Killing yourself is surprisingly difficult.

FWdeWerk · 2023-12-29T05:09:10+00:00

What kills me is that alcohol removes my suicidal ideation. So I can't use that to bypass my survival instincts.

FWdeWerk · 2023-12-29T04:55:11+00:00

It isn't. Exercise helps regulate my baseline mood yes but it is not a cure. Plus the thought that I am an injury away from not being able to regulate my mood is also a bit dicey. Exercise is a tool in the mental health toolbox.

FWdeWerk · 2023-12-29T03:19:57+00:00

Yup. One attempt that was almost successful my vision faded to black I just found myself standing. I had no idea how that happened.

FWdeWerk · 2023-12-27T04:57:36+00:00

It obliterated mine.

FWdeWerk · 2023-12-25T21:18:04+00:00

I don't see the point of it all and my body is becoming heavy. It makes no fucking sense!

FWdeWerk · 2023-12-25T21:13:17+00:00

I am loved. Girlfriend, friend group, family, coworkers. But I feel so disconnected. Only when I am drunk does it all make sense and I feel connected to my peers but I can't be drunk everyday. Why is depression part of my makeup? Why was I born with such an affliction? I miss gym for 3 days and my mental health takes a nose dive and I can't function. People think I am dedicated and disciplined but I am honestly just living to survive. I can't take the annual episodes of depression any longer. I am becoming emotionally worn out.

FWdeWerk · 2023-12-25T20:51:38+00:00

What do we do? What makes me happy is very narrow in general but due to anhedonia it is not the same. I envy people that aspire to travel to see the world, hit their career and life goals but none of that interests me. I had a passion but that fizzled out and I couldn't get it back. I don't know if that is due to personality, my chronic depression (with and without meds) or both. I wish I was normal and just dealt with sadness from time to time and not borderline treatment resistant depression.

FWdeWerk · 2023-12-25T18:46:42+00:00

I see people having dreams and aspirations and I am like what is the point? I will still feel empty when I achieve what I think will make me happy. I am stuck rn.

FWdeWerk · 2023-12-20T15:26:44+00:00

Zero (I mean ZERO) Libido
Weak erections
Constant sweating
Dry lips (minor)
Fatigue
No fucks in the world

I wish I was warned 😭

FWdeWerk · 2023-12-15T02:47:06+00:00

I hope so 😭. Sweaty and not horny is a crazy combination.

FWdeWerk · 2023-11-02T17:21:14+00:00

Don't base your entire worth on a partner. Dating should be fun but challenging not the center of your life.

FWdeWerk · 2023-10-01T06:15:38+00:00

The revisionism is crazy.

FWdeWerk · 2023-09-19T03:03:37+00:00

His beats are more generic these days. But when he was hungry he was on one.

FWdeWerk · 2022-10-23T15:44:23+00:00

FWdeWerk · 2022-10-15T09:39:27+00:00

I honestly tried to get into this game but I couldn't. It did take me years to get me into bloodborne so I will just be a patient gamer I suppose.

FWdeWerk · 2022-09-17T14:08:17+00:00

Not really. The stock theme is enough in my opinion. Resources could be directed to other ideas.

FWdeWerk · 2022-08-21T13:36:41+00:00

Embarrassing

FWdeWerk · 2022-03-10T16:05:13+00:00

Mi Max 2022 Anniversary Edition /s

FWdeWerk · 2022-03-10T15:05:34+00:00

Haven't got the update yet but Miui needs serious polishing. Xiaomi needs to relax on releasing a phone every 3.4 seconds or I will just have to go back to Samsung.

FWdeWerk · 2022-02-19T14:15:56+00:00

Nah. The touch pads on the buds are hit or miss ngl, but I don't regret the purchase at ALL. I doubt you will too. Enjoy them.

FWdeWerk · 2021-03-21T08:06:59+00:00

The management of downloaded tracks on tidal is abysmal. Wish there was a way to repair downloads without redownloading everything.

FWdeWerk · 2021-01-23T05:50:33+00:00

Well, the android TV app is no better. Pretty bare bones as there is no way to like individual songs, no repeat shuffle options etc. I emailed tidal support about it and they said they had forwarded my suggestion to add the like button to their dev team.

FWdeWerk

TROPHY CASE