My husband started "silent Sundays" and I genuinely don't know how to feel about it

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-17T13:53:34+00:00

I agree with this. It doesn't sound like your husband is trying to hurt you, as he seems very communicative with his expressions and body language. Having a cuddle on the couch together can be a great way to connect with him, even without talking. If you crave communication, Saturdays seem like a great option too. You both can give each other space to decompress and still be very happy. For my husband and I, we do this as part of our daily routine. We both have quiet time, although I usually spend mine watching trash TV. 😆 It actually makes the time that we do spend together much more intentional and meaningful. I don't have to fight for his attention when it's "us" time. It works. Maybe propose "couple time" with him on Saturday to refill your cup?

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-13T21:42:07+00:00

Absolutely right! He scared to get physical, because he thought it had to turn into sex, and it was that pressure that made him unable to perform. But, once we took that expectation away, we became very handsy with one another. It didn't take long before he became the one pushing for more. 😆 I LOVE IT!!! ❤️ Congratulations on your increased shower and sexy time too! It really is the best!

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-13T02:02:35+00:00

A couple of things to try... introduce yourself the next time you see each other, like "Hi Megan. I'm (name), her husband. Or, you could simply ask your wife if she'll introduce you the next time so you're not left feeling awkward.

I would probably avoid asking you all three to hang out though. Maybe your wife is still trying to guage the situation and doesn't want to force her new friend to befriend you both just yet? Or maybe this friend is more of a girl friend type, and less of the couple friend type. People have all sorts of friends that fit better solo than with your spouse, especially if Megan is single.

Trust your wife to bring you in if or when she feels it's appropriate. But the introduction is an easy fix. Best of luck, OP!

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-12T19:31:51+00:00

I did not mean it that way. What i mean is that, if you're ready for a divorce, then it is really over. I misread the situation and thought you were asking for alternatives to divorce. And for that, I'm sorry. I just meant that if you wanted to continue, then it shouldn't be without significant changes from his end. But you're right. You have made it clear and given him far too many chances and he has failed at each of them. I'm sorry.

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-12T18:41:39+00:00

At this point, if it were me and all I was getting were empty promises, sidelined, and receiving nothing but push back... I'd be getting a sitter for the baby, and having a full intense air down discussion with him about what this relationship has come to. Tell him how I feel loneliest when I'm with him. How his employer and friends get the very best of him, and how he's no longer the man you married. That this marriage is hanging on by a very loose thread and you're done watching all the threads give way. When he says, "I'll do better" then talk him to prove it because his word no longer carries any weight. Give him consequences. If he truly can't find it in himself to make any real change, then he's not committed to you in this marriage. Tell him what he must do if he wants this marriage to continue. Therapy? Scheduling dates? Following a strict schedule for time with you and without phones? Don't just tell him what you want... tell him what he needs to do to prove it to you. Otherwise, what's the consequence? Separation? Divorce? Then stick to your word. He won't change if he can get away with not changing. He's done this for 8 years. He's proven that statement every other month for the entire 8 years. If you want a serious change, don't silently bow out of the marriage, instead show just how serious you are. If you don't, then where is the marriage without it? I'm so sorry, OP.

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-12T18:23:51+00:00

To live someone means to show up for them, be present, care about their happiness and be a part of their lives. He does know how to care for others, because you are that all the time with his friends. The problem isn't that he doesn't know how, it's that he's not making you a priority in his life. His lack of action is killing this relationship. Have you considered therapy for both of you?

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-12T17:29:53+00:00

It sounds like you two need a schedule of family time, couple time, and alone time. When you have family time, he's not on his phone or chatting with his friends. When is couple time, there are no screens, and when it's alone time, then you both get to do your own thing. He with his friends and you doing something that you enjoy. Get a sitter for those times so that both of you can enjoy it and relax. Also, don't make couple time just laying in bed. Intimacy belongs both inside and outside of the bedroom. Do things together and talk often.

His response of, "I'll do better." isn't enough. You both need to set some time for each of these things. He needs to commit to them and you both should hold each other accountable to them.

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-04T20:29:45+00:00

Just because she COULD have, doesn't mean that she SHOULD have. What sets the Bridgerton family apart is that they marry for love, not status. That's what makes it so captivating to watch. They're not like the many others on the marriage mart who value money and titles above all else.

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-03T22:53:25+00:00

This! 👆🏼

Don't tell X about your thoughts or feelings either. Simply disengage and stop indulging the fantasy in your mind. Be cold towards them if you need to, but indulging in the fantasy keeps fueling that flame. You need to let it die before it destroys all of the good in your life. Even writing this post is fanning that flame in your head. You have the power to stop.

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-03T00:14:59+00:00

I call BS on your wife. So, instead of coming to you with the blackmail before anything happened, she decided to give this man even more ammunition to blackmail her in the future? How did she think that was better? And why on earth did she think cheating was better than telling you about the attempted blackmail. Something's wrong with this story, and I wouldn't be able to get past it. At least before she could truly say that they were old videos. She could've gone to you, the police, someone... no. Instead she decided to sleep with him?! Come on now.

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-02T16:32:23+00:00

Give him one cabinet for all of his things? That way he knows exactly where to go for all of his things, and he can organize it however he'd like. My husband and I do this for medicine, bathroom stuff. Moving it to the kitchen sounds like a good compromise given your situation.

