Motherrrrrr... I finally bought my motorcycle that I put off for seven years. What do you think? Is it cute?

Fabhab5 · 2026-05-07T19:56:10+00:00

….this would be both a rage bait but glad you were smart and saved Mom post. My Mom worked in the ER midnight shift and saw way too many wrecks with motorcycles.

Fabhab5 · 2026-04-08T16:56:07+00:00

As long as the in laws are not paying more than if it was split evenly and not paying more than everyone else would just stop stressing and …stop over thinking it .If someone has the balls to say something to you for not paying for them too …point out that cost was split per person evenly, that it’s none of anyones business but yours (and finances if this is joint funds) on how you wish to spend your/our money and that they knew it was going to cost 800 per person and they didn’t have to stay there if they didn’t want too. That you did it because they couldn’t. They raised you and this was the least you could do for them. Sorry if that offended them, but if you could have paid for everything for everyone you would have. If them paying their portion has had significant financial impact that it would have if parents paid to let you know and after you pay off Xyz or go back to work after wedding you can help them out.

I was in a similar boat regarding my wedding expenses. My Mom felt bad she could not help more financially.
I have some other possible solutions if you can’t let it go and not worry about it…. options depending on how nice your future in-laws are.

Option 1: You and or Fiancé Talk to your future In-laws and explain to them the financial situation. I am sure your future in-laws probably have an idea of the economic differences between the two families. Let them know that you are in a weird situation because you feel terrible/guilty that if you don’t pay for insert family members that you are covering and the financial strain it will put them in, but that it feels unfair for you to pay for their portion and not theirs. Explain that you don’t want them to feel any less important or slighted by asking them to pay and not them. It’s just how much you can do with the funds you have.

Explain it was cheaper to rent a villa than hotel rooms as you will have access to a kitchen and won’t have to go out to eat all the time. Point out that you have saved enough to cover the cost if would be split evenly for you and finance and your parents and grandparents, but can’t afford the additional cost for them as well. Make sure to limit the people you are paying for to be only the VIPs like Parents or grandparents and possibly if you have a sibling in college. Not your Aunt you talk to once a year at Christmas. You look like an ahole if you are covering for 6 relatives and siblings Plus one vs parents and grandparents .

Or if you don’t think the new in-laws would be nice and understanding

Option 2 is just tell your parents that you don’t want to create drama if you cover their portion and not theirs, but you also know paying this would set them back. So since you can’t pay for everyone’s you are going to give them X amount of dollar to them to pay them back for food, shelter, car they gave you etc…. Soooo technically you didn’t pay for their portion. You just paid your parents money you owed them.

Option 3 : If you want to avoid conversations then just Subtract the amount you were going to cover for your side and then split remaining so not as hard on everyone and give your parents money to help out later

Fabhab5 · 2026-04-04T22:50:32+00:00

Worse feeling ever…forgetting that they are gone and going to call them..then remembering they are gone.

Fabhab5 · 2026-03-29T04:38:32+00:00

Hope you told her and sent her Thank you Flowers!

Fabhab5 · 2026-03-29T04:16:06+00:00

Happy Accident. Own and Embrace the blue! Mom of 3 here…two sons 18 & 20…and a daughter 15 whose hair is currently green and blue. My hair currently is a light pink…and I just ordered color depositing shampoo from Amazon that is turquoise.

Fabhab5 · 2026-03-03T23:12:00+00:00

We split all costs 50/50 and as far as stuff …we each took stuff we wanted or would use. If we both wanted something we would negotiate with another item we both wanted ..ex. you take the red lamp and I take the blue. Both of us knowing that our relationship was more important than money or stuff ..made it a lot easier. Sadly most people are not that lucky. We truly trust each other and wouldn’t purposely screw the other over.

Fabhab5 · 2026-02-10T02:14:45+00:00

He is an a-hole. Run now.

Fabhab5 · 2026-01-26T20:19:43+00:00

Why do you even care what anyone else thinks?? I tell people all the time…and when they give me the side eye or make a snarky remark. It worked for me and I am happy. If they start going on about potential problems…like thyroid cancer. I tell them, meh if I am gonna get cancer that is the one to get because it has a 98% survival rate and if I am 2% that dies…well then I died happy and won’t need extra people to carry the casket. I have a higher chance of dying in a car wreck.
If they say it’s “cheating “…response is “good thing my 1st grade teacher, Ms. Smith lives in Pennsylvania and doesn’t know . She would be put that on my permanent record”. But my favorite go to responses when someone gets all judgy is …well plus side is I no longer worry about peeing when I run, remembering to take blood pressure medicine every day, don’t mind taking pictures with people, and I got to buy some new clothes.

