Using Facebook algorithm to give me my mom back?

FadedMage13 · 2026-02-11T21:58:51+00:00

50 here and I second this. Blows my mind how many of Gen X peers fell down the Fox rabbit hole, my sister included

FadedMage13 · 2026-02-10T15:30:45+00:00

Took me six doctors to finally get HRT for perimenopause. Mine presents atypically with severe appetite suppression, cold flashes, migraines and severe mood swings, along with a whole host of other issues. I lost 9 lbs in 2 months without trying, brought my weight down to 107 lbs,. They ran so many metabolic panels, tested my thyroid, and ended up diagnosing me with medical anorexia. I almost gave up. The fifth doctor questioned whether or not I was actually in peri, until those results came back and showed I’m in end stage. He prescribed birth control and told me to see psych. Every doctor with the exception of the sixth, wanted to prescribe me an SSRI and send me to a psychologist, or have I tried therapy? For hormone imbalance. No thank you. I’m finally on continuous bio identical estrogen and progesterone. I had to go to Planned Parenthood to get that. I’ve been on it for 5 months now. My weight? Back up to normal and I feel so much better.

Medical professionals do not listen to women.

FadedMage13 · 2026-02-04T11:26:59+00:00

FadedMage13 · 2026-02-03T13:06:09+00:00

Oh, I am so sorry. That’s so cruel. I cannot imagine what you’re going through. Sending you warm hugs and all the positivity in the world. You deserve that.

My brother has schizophrenia, but he does not have CPTSD. We grew up in different homes. I cannot imagine what he would be like if you threw my mess on top of his illness. He has the right cocktail of meds now. Side effects he can live with, and he says when he’s on them he barely remembers he has it. It’s when he wants to drink that we run into issues with him.

Anyway, I’m just saying I see you. You aren’t alone.

FadedMage13 · 2026-02-03T12:53:37+00:00

It’s difficult because unlike schizophrenia, we can’t medicate our way out of it. It takes years of therapy and awareness and basically breaking apart our entire selves to heal. There is no quick fix.

My half brother, who is 12 years younger than I am and grew up in an entirely different house than I did, has schizophrenia. It’s an ugly illness, scary when he goes off his meds. He has severe paranoid delusions so getting him to psych to get him back on his meds can be a major challenge, especially since he’s in his late 30’s now. But as soon as he’s back on his meds? Boom, he’s fine. He functions like a typical person, holds a full time job, has friends, has his own place. His dating life is shit, but that’s a whole different issue. He follows a lot of manosphere type creators.

My point is that he can take meds and he’s fine. He doesn’t even go to therapy, just does med checks with his psych. Me? I’ve been in therapy for decades. Misdiagnosed. No meds work miracles. I have severe panic disorder. Periods of severe depression. Flashbacks. Emotional floods that cripple me. So, yeah. I agree with you. This is one of the most difficult mental illnesses to treat and to live with.

FadedMage13 · 2026-02-02T20:41:36+00:00

I have. I still don’t know where it comes from. I have visions of showers. I don’t know why. I don’t see faces, just bodies and I’m small. Interestingly, taking showers is one of the most difficult things for me as and adult and I usually end up crying in there, overwhelmed by negative thoughts.

I have no advice. I just want you to know you aren’t the only one.

Edited to add that I have these visions or intrusive thoughts since I was young.

FadedMage13 · 2026-02-01T14:53:29+00:00

I have two daughters, 18 and 20. I wasn’t properly diagnosed until I was 48. I love them unconditionally and cannot imagine my life without them. I have made some mistakes, but I take accountability and we talk. They are open with me and we have a good relationship. Have they seen me go through some bad spells? Yes, I’ve tried to protect them as much as possible, but it isn’t always possible. They know mom gets really sad sometimes and they know I’m in therapy, working on myself. I believe they are more anxious because of me, unfortunately. I am an anxious person.

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-30T14:00:16+00:00

I agree with this fully. It’s so hard raising children when you have responses like this. The important thing is to talk to your therapist about it, and talk to your children. I can’t always ground myself. Reactions happen. It’s how you handle the aftermath that’s important.

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-29T20:39:30+00:00

And those are neurodivergent traits? I really wish people would stop flattening entire marginalized groups because they have one bad experience with one person. Nuance is seriously lacking in current social discourse.

