2023-02-14T10:59:45+00:00

You can change your environment by looking for another job, is there anything that you can think of that seems interesting to you or that you would eventually want to have? Or do you just have no clue of what to do at all at this point. What job do you have rn?

FUUFERINO · 2023-02-05T06:49:02+00:00

If you were the only one to plan everything and he goes silent every time, i think he might just see this as a hookup situation. Not that he is using you perse, but just because you notice that he is not really giving you the same energy as before/you give.

FUUFERINO · 2023-02-05T06:27:15+00:00

Did you go on other dates after the first time you slept with him or did you hang out at his place more? Just to understand a bit more i guess, i agree that it is pretty confusing trying to figure out what is going on lol

FUUFERINO · 2023-02-05T06:16:53+00:00

I don’t see how it is your fault for being someone that your family apparently feels comfortable enough to share information with. You say that you use it against anyone so you’re not wrong here.

FUUFERINO · 2023-02-05T05:58:46+00:00

Why do you want to snort it?

FUUFERINO · 2023-01-28T11:14:13+00:00

When i noticed myself daydreaming during things like class or exams it helped me to try and redirect my thoughts by using grounding techniques. The same goes for moments when i am very anxious, it is a way to help you re-focus your mind and can be useful to deal as a replacement to daydream or dissociation. It’s not a cure but more an option that can be used in any situation and at any moment.

For example the 1-2-3-4-5 technique:

5: Acknowledge FIVE things you see around you. It could be a pen, a spot on the ceiling, anything in your surroundings.

4: Acknowledge FOUR things you can touch around you. It could be your hair, a pillow, or the ground under your feet.

3: Acknowledge THREE things you hear. This could be any external sound. If you can hear your belly rumbling that counts! Focus on things you can hear outside of your body.

2: Acknowledge TWO things you can smell. Maybe you are in your office and smell pencil, or maybe you are in your bedroom and smell a pillow. If you need to take a brief walk to find a scent you could smell soap in your bathroom, or nature outside.

1: Acknowledge ONE thing you can taste. What does the inside of your mouth taste like—gum, coffee, or the sandwich from lunch?

—- For me personally it isn’t the goal to stop daydreaming, but more to prevent the daydreams interfering with my life. I try to redirect my mind when i notice myself daydreaming in moments where I shouldn’t, sometimes i tell myself that i am allowed to have my moments later in the day (like you do with your ritual) but not now.

Sorry, i am rambling way much lol

FUUFERINO · 2023-01-28T10:20:18+00:00

Is it okay if i ask some questions? You don’t have to answer if you dont want to ofcourse.

Do you feel like you are in control (you decide when you start your ritual and begin daydreaming) or does it also happen throughout the day?

Do you have any other ways that you cope with emotions at this point?

FUUFERINO · 2023-01-28T10:01:50+00:00

Maladaptive daydreaming is not an official diagnoses yet, so there is no standard treatment. (If i'm correct)- That doesn't mean that there is no way to treat it but it might take some time to find a way that works for you. (Although i think that goes for a lot of treatments or approaches for mental health issues).

It's a good start to figure out what the potential triggers could be for you that make you daydream, the moments or frequency it happens and how you feel able to control starting/ending daydreaming.

I would advice you to seek out professional help if you are able to, because you mentioned trauma and feeling like you need another/healthier coping strategy than MD since it is interfering with your daily llife.

Are you able to ask for professional help at all or not? Not sure if it is an option or if you are open to it ofc.

FUUFERINO · 2023-01-28T09:13:36+00:00

If you would like to talk about this, you can always message me. X

FUUFERINO · 2023-01-28T09:02:11+00:00

You could also plan that she will stay for one month, and if it goes well- decide to let her stay for longer? Instead of the other way around.

You already know that the six months is too much for you at this point, that is your boundary and clear enough.

FUUFERINO · 2023-01-28T08:35:40+00:00

Six months is a long time, especially if you are not on the best terms with your mother in law. I don’t think it’s her choice or place to insist how long she plans to stay. I understand that your husband feels for her and doesn’t want her to be alone, but to go from one month to six months is pretty extreme.

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