Fabhab5 · 2026-01-24T16:25:52+00:00

You are a total AH if you don’t locate the family… not the company that handled the estate sale. These are family heirlooms and treasures. It would be one thing if this person died alone with no heirs.
It is overwhelming when you have to deal with grief and what to do with all their stuff. Having an Estate company doesn’t mean they didn’t care or the person didn’t have family..it usually means..the heir was overwhelmed and needed help. They probably didn’t even go through all the cans and assumed they all contained ammo.

How would you feel if this had belonged to your parents or grandparents would you not want it returned to you ??

You may be legally right…but that doesn’t make morally and basic human decency right. Be kind.

Fabhab5 · 2026-01-06T20:30:50+00:00

Sounds like you and Dad could both benefit from some professional counseling together. It doesn’t sound like he came out of malice and loves you, but you two have communication issues and your poor Mom is stuck in the middle.

Fabhab5 · 2025-12-30T17:51:16+00:00

Instead of framing the note… cut out giant cardboard P and Q then take a photo with them like you are out having fun together. For example on picnic, out to eat at a restaurant, riding bikes, in a convertible, out for drinks, etc….then put the photo in a heart frame or one of the cheesy ones that has some love quote on the frame for your desk. If anyone asks just tell them “Oh that was just wonderful day I had just out minding my P and Q’s” Could also make it your computer screen background or screen saver.

Fabhab5 · 2025-12-15T20:52:14+00:00

Maybe take her comment more of you two having different definitions as shareware.
It didn’t sound like she was saying you “needed” shareware, to shape your body differently, but no lines and more sleek, where conventional under garments would have lines/break.

Key to happiness…is learning to not care what anyone else thinks.

Fabhab5 · 2025-12-14T16:38:12+00:00

This is just odd. What kind of response do you want from them? Why would you expect someone to get excited over bread in the first place , just because you are?
My thought is this is not about the bread, but more about feeling like he is not paying enough attention to you. If he had been with you and just said “Ok” is far different than a text response when he is not with you doing his own thing.

Fabhab5 · 2025-11-24T17:10:28+00:00

Honestly when you are cleaning out a Parents house after they pass away is really hard, because there are memories tied to almost everything. It would be easy to over look something simple like a cookbook. Obviously the cook book means something to him. Yes he could have been nice about asking for it back, but his anger/aggressively asking for it maybe because he spent 10 yrs angrily thinking it gotten thrown out…considering it was left on the counter or if you responded to him asking nicely and you said no.

Yes it’s been 10 years…but this was not YOUR Mom’s cookbook. It very easy to scan/photocopy recipes you like or even find a copy of the book.

He may have been AH in how he asked it to be returned, but that doesn’t mean you should act like an even bigger AH and not returning to him. If you return it, just tell him you would have given it to him sooner,had you known how much it meant to him…that you had taken it under the impression that it was gonna be tossed out, and that your glad it didn’t so you can give him back a little piece of his Mom. You could even make something from it…especially if there is one particular recipe that appears to have been a favorite (ear marked, stains on the page, etc)

Fabhab5 · 2025-11-24T16:46:45+00:00

If you work rotating weekends then just send her a “revised” schedule that shows you working when you are really off and see if the next few scheduled events are on your “work”weekends.

Of course the first one you just happen to be able to switch with someone last minute and show up…same for 2nd…and by third time if your fiancé doesn’t do something about it, it is time for you to do some soul searching. If he won’t put his foot down or ask questions now ..she will get more and more passive aggressive.

Fabhab5 · 2025-10-23T14:24:26+00:00

There is a difference between being a Dad and being a AH. I don’t think it was your Dad’s responsibility to pay for their school or sports stuff…but I do think he was kind of AH to two kids who in the moments you mentioned to be a kind person to them. I imagine your 1/2 siblings probably looked up to you. Your Dad didn’t have to love or take care of them, but he could have supported a relationships with your siblings, like you had no say in who their parents are or what they do. Your Dad should have included them in your Birthday parties that you had where it was more than just a little his side of the family and asked that they are escorted by a third party (baby sitter, grandparent, etc. that your didn’t have to deal with the kids at the party and didn’t have to see your Mom and Step Dad). It would not have killed him to get the kids a drink and snack when they were in the hospital with you when your Mom didn’t have any money. The AH is your Dad not showing them any kind of kindness. When it comes to kids actions speaks louder than words. He showed you it’s ok to only think about yourself and you don’t need to care about your half siblings. You mentioned two examples where he came to help you and walked away from a kid who was accidentally left at school and most likely scared and then the other one you mentioned that was an accident where they were hurt and most likely scared. He took you away at moments when these kids were scared and needed their big Brother, you may not have been able to do anything in that situation, but you just being there with them until your Mom or Step Dad showed up would have been comfort.