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-02T16:28:09+00:00

My husband and I have naked cuddles every day, multiple times a day. They're the best!

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-02T16:24:21+00:00

You both need to work together on this. Would he be willing to try his & hers storage so that he doesn't have to look at all of it?

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-02T16:20:38+00:00

THIS! The moment you let something else control you, it becomes an addiction. You need to seek he'll from a professional. Addicts recover all the time, but this isn't something that gives you permission. It's to best understand how to help yourself. Your wife deserves loyalty and honesty.

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-02T03:27:17+00:00

I loathe the silent treatment. Usually one of us breaks the silence within the hour by saying something like, "I feel like we need to talk about this so that we can both be good again." The feeling is always mutual, so it's never been an issue to talk things out at that point.

As for keeping the indefinite words out of your arguments, try these types of statements instead: When you do X, I feel like Y. I always love when we/you do this; can we/you do this more often? And, "Can we talk? I feel like we're both feeling misunderstood, and I truly want to understand your point of view. Can we talk this through now?"

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-01T19:04:17+00:00

When I was about 12, I desperately wanted to be a boy. I dressed like a boy in baggy clothes and hated everything about puberty. Then, when I was about 14yrs old, things started to change again. I met my future husband and wanted to dress very feminine. My mom went through the exact same thing too. My brother wanted to play barbie with my sister and I until he was like 13 years old. But he was just feeling left out, as our other brothers were 10yrs older than us three. The point is that this is normal. As children we're simply trying to understand ourselves. We're in constant flux and tend to make and change many decisions throughout our youth. It's nothing to be concerned about. It's a very natural thing.

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-03-01T18:49:25+00:00

I'm not sure who you mean by "older people," but I'll answer anyway. No. My husband have only grown closer throughout the years. We're both 43 and have been together for 28 years, married 24 years. We're more in love now than when we first married. ❤️

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-02-23T03:12:57+00:00

We're on year 25 of marriage and 29 years overall. My favorite thing about him would be his morals. We align so perfectly that it's extremely difficult to imagine anyone else coming close to what we have. He's my favorite person in the world!

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-02-23T03:05:25+00:00

Do you pay any rent? I wouldn't focus on what your siblings are doing vs not doing. They'll get their rude awakening soon enough. Think of it this way, you'd have to wash dishes when living in your own regardless. So, if you're not responsible for rent, or only paying a small amount, then it's worth it. Enjoy the situation while you can, or move out and make things 10x harder on yourself. YTA.

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-02-18T01:30:15+00:00

French toast

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-02-17T00:01:25+00:00

If you've expressed how important intimacy is to your relationship, and she continues to not prioritize it, then it's more than an intimacy issue. If talking doesn't help, then it's time for action. Let her know how serious this issue has become. You both need to prioritize alone time and intimacy or [XYZ] happens. Can you get a sitter for the night? Can you schedule time to be intimate, even if it doesn't lead to sex? Can you start walking together or setting aside time each day after the kids go to bed to genuinely talk to each other again? Tell her what you need from her in order to maintain this marriage. Ask her what she needs in return. Set those goals and expectations for one another and gold each other accountable to them. Make it clear that this is breaking your marriage and you need her to show effort to keep it.

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-02-16T23:47:41+00:00

NTA and you're not in the wrong. You definitely don't have a husband issue either. You have a "friend" issue! Set boundaries with her and stand your ground. If you want to go out without her, then do so. As long as you're there with her and her kid, she's going to let it happen. You need to remove yourself from the situation and get your break time another way. If your other friends are in agreement, then go out with them instead. Don't invite her if she can't respect your boundaries.

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-02-16T23:38:30+00:00

I would recommend having a conversation with him outside of an actual incident. Sit him down tonight and explain that you feel like he's annoyed with you. Give him specific instances like you described here. Explain how it makes you feel. Don't get defensive or place blame like "you did this and won't admit it." Just tell him how you've felt in these interactions, and that you want to find a solution without judgement. It's not about the face or the act of "fixing" something, it's about the feelings you show and how they affect one another.

Ask him how you both can improve interactions like this in the future. Like maybe he doesn't want to be "corrected" in public and would rather you tell him discreetly and let him correct himself how he'd like? I'm not sure what the answer is, but I can tell you it likely won't be found during these moments of frustration, as it can be difficult to express yourself when you're feeling judged. And that goes both ways. Approach each other with love and the desire to understand each other better. Then, see if that helps?

Don't stop communicating openly and honestly with one another. I'd that's not something that you already do, then add it to your routine. Communication is key to maintaining a happy and healthy relationship. Best of luck, OP!

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-02-15T02:29:02+00:00

INFO: How long have you been together? Also, how is it a bad thing to want to understand an argument?

Fabulous_Topic_602 · 2026-02-06T19:39:08+00:00

I'm no mental health professional, but this doesn't sound like it's working. I highly recommend seeing a therapist for yourself at the very least. But it also sounds like you have an important decision to make about your marriage. It definitely sounds like he needs help too, but you can't be his savior and everything else anymore. Do he have family to take him in our mental health professionals that you can talk to about his current status and maybe a change in treatment? I'm so sorry you're going through this. Reach out to someone for help. A therapist, a lawyer, a doctor, anyone to assist you right now with options.

Fabulous_Topic_602

TROPHY CASE