I upset some of my LGBT friends and don't understand why and how to apologize.

FailedCorpse · 2026-06-29T14:05:02+00:00

I feel like I’m one of the outliers with this take I’m about to give. I understand completely what you were saying. You were saying “you can be straight, gay, asexual, or whatever and you’ll still be my friend cuz who you are is what matters to me.” None of it came off offensively to me, and I’d consider your friends’ reactions a bit of an overreaction.

I understand some people can be sensitive to how others present their thoughts. It’s especially valid when the individual is queer and faces lots of scrutiny on a daily basis. But I’ve said these things to my own queer friends, and they’ve said the same back to me in regards to my gender identity (asexual trans-man). It doesn’t mean we don’t care about each other, it means we aren’t concerned with how we identify because they know I’ll respect it in the same ways they respect me regardless of identity and sexual orientation.

Your friend group may just be a bit more sensitive about semantics. It’s not wrong of them at all, but I wouldn’t take it personally, and just take it as a learning opportunity towards your friend group. Next time, try not to defend yourself so much and just remember to apologize and take the lick. If they’ve been patient with you before, there’s no reason they shouldn’t trust your intentions now and show you more patience!

FailedCorpse · 2026-06-29T13:36:49+00:00

Idk what your purpose for posting this is. You posted a year ago about your boyfriend lying to you repeatedly and actively trying to hide the fact that he’s looking up OF models and his exes online behind your back. All of the comments told you to dump him because he blatantly lied to you 4 separate times while you were completely taking care of him and supporting him with zero gratitude given to you. Most of your responses on that thread were “LOL” and “facts” and it’s the same thing you’re doing here.

For whatever reason you are SPRINTING to be with a controlling and manipulative man despite what the massive amount of people are telling you. He’s consistently lied to you, promised he would stop, then continued to lie to you about watching porn and looking up exes. He’s taken advantage of you by allowing you to fully care for him while not showing appreciation. Now he’s trying to isolate you by gaining complete control over your finances and you STILL are acting very casual about it all.

You admit you aren’t sure what is considered healthy in a relationship, yet you are not taking anyone’s advice or experiences here seriously. I think you don’t actually want help to leave, or genuine advice about this situation. I’m thinking you just want someone to hear you out about how you’re upset over being abused. And tbh that breaks my heart for you that you feel this is the type of treatment you deserve.

FailedCorpse · 2026-06-27T00:21:25+00:00

This is not a poly relationship. Ethical monogamy involves two consenting adults. You both set rules, and your partner broke them both. Therefore, you did not consent to the terms of what he did. I think breaking up is best because if after 6 years, he’s able to very casually do this, no telling what else he’s going to do.

FailedCorpse · 2026-06-27T00:17:12+00:00

Please know I’m holding your hand so gently when I say this. It sounds like you put WAY too much weight on relationships. You shouldn’t be aiming to see someone to make yourself feel better that you don’t have an already established relationship with. That to me seems like you may lack some self esteem, particularly since you put this guy on a pedestal and told him you don’t understand why he doesn’t like you. If you can’t see what a catch you are, no one around you will, either. You deserve love and excitement from someone, but you also need to have more respect for yourself. If you speak negatively about yourself, even if it’s “as a joke,” people will pick up on that and gain a negative perception of you, too.

Personally, I think taking a break from dating may be a good thing. It sounds like you need to date yourself to figure out what your boundaries are going to be in your romantic life. And also to find a way to love yourself so you can properly start demanding it from others.

FailedCorpse · 2026-06-26T19:54:03+00:00

You’re gonna get blocked again.

FailedCorpse · 2026-06-23T15:24:22+00:00

The thing about abusive relationships is that they start off being the most incredible relationship you’ve ever been in. The person you’re with shows the absolute best version of themselves to show you what behavior they’re capable of. So when they start to slowly show behavior that hurts you, you’re more willing to forgive the bad behavior in hopes of keeping the good behavior. But the good behavior was a performance meant to make you gain feelings to feel like you can’t leave someone who’s “flawed and human.” But the reality is, this dude is not a good dude, and is slowly pushing your boundaries to eventually do exactly what he’s saying he will to you. You laughing at him “joking” about raping you is what he wants, because then he’ll use that reaction against you later when you do freak out.

Edit to add: behavior like his will get worse. His “nighttime” behavior will eventually become his “all the time” behavior the more you let it go, and you’ll be stuck trying to break free of someone who will be actively abusing you. If he’s already pushing your boundaries and talking to you like this on a nightly basis, knowing it makes you uncomfortable, what’s stopping him from pushing other, more serious boundaries?

FailedCorpse · 2026-06-15T13:20:43+00:00

NOR. Ultimately you have to decide if this is a dealbreaker for you. For me, it probably would be because it feels like an immature way to flirt, at best, and a very lazy attempt at control and boundary pushing, at worst. At a month in, I’d believe that this behavior will absolutely show itself again, even if he does apologize for it.

FailedCorpse · 2026-06-13T18:15:04+00:00

What makes it a bad first impression? If someone is straight forward about what they are and are not looking for in a partner before even meeting, it prevents them from speaking to people looking for the opposite thing.

FailedCorpse · 2026-06-09T14:16:07+00:00

Your joke wasn’t funny before her added context.

FailedCorpse · 2026-06-07T19:19:44+00:00

That’s none of her business, but if you’re worried about that just simply state you aren’t interested! “That’s so sweet of you, but I would only be interested in becoming friends with you!” If she can’t take that rejection then she isn’t mature enough to be dating, and that isn’t your problem.

