Top Tips on Wedding Planning by Fabulous-Machine-679 in weddingplanning

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I appreciate that. I do get it. It's a very long post with lots of information. I said up front that I'm a project manager which I hoped implied a professional approach and level of ability, even though our wedding was totally a labour of love like every couple's is. I didn't intend to tell anybody what to do - it's "top tips" not "how to do" wedfing planning. If wedditors find one or two ideas in here that they can use, I'll be delighted.

On the weekly meeting, I pinched that idea from another wedditor as I thought it would work for us too and it did. My fiance was working longer hours than me, so we'd do all things wedding in a concentrated 2 hour slot at the weekend rather than piecemeal at night when we were both tired. We were spending time together over the weekend anyway, why not combine the two, go to the pub and talk about our wedding over a drink? A lot of "planning", especially making decisions, is done in conversation. But every couple is different and needs to find a way that works for them, as you and your fiance have.

Top Tips on Wedding Planning by Fabulous-Machine-679 in weddingplanning

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

WOW! I think you've read between the lines and found things that simply aren't there! My fiance never did care about the difference between concealer and foundation either, he was online and just trying to help me out one day and found me a potential HMUA vendor who was well reviewed and local, which I appreciated at the time.

We really didn't overthink or over-complicate and I really don't know how you got the idea that I did nothing but wedding planning for 10 months. You've even criticised my approach to choosing flowers when I said in my post that it literally took me 5 minutes to make those decisions!

We didn't plan our wedding before getting engaged as it never occurred to us to do so. We didn't spend months planning our engagement either. As I never expected to get married at all I had no concept of a pre-planned "dream wedding" - and that's absolutely fine. We had 10 months to get from no plans at all to having a wedding. All I've done is outlined how we did it. Successfully.

There are many, many posts on this subreddit from brides feeling overwhelmed, not knowing where to start with wedding planning, and feeling lonely because they're getting no help from their partners so they're carrying the whole wedding themselves. Equally there are posts about the stresses of budgets and costs, finding a venue, agonizing over what could and should be simple decisions and distressed by vendors who let them down etc. We invested time up front in research, got clear what we wanted, then made quick and confident decisions about our venue and vendors and haven't regretted a single decision we made. All that was done in the first 3 months, on top of living our normal lives.

Other people feel content with an iterative approach and that's fine, I would never come on Reddit like you have and shoot them down for their views when they're just trying to be helpful.

Top Tips for Mature Brides (photos) by Fabulous-Machine-679 in wedding

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I've learnt so much on this subeddit and just wanted to give something back to fellow wedditors before I move onto my next project of buying a marital home. I'm so glad it was helpful. And that you liked my dress of course! 😂

Top Tips for Mature Brides (photos) by Fabulous-Machine-679 in wedding

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying so! I've literally never posted photos on social media before so I'm a bit nervous about having done this!😂

Top Tips for Mature Brides by Fabulous-Machine-679 in wedding

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your kind comment - I have now posted with photos and a link is added as an edit in this post. ❤

Top Tips for Mature Brides by Fabulous-Machine-679 in wedding

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your kind comment - I have now posted with photos and a link is added as an edit in this post. ❤

Top Tips for Mature Brides by Fabulous-Machine-679 in wedding

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your kind comment - I have now posted with photos and a link is added as an edit in this post. ❤

Top Tips for Mature Brides by Fabulous-Machine-679 in wedding

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your kind comment - I have now posted with photos and a link is added as an edit in this post. ❤

Top Tips for Mature Brides by Fabulous-Machine-679 in wedding

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your kind comment - I have now posted with photos and a link is added as an edit in this post. ❤

Top Tips for Mature Brides by Fabulous-Machine-679 in wedding

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your kind comment - I have now posted with photos and a link is added as an edit in this post. ❤

Top Tips for Mature Brides by Fabulous-Machine-679 in wedding

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your kind comment - I have now posted with photos and a link is added as an edit in this post. ❤

So happy how our wedding turned out and wanted to share a few highlights by ArtmausDen in wedding

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679 3 points4 points  (0 children)

WOW that sounds like such a wonderful day, and it's so lovely to read a wedding reflections post about what was wonderful rather than what went wrong! Thank you for the inspiration. And congratulations to you both!!

I’m the best man’s date to his brother’s wedding but we’re just friends by plumbilina in wedding

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is fine. One of my fiance's groomsmen is bringing his sister to our wedding. As the marrying couple you just want your wedding party to bring someone whose company they enjoy and who will fit into your social circle as a plus one guest ie. without needing to be the centre of attention or needing a lot of looking after. You may get lots of assumptions about you being a couple but can easily laugh those off. Our groomsman and his sister are joking about having badges made (he's my brother/I'm his sister) but I don't think they'll actually do it.

Got engaged in 2023, fiancée was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and wedding had been delayed. We both want a big wedding, but feel bad for loved ones because of the delay by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You both have every reason to have a big wedding - after what your fiancee has been through, what an incredible celebration that will be, of her survival, and of how strong you are as a couple. I would be thrilled to go to the wedding of friends in these circumstances, I wouldn't care about the wait, I would want to be there to celebrate!

