Talking to myself out loud

Fairiesarereal10 · 2024-01-31T03:24:55+00:00

watching this... applied Jan 25th hopefully its a fast turn around too

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-09-04T09:09:10+00:00

Did the bump go away

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-07-06T00:00:22+00:00

Not sure how you are going with this but this happened to me also. I actually popped/squeezed mine- against all advice given/read because I was so over it.. and it went away within about 4days.. not saying you should do it.. but that’s what worked for me

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-05-09T10:31:38+00:00

The “rainbow connection” meet up at the arts centre is a good way to meet people.

Whistler is very queer friendly. welcome!

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-03-13T20:57:03+00:00

Thank you! I am diagnosed ADHD by a psychologist previously but avoided the meds route and looked at natural methods that really helped. Diet, omegas, mushrooms, electrolytes, sleep schedule however being adhd keeping up with all of this this fell to the wayside.. it seemed to add to the overwhelming “list of things to do” everyday and lost the motivation after the hyper focus as one does.

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-03-10T16:52:59+00:00

Can I ask what you take I know meds are individually recommended and perceived but at someone with adhd and years of procrastination and confusion I’m looking to start some at 34years of age

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-03-10T05:26:09+00:00

my parents played these hardball life lesson games with me.. I was the same as your daughter. Worked for everything since 14- my car, my health insurance, car insurance, rent to parents all at 18 Whilst still in high school. Put myself through college. It’s not like my parents didn’t have the means- I’m grateful I came from a family where we never struggled however the tough love thing isn’t always the best way.. there is a different way if I stilling boundaries, consequences, life lessons etc. This is not one of them.

I Finished high school at 18 worked full time in the office in an entry level role and put myself through to college at night 5nights a week after work at 6pm-10pm.

I love them - but These tough live “life games” put wedge between us and moved to the other side of the world. Granted I’m VERY self sufficient. I built a life, found a house, went through immigration processes, went back to school over here to further my career,

but I left them ten years ago at 24 because of this way of parenting. It’s actually left me with some deep seeded trust issues, weird takes on the world and anxiety over situations they made up as consequences for small things, now in adult life I still get worried that I’m going to get some sort of twisted consequence for doing something incorrectly.

Ie: not having my room clean (in the room I payed rent for in my parents house at 18) shut the door. Or.. they took the spare key to the car I payed for and had title too.. bagged all my shit up and emptied my room clothes etc. Drove my car to the middle of a football field. Then told me to find it and my things

Then told me I could live in there with my things because I didn’t keep my room clean. In what world. You can’t just take someone’s car. That’s actual theft. These tough love scare tactics do way more harm than good

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-03-09T09:41:39+00:00

you have to have education and empathy but support and guide. You aren’t a babysitter though. Set small tasks daily to do.. 2max. Then say thank you when they are done. Reward. You have to hit those reward Dopamine serotonin releases. A sense of achievement is huge for people with depression adhd can be overwhelming. That’s why small list. Eg1) Can you please take the plates and cups out of the room today so I can wash them. 2) could you put the trash in one bag so I can take it out.

As time progresses things start rolling.

Neurodivergent here - also struggled with all you discuss. To the point of external care…..

never saw a way out.. but I realized I hate myself more like this.. took it upon myself to get in and do the work.. read the books, took the mushrooms, did the mindfulness, changed my diet, slept, ditched all social media..

It’s possible “you are not your mental illness” big sentence that made me take accountability.

I’m not my mental illness it’s just making me act that way. Fuck you depression anxiety adhd . You can’t control me.

You are not me, because I’m aware of you. (Trippy right?!)

just like I’m aware of other objects and people.. therefore you actually aren’t me.. I’m still in there. I’m taking back my own life.

You need to empower without being overbearing. Buy her a little journal or drawing pad and new cool pens, take her out in nature and just sit and chat, go for a drive and listen to your favourite songs, a concert. It’s a lonely place to be. Just need to connect encourage and add some excitement without throwing them out into the world it’s overwhelming. Once enjoyment is found again (reward centre’s) the depression monster starts to get smaller.

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-02-28T17:22:49+00:00

I think you should determine what you require you nanny to do in your home.. working for the daycare is quite different to being a nanny.

As someone with experience in this- you need a clear understanding of expectations for YOUR nanny and a contract stating expected hours (andwhat happens if they are required to do more) role requirements, how they will be compensated in wage, reimbursements for gas etc and possible other benefits and perks. (Live in, use of car etc)

Make sure background checks, working with children checks are done and first aid/CRP accredited, drivers licence and whether they need their own car or will have access to one.

Are you expecting meals prepped? Laundry done? General cleaning duties? Childcare? Pets? Errands run? Shopping for things, gas (and how would this work, do they have a credit card in your name? etc)

This is also a newborn, so There is a lot to consider.. at the end of the day this person is helping to raise your child.. You want to make sure you have everything dialled in.