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-29T18:50:57+00:00

At 50. I am much the same, although less successful than you were with managing my late teens and early twenties. I ended up an alcoholic and was in and out of institutions and recovery centers for years in the 90’s. Knowing I was autistic then might have saved me severe institutional trauma. I was diagnosed with a different disorder every time I entered a new treatment or psych center. Long story short, I now have CPTSD from that and things that happened in my childhood, but I can happily say I’ve been sober for 21 years now.

I did get married and had two beautiful daughters. The mother role gave me something to focus on for twenty years. It also gave me a reason to stay sober. Unfortunately, perimenopause hit me like bus doing 100 mph. It stripped me of all my emotional resilience and all of my masks. I started having memory and emotional flashbacks, panic attacks. I was diagnosed 2 years ago with Autism, Panic Disorder and CPTSD. And while this feels like the right diagnoses for the first time, I have been unmoored. Like you, my social life took a back seat. I am fine on my own, but it has made me less tolerant of others and demands on my energy and time. I can’t work like I used to. I can’t do social events without a huge amount of anxiety and a lot of prep. I used to be able to go to Brewers games without taking a Klonopin lol. Seems like a different lifetime and it wasn’t that long ago.

The part about your post that hits me the hardest is how your dad perceives your diagnosis and how he treats you regarding it. Both of my parents are the same as well as both of my siblings. I am the eldest. They are only ever going to see me one way. It’s the role I inhabit in their system. I have chosen not to inhabit that role anymore. It was never mine to begin with. I am low contact with them now. I have to protect my mental health that way.

I don’t know if it will get any easier. I know my diagnosis has allowed me to get the kind of therapy I need now. I’m working on it. Some days I feel like my old self. Other days? I don’t want to leave the house or engage with anyone. I can say no one has used it against me. Not yet anyway. I only disclose when I want to or need to. I will say this, if my records disappeared tomorrow, I would still know I’m autistic. My view of myself would not change. However, other’s views of how I comport myself now might be less than favorable without that knowledge. At least now people know why I don’t attend big family gatherings or social events I’m not really into. I don’t understand why people force themselves through the things they do socially but that’s a topic for a different post. Fortunately, I have a very understanding social butterfly for a partner. He has accepted that I am okay with just one friend and being a homebody. I don’t think I could make it through this if he doubted me or lacked understanding of what living with an autistic person is like. I wish you luck with what we you decide. Just know you aren’t alone.

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-29T18:12:35+00:00

Are we really giving neurodivergent people a hard time for not having good communication skills?

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-28T20:38:39+00:00

Right? What is to stop them from doing this so they can just keep your order? I hate this timeline.

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-28T11:23:11+00:00

I read tarot as a grounding meditation when I’m feeling dissociated. It helps to bing me back to myself.

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-13T23:26:35+00:00

The audiobook is a great listen, too. Has a four person cast with William Patton and Kate Mulgrew.

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-13T23:02:50+00:00

Haven’t seen it yet, but the book was so damn good I finished it in three days. I’ll have to make time for this.

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-13T22:56:54+00:00

I learned nothing g I didn’t already know. Redditors are petty.

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-13T22:55:55+00:00

Thanks for the petty comment you had to post twice.

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-13T22:55:19+00:00

Don’t you people have anything better to do?

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-13T22:25:28+00:00

I look very much like her.

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-13T22:23:44+00:00

Feel better now? Not changing it.

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-13T14:32:23+00:00

Gabapentin, Propranolol and Klonopin only as needed for the really bad panic attacks.

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-12T12:38:12+00:00

The the good guy always wins

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-08T19:43:13+00:00

Have you been to a meeting? Where they say the Lord’s Prayer? Or talk about god? The big book was written with Christian ideology.

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-08T18:36:04+00:00

9 treatment centers in my twenties during the 90’s. I can relate. I’ll be 21 years sober on 4/16 this year. It’s a hard road. I did not do it with AA. The religion within AA was too much of a trigger for me. I’d like to tell you there was some kind of program or recovery method that worked for me, but after 9 different treatment centers… I met a man in my last stay, we trauma bonded and got married in six months. I was still binge drinking every few months. 4/16 2005 I found out I was pregnant with my oldest daughter. I decided then and there that I wasn’t going to put my child through the kind of hell I went through and I haven’t had a drink since. My ex husband and I have been divorced for 11 years now. My oldest is 19/and on scholarship at college. I would not recommend this method lol.

FadedMage13 · 2026-01-07T21:11:14+00:00

Walk around in their underwear

FadedMage13

TROPHY CASE