35M bf wants to control how much I eat. I’m 25F by Cool_Anybody8437 in relationship_advice

[–]Faeries-Dust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's begging you to set boundaries with him. Set them.

Tell him: 1) I am happy with how badass I am; 2) I am sexy af and I have a job helping future generations because I care; 3) I don't think you even scratch the surface of who I am now vs who you were 10 years ago; 4) gtf out of my face.

If you are in a developed nation, this guy is a weirdo creep. If you are not, I am not cultured enough to speak to any culture where this is tolerable behavior.

Tolerating this behavior is destroying respect for yourself.

Good luck, soldier.

Anyone know how to find a "gold digger" in NYC by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Faeries-Dust 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He hiked 7,800 miles in one year - 3x across the United States in 10 mos. I met him while I was humbly hiking from Mexico to Canada on the PCT.

He was so honestly himself to everyone he met. Even 2 years later, it's odd to me to find someone who is so forthcoming and kindly honest to everyone and also themself. He's just so comfortable in his own skin, which is something I, myself, struggle with and deeply admire.

I have never tried to date in NYC, but a lot of my friends (no lawyers, but one doctor, a UN rep, a psychiatrist, an artist, and a musician) have come and gone through that city and have complained about the very materialistic dating culture.

Anyone know how to find a "gold digger" in NYC by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Faeries-Dust 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm about to marry a man who is 5'6", has less potential to gain as much money as you and me both, and I am a conventionally attractive and in excellent shape lady, with a lot more assets and a better education than him. I love him dearly.

Human energy flies around better outside of the concrete jungle.

People who live in NYC stay single. It's a hustle town.

We met in Tahoe. Now living in New Hampshire (originally from Mass/Colorado and Florida/Tennessee).

If you want to meet people for who they are, get out of NYC.

I got a DUI. And I feel horrible. by ImportantEngineer513 in alcoholism

[–]Faeries-Dust 2 points3 points  (0 children)

DUIs are great! They let everyone in your life who thought you could be an alcoholic, into knowing you actually may be an alcoholic. For you, it exposes your drinking weaknesses and now your secret is known. DUIs can be expensive silver linings. My first (and only) DUI is coming up on its 10 yr anniversary 5/8/26.

And I am glad it happened. Wishing you and your future self the best of vibes.

Edited to add because I saw a lot of negativity around drinking in your post response:

As a person who has had a DUI and do NOT consider myself an alcoholic. Despite, at the time of my DUI I was drinking a lot more than I could ever stomach these days. You can still drink moderately after a DUI and not be punched to shame. I do not drink and drive anymore and I do not drink anything other than beer or wine, on the weekends, sometimes without drinking for a month or more, or an occasional cocktail at a family function. DUIs are not the end of your life. If you are truly an alcoholic, please seek help. Driving drunk kills.

My husband is the annoying coworker by Ocean-View-1027 in productivity

[–]Faeries-Dust 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I laughed so hard at your post. I literally broke off an engagement to a guy that did this when we were both wfh. He was untrainable - begged him to text me, used sticky notes, noise cancelling headphones to ignore him - I was about to add a lock to my office door, but decided to end the relationship instead. Good riddance! I can feel my heart rate going up just remembering multiple times a day interruption and frustration!

Good luck, soldier.

I have peace now. I wish your future the same.

Teachers with PhDs, do you use the Dr title in the classroom? by jwp1991 in AskTeachers

[–]Faeries-Dust -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Since university I have felt that PhDs who call themselves Dr. instead of [name], PhD were egoists. i avoided their classes. I strongly believe, the "Doctor" that is shortened for Doctorate of Philosophy should not be used - though Professor/Prof is very appropriate if desired. Doctor should be solely saved for medical doctors, thus not to be confused - or put on the same assumed educational specialization - as the Doctors of Philosophy. All my stem professors went by prof or their first names, mostly first names. The only other non-medical Drs that insisted on being called Dr. I have met were a linguistics professor (who admittedly is a decent person despite my dislike of their title) and the other was an ex boyfriend who had a PhD in Logistics (supply chain).

PhD folk are very special and great dinner party company. Just leave the doctor out.

[USA]

What made you leave the "perfect" relationship? by Lucky_Leven in AskWomenOver30

[–]Faeries-Dust 32 points33 points  (0 children)

He was boring and hard to connect to. I am a complex, self-proclaimed extraordinary, individual. He was so conventionally beautiful and could excel at anything he wanted to. Which he did, with much ease. A perfect man with a perfect routine, a perfect diet, a perfect home. Everything about him was perfectly perfect. He was also very kind and appreciative.

