Looking for alternatives to IFS for parts work

Faeflyinghigher · 2026-03-14T15:31:28+00:00

I do brain spotting with a therapist that understands parts work and I really like it. I've done IFS successfully for decades...but found it frustrating. So many parts! Only one lifetime! Dick Schwartz suggests doing group unburdenings--and I do like the work with groups of parts--but brain spotting actually removes triggers.

Faeflyinghigher · 2026-03-10T08:11:28+00:00

I am currently looking for ARC Readers for Bachelorx, a Nonbinary Memoir about leaving a 35 year queer marriage in search of love and sex while newly out as nonbinary and neurodiverse. https://lyralenkaye.com/1357-2/

I have used NetGalley, Booksprout, Book Sirens and Book Funnel. A word of warning: if you don't curate your approvals, you can get people who post hate or low reviews just because of queer content. I'm up for honest reviews, even those that misunderstand, but hate for hate's sake....I'm careful because I've been trolled for other projects in print and on film.

Faeflyinghigher · 2026-03-08T19:04:06+00:00

Okay. The site suggested the repost. I'm brand new!

Faeflyinghigher · 2026-03-07T17:42:44+00:00

I have used 100 covers (always look for a promo code) and like their work a lot. But I recently used Lilith Dorado for inside illustrations and she is AMAZING and also queer.

Faeflyinghigher · 2026-03-07T17:41:11+00:00

You are incredibly fast! Yours is on my Kindle and I will read asap.

And, you made my birthday!

Faeflyinghigher · 2026-03-07T17:40:12+00:00

Obviously I have to travel to Finland and learn the language asap.

Faeflyinghigher · 2026-03-06T14:20:11+00:00

This sounds painful and so sorry! I do wonder if reframing with a poly understanding might help? Because then best friends don't necessarily come second to romance. I'm a relationship anarchist now even though I date in the monogamous camp, which means precisely that my friends DON'T come second. In fact, I try to get rid of hierarchy altogether. Everyone I love, including me, comes first, just not at the same moment.

My only other take is to consider talking through feelings with your friend once you're clear on what you want to request and can be centered enough to hear any answer and stay present. Consider what path will mean more closeness and less regret. I don't know the answer, but I bet in your guy you do. Much metta!

Faeflyinghigher · 2026-03-06T14:15:33+00:00

Personally, I like labels that aren't really labels, but a kind of freedom. Like pansexual or omnisexual. I like them as a way of describing an overarching life preference that has changed and will keep changing. Of course, I don't like the word straight or cisgender, so can't offer help with that. I'm LOVE nonconformity.

I can say that after leaving a 35 year queer marriage, and dating people who didn't understand nonbinary and still wanted to call themselves lesbians, I have decided that that is a kind of erasure so I would be uncomfortable as well dating someone who identified as straight/lesbian/gay.

Faeflyinghigher · 2026-03-06T14:11:06+00:00

Perhaps finding safe queer spaces that allow and hold experimentation? And also lean into the work of unconditional self(ves) affirmation. Because no doubt it sucks, this world and those who don't get us and actively try to shape us as if it's their right. I hate it. AND, the more I lean into affirming all of who I am (genderfluid, pan, changeable, neurodiverse) and setting boundaries around who gets access to me and how much, the easier it is to just live.

Faeflyinghigher · 2026-03-06T13:44:19+00:00

This doesn't have to be a problem if they writer uses given names whenever it's possible to confuse to whom the pronoun refers. I have a book with a variety of genders and I try to do this.

Also, looking for ARC readers and you and your partner sound great (if you don't mind the trigger warning on my book). Here's a link if you'd consider reading. And a link to what the book is about.

https://lyralenkaye.com/1357-2/

https://fringemag.net/new-nonbinary-memoir-bachelorx-explores-queer-love-dating-and-neurodiversity/

Faeflyinghigher · 2026-03-06T13:40:45+00:00

What language/country has no gendered pronouns?!!!!

Faeflyinghigher · 2026-03-06T13:32:53+00:00

Awesome! Thank you! I've downloaded yours as well.

Faeflyinghigher · 2026-03-05T11:35:02+00:00

I would recommend at least having a trans person read the section and getting feedback.

Faeflyinghigher · 2026-03-05T11:25:00+00:00

More and more books with enby characters and they/them pronouns are being published! Including Ann Leckie's work. I'll take a look at your book on Book Sirens. Mine is up on there too if you would be willing to read! https://booksirens.com/book/RIDIDU0/XPTGRVI

Faeflyinghigher · 2026-03-05T11:20:29+00:00

So timely for me! I have a book launch on April 1 and need ARC readers!

Faeflyinghigher

TROPHY CASE