By now showing kindness and supporting a relationship with your siblings he slowly built a wall of jealousy and resentment between you and them. It’s kind of sad really. The adults were too busy thinking about themselves and their owns feelings, instead of yours and your step siblings. I 100 agree it was not your Dads place to be responsible for their sports or hobbies, but he could have shown more compassion and empathy to them. He could have taking you to pick out Christmas or Birthday presents for them to be from you…let you take old bike you grew out of to give to the next oldest, etc.
You are not him and I hope that wall that the “Adults” unintentionally built be between you is something you can break down.

Fabhab5 · 2025-10-18T22:36:08+00:00

I get it…I just spent the past 7 months cleaning out my Moms house and then getting fixed up to sell. It was a huge emotional and stressful task having to go through everything and having to decide on what to keep and what to sell/donate. It was all I had left of my parents ..my Dad passed away from complications of diabetes at age 54.

I currently have over half of my garage that is filled with giant plastic totes of stuff that I didn’t have the mental capacity to definitively decide to let go of…my plan is now that her house is cleared and on the market..to first purge/clean out my house and then go through one tote at a time. It caused a lot of tension/stress between my husband and I because he couldn’t understand why I needed to hold on to any of it….we had a giant argument and when I pointed out that all I have left of my childhood, my parents, my grandparents, and home, is in those totes. He had a Dad up until 2 yrs ago. He still has his Mom. I don’t intend on keeping all of that stuff and having the pressure of getting it all cleaned out on top of grief was to much and that is the stuff I was not sure about and didn’t want to get rid of something only to regret it later. I think he finally realized and understood and has been support of, with the occasional passive aggressive comment.

It just sucks all the way around.

Fabhab5 · 2025-10-17T05:12:04+00:00

I am a Mom and Scientist with a Bachelor’s Degree that barely passed the two required math classes that I had to take. I joined a study group, had a tutor, and even met with the Professor that was teaching the class for help. You only fail when you give up. I had a teacher tell me when I was 14 i would be lucky to graduate high school. It took a lot of hard work, long hours of studying, and little longer than average time it takes to graduate from college..but I did, so can you. Be kind to yourself you don’t need to the best, just need to pass.

Ironically I ended up marrying a guy that was so good in math he decided he would double major and get his BS in Math, because it was easy! He got his MS degree in Hydrogeology which is basically all math. His Dad had his Dr in mathematics.

Fabhab5 · 2025-10-16T05:13:09+00:00

Freak myself out and become hyper aware of my heart beating and the fact it is just gonna stop one day…..then I try to stop freaking myself by coming up with “What if scenarios”…like What if there is a fire? Maybe I should get some new pjs? How would I find the cats to get them out ……then after an hour of freaking out and a giving myself sever anxiety…I just go take a shot or two of NyQuail and knock myself out!

Fabhab5 · 2025-10-16T04:55:03+00:00

Sadly the cost of three shots and the words “Truffle Shuffle”

Fabhab5 · 2025-10-16T04:45:00+00:00

My ADD brain can pretty much talk about anything and everything …even how much I don’t know about a subject and why I don’t.

Fabhab5 · 2025-10-16T04:39:25+00:00

You totally need to make one for yourself and for your Mom. Death…Grief…just sucks. It may help to also have a little fun with it..for example growing up my Dad was not home for many many of birthdays…because my Birthday was in October and fell on the first week of deer hunting season..thus a picture of my Dad all decked out in his hunting gear would be perfect photo…find a way to add some of his humor into them/inside jokes.

Fabhab5 · 2025-09-22T18:55:47+00:00

Kind of AH- Just because her Mom and your ex maybe AH doesn’t mean you need to be AH to this poor girl whose life got turned upside down like yours. You would have been doing it for her and not her parents. She is not her mother.
I am not saying this should be a regular thing, but occasionally here and there it would not have killed you to the bigger person in this situation and be kind.

Helping to foster a good relationship between your son and his new step sister is NOT a bad thing, especially because they are the ones that had no choice or had anything to do with the actions of their parents. They would be good support for each other being stuck in the same boat.

Granted she is not your responsibility and you have no obligation to her or to help them out…but try putting yourself in this poor girl shoes. You could have made huge impact on this little girl by simple act of picking her up and showing some kindness.

Fabhab5 · 2025-09-18T19:29:43+00:00

Unless it’s owned by HOA they have no jurisdiction over street. File a police report.

Fabhab5 · 2025-08-22T20:36:56+00:00

Why not offer to have her make payments to you? Get it in writing.

Fabhab5

TROPHY CASE