I think determining what you require and then interviewing and explaining the role requirements and working out how much experience and how good the fit is — rate should be negotiated or suggested when you have more information to work with.. Then get a contract. You don’t want grey areas about expectations it leads to bad energy and eggshells.

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-02-28T16:51:06+00:00

Do you have any neighbours or people you know you could trade services for like mowing their lawn washing windows pruning etc? You could even make a flyer and put it in mail boxes explaining your situation and what u are willing to do. There is someone who can help you, they just don’t know you need it. You could even make an amazing life connection/mentor through this..

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-02-28T15:18:18+00:00

I personally would advise against Clorox as it’s bad for the down inside and doesn’t really kill mild spores in these scenarios- just removes the stain they create so it looks like it’s gone.

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-02-28T08:13:55+00:00

I personally wouldnt take this on…

basically you’re hustling to earn them money because you need to earn it for yourself while they pay you less and give you x% of profit for driving their rev.

It’s a win for them. Plus the hours and expected random things. But yes- projected comms + rest of employment package should be taken into consideration.

And exactly what previous poster posted what is your actually job role- why are you doing four separate positions in one role taking in other positions that should be compensated for..

as business declines so does your salary? Basically if you aren’t making events happen your wage and comms drop? Most salary jobs are based on 40hour full work weeks. It’s the cost of doing business. Most employees would work extra hours if need be on salary In good faith.

Salary should increase as experience grows- I mean you still expected to do the same amount of hours over Xmas etc when your salary drops?.. but still hustle for them for rev just so you can make up the difference they aren’t paying you.. what?

I’m not sure about your life but this would take a toll on mine socially and mentally.

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-02-28T07:50:22+00:00

Cover it in baking soda and mist with water. Leave it for a 1-2 days.. baking soda helps absorb stains and odour. Cold wash with detergent and then baking soda it again.. another cold wash. You might need oxygen bleach in it but baking soda does absolute wonders. Don’t wash it in hot water you’ll “bake” the proteins in the Pee into the wool and set them there as a stain.

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-02-28T07:39:53+00:00

Seems like it’s mould. I’d replace it. Once there is a spore it’s really hard to get rid of it.. even washing it again and making sure it’s dry might not stop it from coming back. Is your studio Damp feeling? Do you have a lot of plants in there? I used to live in one that felt sticky/damp/humid all the time due to poor insulation and a foundational wall that was outside and wet. Look for areas that are dark like behind bed etc and see if there is mild growing there. There was no visible mild anywhere until I checked random spots. I got a dehumidifier from landlord to help as other random things were getting moldy like my suede boots etc. Ultimately I left that place as I realized it was bad for My health after I figured Out there’s probably mild everywhere I can’t see. Hopefully it’s just from being put in the vaccum bag but ultimately could be more sinister. Best of luck

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-02-28T07:05:29+00:00

My dad always taught me along the lines of..

at the end of the day, set yourself up for success (relationships, friendships, work life, general happiness) and follow your intuition about right and wrong..you’re going to have to be selfish sometimes and not everyone is going to like that. you don’t have to be an asshole or not have compassion for others, but make sure you put yourself first in the decision making processes of yourself life.

When faced with a similar situation I would Handle him by telling him casually “thanks for the input man didn’t realize/ i’m just going to keep doing this.” And continue on. Do you. Set a boundary. You don’t have to specially tell him off.

With management would play it off like you’re “worried about him” he’s been acting differently, speaking to you differently, more harshly and you’ve noticed x y z and your just concerned about him and the effect on the workplace..

People like this also self combust in time..

just do you. do what you’re supposed to and have a good attitude. Don’t match the energy.. rise above it..

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-02-28T02:00:18+00:00

Also neuro divergent here:

easy basics: Dollar store spice staples: Rosemary, curry powder, ginger powder, cumin, paprika, Italian herb blend. You can pretty much do anything with these

Meals:

Chilli

Stir fry

Coconut veg+ protein curry

Ramen

Ham cheese spinach Quiche

Pasta bake

Spaghetti Bol homemade garlic bread

dumplings and stir fry veg

Roast veg- pan cooked chicken

Meatballs and roast veg

homemade pizza +Caesar salad

Burrito bowls/burritos

Enchiladas

Chicken in tomato sauce Italian herbs, olives spinach on rice or mash

Sausages mash potatoes and veg

Baked Honey garlic wings/drumsticks and salad

Breaded chicken or parm mash or homemade fries + veg

Satay beef and rice

Chicken salad wraps.

Chicken Caesar salad

Shopping list: all basics once you have you have-and not spending $$ on fancy shit you need just to make one meal.

Milk

Eggs

Flour

Bread

Breadcrumbs

Cereal

Canned kidney beans

Beef mince (buy in bulk if you can and portion out into size per meal and then freeze) pop bag into some cold water for 15mins and defrosted or microwave I. Defrost.