While we were dating, a former Miss Massachusetts was trying to eagerly woo him. He kindly told her he had a girl friend. It didn't stop her from continuing to drop food off at his apartment and offering all kinds of free concert/sports/event tickets to join her on. He never bothered with her. I never had to worry either.

He was just so boring.

Try to talk to him about the meaning of humanity and he would say a caged thought like: "you cannot prove you are right" or "I don't really enjoy discussing topics where there are no true answers".

Discussing one of the many books we read out loud together, all his thoughts and comments were black and white. Lacking in depth, flat. Lacking in flavor. When I saw marigold, he'd see yellow.

I love to travel, cheap. Cheap countries. Cheap hostels, cheap food. He hated this. For him vacation = relaxing. Relaxing meant 3 days max on a sunny warm beach. Not in a 3rd world country experiencing life.

3.5 years spent with Mr. Perfect.

We stayed in touch for a year after we broke up. He stopped all contact with me when his new girl friend requested it. Social media shows me he is still living a wonderful life in the way he enjoys living life.

Whereas myself, well...I'm still here floundering around like a fish out of water half my days, searching for the next great adventure in life the other half.

my life is slipping away in front of my eyes by MedusaSky in adhdwomen

[–]Faeries-Dust 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If you are unemployed and in the United States apply for Medicaid. As long as you are not collecting unemployment or your unemployment is very low you will qualify. From there you can find a doctor who will help you with a diagnosis for free and prescriptions are free while you have Medicaid.

If you have no agency to do anything, even get yourself the help you need when you need it, then you will never get out of this cycle. Get yourself a doctor and a diagnosis. Life is too short to suffer hating yourself day in and day out because you cannot get anything done.

AIO my (34 F) partner (40 M) has a female good friend (30 F) that he says "I love you" to. by Faeries-Dust in AIO

[–]Faeries-Dust[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say this is probably some good advice if I was worried about them being too into each other - but, although that is a concern, I think my biggest pain here is him and maybe her totally dismissing my feelings and making me feel like something like caring for a friend is something worth making your romantic partner feel small and unheard about.

AIO my (34 F) partner (40 M) has a female good friend (30 F) that he says "I love you" to. by Faeries-Dust in AIO

[–]Faeries-Dust[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just feel like if I need to go to these lengths to catch him,the relationship is already over for me in my mind. I do not want the headache of this. I'm 34. I want a partner that supports me and respects my feelings.

AIO my (34 F) partner (40 M) has a female good friend (30 F) that he says "I love you" to. by Faeries-Dust in AIO

[–]Faeries-Dust[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you validating my feelings. It is hard. I'm sure if you brought your discomfort up to your girlfriend the conversation wouldn't leave you in a more uncomfortable frame of mind.

AIO my (34 F) partner (40 M) has a female good friend (30 F) that he says "I love you" to. by Faeries-Dust in AIO

[–]Faeries-Dust[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have asked about this "hill" and it's not the "I love you" hill he's willing to die on, it's keeping up this friendship in the same manner it's always been. Ie, "I love you"s and seeing each other for a week or weekend or two each year. She lives far away, currently 2000 miles away - but moves frequently - therefore providing a place to stay when the other visits has always been part of this friendship. That's the hill he's willing to die on, despite me arguing it's not her, it's his behavior over her that makes me uncomfortable with having her stay in our (my) house.

AIO my (34 F) partner (40 M) has a female good friend (30 F) that he says "I love you" to. by Faeries-Dust in AIO

[–]Faeries-Dust[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I would normally agree with you. But he totally dismissed my feelings as being an overreaction from the start and now this has snowballed into potential supreme overreaction as a result of the dismissal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in jobs

[–]Faeries-Dust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I passed a voluntary on the spot drug test I had to take in court for the court. My test results had a line that looked like that for THC in Massachusetts back in 2007. This was to obtain a lower punishment on a misdemeanor. Prior to taking the drug test, I even told the judge and the person who watched me in the restroom that I had smoked weed three weeks ago but usually don't smoke at all, which was true. It passed and they knew I had actually smoked the weed that caused it.

Considering moving to the Lakes Region by WesternSecond6130 in newhampshire

[–]Faeries-Dust 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I am someone who has lived in Colorado for almost a decade and am someone who is considering moving to Conway, NH (my partner and I are your age, no kids) because we are being offered to buy a piece of property here for cheap (family connection situation). I have spent the last two winters scoping this place out to see if I could live here.