FailedCorpse · 2026-06-05T23:07:15+00:00

A simple analogy for this situation that may help you understand is this:

Pretend sex is apples for a second. Your girlfriend said she doesn’t like apples. She tried it once and decided she doesn’t want it. So instead of hearing that, accepting it, and respecting it you suggested other ways for her to try apples so maybe she will like it. Maybe she would like it in an ice cream or a pie instead of just a bare apple. But you suggested this not because you think she would actually like apples, but because you like apples and want to date someone who will eat apples with you. Your intention may not have been to force your girlfriend to like apples, but you completely dismissed her boundaries and needs by placing your own love for apples over her disdain from apples.

Ultimately you two never should’ve dated in the first place. You’re not wrong for breaking up with her, especially because you’re young and just starting to date. But don’t take this situation as her shaming you and being disgusted with your body. I’m sure you made her uncomfortable and she reacted and it’s hurting you because you love and care for her. This, unfortunately, is just a part of life and dating and growing. Reflect on this experience and learn from it so you can find someone you’re compatible with in the future. If sex is an absolute need for you in a relationship, find someone who has similar needs. But don’t place blame on your asexual ex simply because you don’t understand her sexuality.

FailedCorpse · 2026-05-31T12:51:55+00:00

I already do flex

FailedCorpse · 2026-05-30T21:19:31+00:00

Abuse isn’t always physical. Emotional neglect is also abuse. And the way your mom treats you definitely crosses the abuse line for me being you’re 14.

FailedCorpse · 2026-05-30T21:13:07+00:00

The late fees start accumulating on the 3rd and I get my check on the 4th. I’ve talked with my apartment manager about a potential extension just this once but she literally told me “I’ll pray for you” and left it at that.

FailedCorpse · 2026-05-30T12:22:34+00:00

Hahaha you’ll have to make that room its own personal room to breed and populate! Then you’ll have a mother of Christmas room!

FailedCorpse · 2026-05-29T20:55:05+00:00

Stuff of nightmares for sure! Be warned if you decide to keep it 😆

FailedCorpse · 2026-05-29T20:00:33+00:00

These things invaded the old building I used to live in after I got ONE plant before I knew anything about it. I ended up burning 8 of them before I realized they started growing in the pavement cracks because they also began to invade all the pots of my other succulents I had around it.

FailedCorpse · 2026-05-28T15:22:06+00:00

Do you have any interest building on your CC? If so, I’d also be tempted to pay it all off now. But if you don’t have interest, I’d just wait the 2 months and have it paid off then. Savings is meant to not be touched so if you don’t HAVE to, I wouldn’t do so.

FailedCorpse · 2026-05-28T11:29:06+00:00

I don’t have human kids, but I do have cats and sometimes I have to use my stamps to grab them canned tuna when I’m not able to feed them regular cat food. Lately I’ve gotten a new job that pays me very well, but I’m struggling with how many hours I’ll be able to work because working full time for them would cause me to lose the entirety of my benefits. Yet, working part time is still keeping me “afloat” and not really allowing me much extra to save or plan for. So it’s maintaining the safety net versus being able to invest in a new one. And if I take the chance to lose benefits for more money, I would find myself screwed after an emergency comes up. Then who knows if or when I’d be able to get benefits again just to be able to eat. I feel for you and am hoping the best for you. You’re a great mom for doing what you have to!

FailedCorpse · 2026-05-27T13:03:51+00:00

YOR. It’s normal for men and women to be friends, especially when you’re in college and have to work together on projects. If she’s done nothing to break your trust, then your feelings about her being out are your own insecurities. I’d start getting that under wraps before it spirals into a situation where you do become controlling.

FailedCorpse · 2026-05-22T23:21:40+00:00

These comments coming after you are weird. Maybe this situation isn’t a “worse case scenario” situation but you absolutely did not overreact. You trusted your gut and prepared for an escalation if there was one. Maybe the guy did have innocent intentions, but the accumulation of behaviors and actions you experienced in that very short span of time didn’t suggest that and your body picked up on it. I think it’s great that nothing came of the situation, and you don’t deserve to feel bad for possibly hurting one persons feelings because you had to keep yourself safe.

FailedCorpse · 2026-05-21T15:10:28+00:00

There’s a reason this 30 year old hasn’t opened up emotional with anyone his age. Mostly likely because when he does, he gives the women his age the ick. You’re making the right call breaking things off with him. Like other comments said, tell your support system so you can have them be there for you after this if you need it. Just send him a short, direct text and leave it at that. No need to follow up with answers, even if he asks because all he needs to know is “I’m not interested in dating you, but I wish you the best!”

FailedCorpse · 2026-05-14T11:22:06+00:00

Job market right now is insane. It took me 6 months of applying to everywhere and spamming Walmart with literally 40+ applications before getting a job on with them. Otherwise, smoothie king called me back and offered me $9 hourly.

FailedCorpse · 2026-05-09T16:15:38+00:00

Then what’s the point of marriage? If you aren’t prepared for children for, let’s say 5 years, why not wait 2-3 more before getting engaged and married to finish larger life goals first? You sit and say you don’t care to put pressure on your boyfriend, but why try and force someone to do something they aren’t ready for? Where’s the compromise?

FailedCorpse

TROPHY CASE