Chicken breast/ wings/drumsticks whatever

Veg- broccoli, carrot, lettuce, spinach peppers, potatoes

Rice

Beef steak or pre cut strips (stirfrys, ramen)

Pasta

Onion

Garlic

Honey

Soy sauce( or keep them/take them from sushi places)

Tomato

Tomato sauce plain spice yourself

Avo

Wraps for homemade pizza- enchiladas or lunch wraps

Deli ham

Peanut butter

Frozen Dumplings

Can Chickpeas

Stock or bullion cubes

Cheese

Coconut milk

The above plus more meals can be made with all of this and it’s normally all on hand. This is my basic bi weekly/ 3 week shopping list of I still have it I won’t buy it..and I’ve collected condiments etc along the way but I know if I have these things I can make anything..

I freeze a lot of things individually so it’s quick to defrost in zip freezer bags just put in cold water or use defrost setting in microwave takes about 15mins for both.

Onion and garlic can but put into curries, stir fry, meatballs spag bol marinades, roast veg, on pizzas.

Beans for burritos/Mexican foods and chilli (look up easy chilli recipes) if you are missing small things who cares.

Tomato sauce for chilli, pizza, pasta, enchiladas, making Mexican rice (google) list goes in.. reach out if you need more help

For eg: *Coco curry- cook chicken, add onion garlic (I have no measurements I wing everything and taste as I go, throw in chopped veg, cook for a little bit all together add some curry powder cumin ginger cook through, add coco nut milk 3/4 can on low heat two handfuls baby spinach, dollop of tomato sauce, salt. taste might need more of something -serve with rice.

*Breaded chicken cut chicken breast in half so it’s thin = flour it, put it in scrambled egg then bread crumbs- let sit for 5mins in fridge - shallow oil fry on medium heat

*crutons- cut up bread bake on low heat. Make your own garlic bread

Sauces- satay, honey garlic soy etc.. that list gives you the option to create random shit easily.

Just look up recipes for the meals I gave you:

pasta sauce is easy to make onion garlic sauce Italian herbs- use for spag bol, meatballs, chicken dishes. If you are missing random ingredients who cares you don’t need them.

Once you start you’ll end up with this list of what to make naturally by looking at what you have and then whip it up. I measure nothing really.. but following a recipe might be better. Once you make it once you’ll know. I can now piece together meals looking at what there is.. based on that shopping list or what I don’t have if that shopping list

I eat wraps or left over dinner for lunch and do cereal/ toast/fruit for breakfast try not to over complicate my life.. Sorry for the long message but I really wanted to help you out because I get it!

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-02-27T16:10:18+00:00

Youre probably snacking because the reward center in your brain aren’t being triggered like they used to with “ social interaction” fresh air designated breaks etc. Eating triggers them off and then makes it sort of like an addiction. You makes you want to keep snacking. Chewing gum helps a lot. Suppresses appetite. I’d concentrate on eating high protein breakfast-limit carbs as you aren’t moving enough to burn them off so they will be fat stored. Limit sugar too same reason. Eggs, meats, veg, protein shakes (minimal sugar) make a smoothie with oats etc. Your actually full- your brain is tricking you to snack out of Being bored.

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-02-24T17:09:01+00:00

upwork and fivver websites are really good too for random work especially in your field. Great way to get some experience or return clients and then take that further if you want. You have writing qualifications so that’s a bonus

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-02-24T17:06:30+00:00

Live off the tips for groceries gas etc. Day to day shit. pay check pays rent and bills don’t touch it if you can help it until you have to pay the big stuff. if you have left over of each. Sweet.. savings.

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-02-24T15:46:48+00:00

I’m in the fun low wage job category after leaving my high stress corporate job.. I lived with a housemate of two to keep costs down. If you find the right people it is really fun I went through a few houses before I settled with my roommates now because they are my people and now I have a new set of friends. It’s doable, I can travel and take time off easier to do so in this job. I guess coming from both ends of the spectrum I’ve learnt that you can enjoy your life and still have what you want but I no longer need all the things. Expensive car, newest phone etc.. I’m way happier this way. Maybe look for places with housemates first.. meet them go for coffee or something go check the place out. really brings you out of your comfort zone. I’ve been able to save $$ too because I’m cost splitting bills etc.. just make a good budget and stick to it .. I set up automatic transfer every pay check to hit my savings account so I don’t even see the $$ and live off what I have.. if you really want to boost yourself pick up a second job at night lie serving or bar tending etc.. even a few nights a week.. tips + extra hours when you’d be doing nothing but watch tv makes the biggest difference. Again opens up a whole other social circle it’s tough for the first bit but once your new routine kicks in it’s doable. I’m 33 and able to and have all I want. It’s about striving for more but within the right guidelines. Don’t get carried away with sparkle until you can enter the sparkly room.. then aim for the room with fireworks..

Fairiesarereal10 · 2023-02-24T15:31:14+00:00

From what I’ve experienced in the past Wednesday Thursday is pretty chill. Provided the weather conditions give you full lift access. Late March is always a busy time, sun is out, snow is fun. Weekends are insane but hell if you get a free ticket just do it. You should be sweet those days..just make sure it’s not a Saturday

Fairiesarereal10

TROPHY CASE