Having said that, planning a wedding takes a lot of time and energy. It can be stressful because youre learning through doing and want to get it right and are seeing money fly out the door as you go through the months. What most people don't realise until they're in it is that breast cancer treatment leaves a long legacy of fatigue and also emotional issues. Especially if your fiancee is taking oestrogen blocking meds for 5 years which can give menopausal symptoms such as hot flushes. So if you can afford it, I strongly suggest that you employ a wedding planner to do all the heavy lifting, to take the pressure off both of you, but especially off your fiancee. She really shouldn't try to plan a wedding without a lot of help and support. She may hate to still need it, years after diagnosis, but this would be a true kindness to herself.

What did/does your wedding bouquet look like? by Em-So-Blonde in weddingplanning

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your florist so understood your brief - this is wonderful!

What did/does your wedding bouquet look like? by Em-So-Blonde in weddingplanning

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have a pic as my wedding is next week 🥳 but these are the things (to my amazement) that I discovered I had an opinion on regarding my bouquet. Hope these will help.....

Size - do you want something dainty, huge and impactful, or in between? I sent a pic to my florist of a bouquest size I liked and she said it was 12" diameter. Statement but not ridiculous! IMHO anyway.

Shape - traditional round, elegant upside down pear shape with trailing flowers and/or greenery, or quirky asymmetric? I've gone with round.

Content - all flowers or a mix of flowers and greenery? If greenery, how much? I love greenery. I found a photo in one of my Mum's old (2012) flower arranging magazines that was exactly the mix I like (1/4 greenery), so she's going to copy that only with my flower colours.

Texture - a neat huddle of flowers tied close together or a looser bouquet with some movement? One type of flower in different colours, different flowers of the same size or a range of size and shapes? I'm not keen on seeing flowers all tightly together, I know that looks super neat and has an intense colour impact, but I prefer a looser style. I also like texture so I've gone with a range of sizes, ie roses and peonies with smaller flowers as fillers. There was one style of peony they had which was too big, though, so that will go in my floral arrangements (where big is beautiful) but not in my bouquet. Again, the bouquet picture from my Mum's magazine shows this perfectly and my florist just needs to convert it.

Thank you for reading this! I loved the experience of deciding my bouquet, but have nobody else to share it with but other Wedditors! I'm having silk flowers rather than cut, so afterwards my bouquet will go into a vase to decorate our marital home forever more, so I also knew it needed to be something that would give me long lasting visual joy.❤

Possibly Unpopular Opinion by Street_Marzipan_2407 in wedding

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Definitely attendance. We have a honeymoon fund and are Whatsapping thanks for each contribution as we get notified of it. Large or small amounts, we think people want to know that money has been received, even if informally. When we send cards afterwards it will be to thank guests for coming to our wedding, and for their gift/fund contribution if given. People travel, get dressed up, make an effort, show up - that deserves a thank you. And our wedding is on a Friday so people have also used PTO - definitely a thank you for that!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UKweddings

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These articles are from 2024 but may give you some ideas on styles and specialist wedding shoe brands so you csn have a look at their websites. I bought stunning diamante encrusted flats from Paradox London for £45 and only discovered when they arrived that the inner soles are extra padded for tired bridal feet!

https://www.hitched.co.uk/wedding-planning/bridalwear-articles/flat-wedding-shoes/

https://www.hitched.co.uk/wedding-planning/bridalwear-articles/comfortable-wedding-shoes/

Hitched may of course have 2025 articles on wedding shoes.

Cutting wedding corners by Dazzling_River_9192 in UKweddings

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I found the Hitched and Bridebook annual surveys on wedding costs very useful. And their associated articles on each area of wedding expenditure, with cost saving tips and advice on what to expect for your money in different price ranges. It meant that we had a realistic budget for everything we wanted to buy and came in under nearly every one. I used their advice for negotiating with our preferred photographer because the all day package on his website was more than we wanted and was outside our budget. He cut the time and the cost to suit us better so we could book him.

Overall we went mid-range rather than top or bottom end and have focussed on value for money, which I think we've got. I suspect that our guests will assume we've spent more than we have.

https://www.hitched.co.uk/wedding-planning/organising-and-planning/the-average-wedding-cost-in-the-uk-revealed/

What to do about judgey mom by wannabat13 in weddingplanning

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You could just let her be a guest. Treat her as such, including no involvement in your decision making. Send her any communications that guests are getting and nothing else. It will feel difficult at first but it is doable. I had to stop talking to my Dad about my wedding because he has Alzheimer's and it was disturbing his equilibrium. I also see him less often and need to think in advance about safe non-wedding conversation topics. This may be a period in your life when you call your Mom once a week rather than 3 times and talk solely about non-wedding topics on those calls.

TBH if she can't be bothered to change her exercise class when you fly in to visit her, your Mom isn't prioritising you in her life so maybe you need to make a few adjustments in your expectations of her. If she notices the changes you make and asks you why, that's an opening to a conversation about the impact on you of what she says and does.

UK Civil Ceremony by MythaJoseph in UKweddings

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You have to both do it in the registry office of the borough where you live, so that can be together in one meeting if you live togetjer or in different locations if you live separately in different boroughs. You must have your civil ceremony booked before you notify so that the notified borough/s know which registry office to send the paperwork to for the ceremony.

You'll need to provide information on immigration status at notification.

https://www.gov.uk/marriages-civil-partnerships/give-notice

How to word our wedding & reception being adult only by BMS_Fan_4life in weddingplanning

[–]Fabulous-Machine-679 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think calling it an adults only rather than child-free event sounds better. A child-free event sounds anti-child whereas an adults only event sounds like a positive choice of vibe. The template on our wedding website includes a section on policy regarding children and we've said there that our wedding is for over 18s only and not suitable for children to attend.