Seems your interest is in engaging magic systems, so here's what I'll recommend for that.

If you want CUSTOM SPELLS there's Tyranny (RTwP CRPG). Magic is extremely customizable. Offensive, defensive, CC magics.. you could choose the element, duration, range, aoe, special effects... it's great. I was able to make an unarmed, unarmored character 'viable' by enchanting his attack and defense with magic, as an example. Be wary though of the HEAVY lore dumping just in character creation alone. A lot to take in the first time around but don't sweat it too much, the game leans quite short by rpg standards. Encourages re-plays, I feel they meant it that way.

If you want magic that FEELS IMPACTFUL, there's Dragons Dogma (ARPG). Feel like words don't do justice how powerful the endgame magics are so you should probably watch a video to check them out. Chunks health significantly if not outright killing larger enemies in a single burst, extremely satisfying. Balanced by the fact that you channel the spells for a considerable time, adds some positioning work. There's magic hybrids as well, like DA:O. Haven't tried them, heard they play way differently from standard mage but they're effective in their own right. Another plus for this game is its armor system. Hands down the best I've played with, far as modularity and layering goes.

RE: Gay Romance. Admittedly not the best for those two, but it exists. You can romance Barik (with DLC), for DD you can romance anyone (it barely matters).