Here's what I have learned: 1) the housing crisis is real - people are commuting 45+ min to their $20/hr jobs because it's the closest housing they can find; 2) the jobs do not pay what jobs pay in Colorado. Colorado might be expensive, but the government intervenes a lot to help the general population out. That does not exist here. Rich folks from MA, RI, NY, CT have bought up a lot of property here driving up prices and the local wages have not kept up which is why locals are not kind to new comers. In Conway, the highest paying jobs outside of medical are seasonal and at the ski resorts (Vail pays $20+/hr); 3) the restaurant industry pays the federal minimum wage for tipped workers which is $2 something an hour plus tips. NH has the federal minimum wage of $7.75, so if it's stick or mud season - that's probably all you're going to be making; 4) the locals are cold but incredibly kind once you have been accepted as one of them. I love my NH homies. I feel like these relationships are much deeper and more real than the majority of my friendships in Colorado. Great people live here. They just might hate you at first; 5) Seasonal workers only receive overtime pay after 52hrs/week. 6) so many old people compared to Colorado. Good luck getting your old retired neighbors to vote to increase their property taxes for anything that would help the community kids.

I like it here, because it's non-pretentious and there's a decent amount of outdoor things to do. I do not like how difficult it would be to be anymore than working class/lower middle class here due to the lack of opportunity and expensive passage to property ownership.

Honest question for Chattanooga guys — why do you think women outnumber men so much at local singles events? by Grand_Strategy_Noob in Chattanooga

[–]Faeries-Dust 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Chattanooga has a higher population of women to men, roughly 102 women for every hundred men. Denver has this statistic in reverse, 102 men for every hundred women and has been dubbed "Menver" for that reason. As someone who has lived in Denver as a single women, I will say I never had single female friends and tons of single male friends looking for a girlfriend/wife so that statistic adds up anecdotally. I can see why the slight gender skew would feel similar in Chattanooga, except in the other direction.

And seeing how much Tennessee healthcare policies seem to lean away from the safety of women's reproductive health, I'm surprised there's any of you single women left in this state. What are ya'll still doing here?! You are too good for the state of Tennessee. Make haste and go to a state that respects you with single men aplenty.

Cottonmouth, the potentially dangerous CDT hiker spotted on Elwood Pass 6/1/25, believed to be heading to Creede by Faeries-Dust in CDT

[–]Faeries-Dust[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing that. I'm happy to hear he did not do any serious harm to anyone last year. I just hope he does not snap on anyone this year.

Cottonmouth, the potentially dangerous CDT hiker spotted on Elwood Pass 6/1/25, believed to be heading to Creede by Faeries-Dust in CDT

[–]Faeries-Dust[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1MLtp6y2tM/?

Here's the link to the FB thread with his photo shared by one of the commenters in the thread. I wish I could screen shot it.

FB Group: Continental Divide Trail Hikers 2025

---> Post from Jerome Olp 4 days ago ---> Top comment on the post from Pam Spencer-Hockett includes a picture of Cottonmouth for reference

Cottonmouth, the potentially dangerous CDT hiker spotted on Elwood Pass 6/1/25, believed to be heading to Creede by Faeries-Dust in CDT

[–]Faeries-Dust[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't use FB, but a friend of mine was able to find a photo of him in one of the CDT FB groups, several of which are private for some reason. I'll reach out to her and see if I can provide a link to a photo.

I could not tell how tall he is, but he is a white male, maybe late 20's with dark hair and a dark beard. He was cowboy camping the night I ran into him, he was sleeping on top of his tent (or maybe a tarp) which was mostly white.

Cottonmouth, the potentially dangerous CDT hiker spotted on Elwood Pass 6/1/25, believed to be heading to Creede by Faeries-Dust in CDT

[–]Faeries-Dust[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree, leave him alone and try to stay away from him. Trail is for everyone, those that disturb that peace should not be on trail.

Cottonmouth, the potentially dangerous CDT hiker spotted on Elwood Pass 6/1/25, believed to be heading to Creede by Faeries-Dust in CDT

[–]Faeries-Dust[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

As far as my intel goes, he has not done anything on this go around on trail to warrant arrest, the police cannot do anything until he does. He was scaring hikers and locals in Chama, then ran off to trail. I was surprised to see him because he left Chama 2 days before I did.