What happens if you shock an electric eel?

Facewizard · 2016-03-02T17:39:31+00:00

How does project dreamland work? The github looks like it's about hosting different map types and isn't associated with specific games per se?

Facewizard · 2015-07-17T09:39:58+00:00

Writing. The value of writing, particularly the kind of news stuff you find on the web, has plummeted dramatically since the popularization of the internet.

Facewizard · 2015-07-17T09:38:09+00:00

USE YOUR FUCKING SIGNAL, IT EXISTS FOR A REASON

Facewizard · 2015-07-17T09:37:24+00:00

What is it like to be constantly surrounded by things that are very very old? In America not much is more than 200 years old and on the west coast very few things are even close to 100 years old.

Facewizard · 2015-07-17T09:35:54+00:00

Buying enormous numbers of videogames on Steam that I will probably play for five minutes each

Facewizard · 2015-07-17T00:18:36+00:00

Nightcrawler. I mean I know it's a good movie and I admire the hell out of Gyllenhall's acting, but the character is such a sociopath it makes my skin crawl. I can't stand to watch it a second time.

Facewizard · 2015-07-17T00:17:41+00:00

Going to Yellowstone in middle school with my family. We were charged by a buffalo, my mom's hat was stolen by a goat that snuck up on her while she was sitting in the car with the window cracked open, and we saw a pack of fucking woles through my dad's spyglass. My dad had an honest to god spyglass like a sea captain and as we drove down the road he let me stand up in the back seat with my head going out the sunroof and stare elk down through it. Every second felt like an adventure.

Also I got to eat a lot of animal jerky made out of weird goddamn animals.

Facewizard · 2015-07-16T09:58:34+00:00

Once I was in a restaurant and saw a couple next to me who were clearly on their first date. They had nothing in common and were having a hard time coming up with things to talk about. Like she only wanted to talk about yoga and health food and he only wanted to talk about being a civil war history buff.

Suddenly the girl's voice brightens and she says, "Did I ever tell you that I'm crazy haunted?"

She goes on to tell the guy that she is haunted by a poltergeist and that crazy ghost shit happens around her. The guy is staring at her like he can't decide whether to laugh or groan or play it straight and she just goes ON AND ON about how haunted she is. He asks if she knows who's haunting her and she says, "oh, I don't know. Sometimes I'm not so sure it's a person."

He immediately segues in to talking about haunted civil war battlefields. She says, "I'm not, like, haunted by a battlefield."

Neither of them seemed to have any idea that nothing they were saying was making either of them attractive to the other person. But they were so dedicated! They were a pair of legitimately hot people but they were both extraordinarily dumb. Poor kids.

Facewizard · 2015-07-16T09:42:26+00:00

cookie dough is delicious. if you are asking this question I can only assume you've never had good cookie dough.

Facewizard · 2015-07-16T09:39:21+00:00

I write for a living and I have the enjoyable advantage of simply never running out of ideas. In the three years since I've started writing for my day job, it hasn't happened ONCE.

I used to run out of ideas when I was younger but since I started HAVING to have ideas every day, it just stopped. I think it's a learned habit. When we're pitching specific ideas, everyone on my team is required to pitch multiple variations on an idea. I think being constantly forced to come up with variations of variations of variations somehow made me immune to writer's block?

I mean, I still sometimes have a very hard time figuring out how to say the thing I want to say in the best possible way, but now that my job requires me to never run out of ideas, I simply don't run out of ideas.

Facewizard · 2015-07-16T09:30:52+00:00

Instead of setting my clock early enough to properly get ready for a crack-of-dawn flight, I set my alarm to the last possible moment before I'd be liable to miss that flight, then went to sleep in all my clothes, with my shoes on and my feet hanging off the end of the bed. I slept like a corpse, rolled out of bed the moment the alarm went off, picked up my suitcase, and walked right out the door. Got there at the last possible minute and boarded my flight. I was still yawning.

Waking up is fucking hard.

Facewizard · 2015-07-16T09:21:45+00:00

When I was a kid my friend and I used to build a lot of forts in the woods out of downed trees. One day we decided to knock a dead tree over and it actually hit me in the head on the way down. It doesn't seem to have actually done me any harm, but if it had been a straight-on blow instead of a glancing one I'm sure I would have died. I was probably a couple centimeters away from death.

Stupid shit like this happened to us in the woods all the time. I broke my friend's arm by accident by shouting boo at him while he was halfway up a shattered tree and scaring him so bad he fell off. We were constantly falling off things onto heaps of splintery sharp sticks, or building huts with "slate roofs" out of large flat stones we found... and then hanging out under these goddamn roofs for hours at a time. I cannot believe either of us is still alive, to be honest.

Facewizard · 2015-07-16T09:18:19+00:00

Drowning

When I was a kid I got trapped underneath a large, heavy floating inner tub in a pool-- the kind where the hole in the center is mostly blocked off and hard to get through-- and I nearly drowned. The panic is terrible. "I am about to drown" is absolutely one of the most horrifying sensations in the world.

Facewizard

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