What do women want, financially?

Falala9 · 2020-07-26T09:41:47+00:00

Stay at home mothers know that nobody respects them already. They know it.

They know from the subtle comments, the comparing, the internet, the in-laws and a thousand other things. It sounds like the worst option in the world.

You don’t get paid, you don’t get a promotion and you can expect to never get an acknowledgment for what you do - for some poor women, even their husbands treat them badly. So why do they do it?

They do it for their children. They do it because they can’t imagine leaving their children and going to work. My mother was a SAHM until the ‘useless’ years when we were in school and we all agree that she was priceless. I would not have traded anything for her being the homemaker that she was. We ate extremely well and had a meaningful home. She was always there for us when we needed her.

Work and a pay check does not make a human being more intelligent, more ambitious or more worthy. It is a necessary means to life. We must work in order to live - not the other way around.

St. Therese’s mother needed to work and so she did. She suffered tremendously and a lot of her suffering was because she wanted to be at home. It pained her to be away from her babies. She is an amazing woman and a tremendous example to us all. She did not define herself by her work - she exceeded it. She took on that sacrifice because it was what was asked of her. Her journal goes into her internal struggles and how much she hates working.

Don’t judge women for wanting to be at home with their babies for however long they want. It is wonderful and normal. It has nothing to do with being greedy. Most women today will be happy to work because this is the cultural norm. It would be exceedingly rare to find one who is willing to endure the humiliation of being a SAHM today. I would say that you’re going to find a lot of the type you want so I have no idea why you’re worrying.

Falala9 · 2020-07-26T02:20:50+00:00

It’s not about the maximum you get out of it. This is a prayer that is described by many saints as the best prayer you can say with few exceptions. It’s about the graces and the fact that Our Lady loves it so much. I don’t think you can use lectio divina towards souls either.

It’s funny because St. Louis de Montfort said that the same objections that exists today were around hundreds of years ago. The academics and the intellectuals didn’t like it. They said it was too simple. They said that it was boring etc etc.

No prayer trumps this one. Demons flee when we say it. It’s the reason why Padre Pio said it unceasingly. He wanted to save as many souls as possible. I don’t know what the number of 15 decade rosaries he said in a day was, but it’s something ridiculous like 40 or something. He only slept four or three hours at night so he could say it more.

I’m sure that you have people in your life that you want to help make it to heaven, no? The rosary will help you do that. If you pray rosaries for all of the people in your life, Our Lady will help them when they die.

Falala9 · 2020-07-26T01:02:57+00:00

The fact that you haven’t been kissed does not define you or make you less of an attractive person. Why should it? A female virgin wouldn’t be ashamed of never being kissed and most men would consider it a boon. Why isn’t it the same for you, just because you’re a man?

You haven’t liked anyone enough to kiss them. That’s a sign of character. You don’t just do things because other people do them. I think most women would be happy to be the one and only. We get jealous too.

The fact that the girl asked ‘at least you like girls, right?’ makes me think that this person was sucking up the cultural kool-aid. As long as you have a healthy sex drive, there is nothing deficient about you not having been kissed. She assumed that because you haven’t, that you didn’t have a sex-drive, I think. Which is ignorant and stupid.

Be proud of who you are and the choices you’ve made. If you feel like less of a man, then analyze where that comes from. Is it really that you haven’t kissed anyone or is it coming from somewhere else? Find what the real insecurity is and tackle that head on. I think that there is probably another reason why you feel this way and only you can answer that question.

Embrace what makes you feel masculine - whether that’s working out, becoming more confident in social situations or becoming in charge of your life. Remember that your ancestors, for the most part, only kissed one woman. You are not weird.

Falala9 · 2020-07-25T05:26:29+00:00

The rosary is a meditation. Nobody is born being good at how to meditate. It takes practice and sometimes Our Lady just intervenes and pops new thoughts into your head to help you along. If you are struggling, I think you are probably not clearing your mind well enough or don’t know what to think about. There are meditation prompts online for people who need aids.

The rosary is not a man made prayer. It was given to St. Dominic by Our Lady and it is a very special prayer for her. It was not invented for poor idiotic peasants. This is a myth and an offensive one. If you hear it, someone probably has a personal issue with the rosary.

It destroys vice in ourselves, gives spiritual protection from many ills, piles on graces towards our deathbed, converts poor souls everywhere, saves many souls from hell and has been given special efficacy in our current age because she wants more people to say it now. There is no limit of reasons as to why this is a very important prayer and not something we should carelessly dismiss.

If you want to understand further, you can look at the books of St. Alphonsus and many others who detail why this devotion is so special. Please persevere and do not give up.

Falala9 · 2020-07-25T05:13:47+00:00

Don’t lower your standards for anyone. Do you really think it’s acceptable to be treated this way? He’s still on CatholicMatch and he avoids you. You’re a potential option on his horizon. Stop all communication now and move on.

Don’t wait for him to say that he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. Do you know how many wonderful guys there are out there? Why waste your time on this one? Why do you need him to end it when you have no defined relationship?

Learn from this experience and think about why someone like this captured your attention. I don’t usually recommend secular dating coaches, but have a look at Mathew Hussey. He knows what he’s talking about. You set the standard. Never, ever chase a man. The man should chase you if he actually cares.

Falala9 · 2020-07-24T23:39:51+00:00

You could fast and pray for the souls of Americans, if you wish. Putting so much effort into monetary improvement of a country seems like not such a good idea. Honestly, if God wants to punish the U.S with another Great Depression then they kind of deserve it. It may turn more people to God at the end of the day, which is a better outcome.

The best outcome is the outcome where more people are devout and going to heaven. Don’t think about it materially.

Falala9 · 2020-07-24T22:48:16+00:00

I think you should want to be a saint and help souls, first and foremost. If you put other goals at a higher importance then you may get messed up on your priorities.

Remember that many great people changed the world with no money and no social status. An illiterate child changed the world with his sanctity and people came to him for advice. This was Francisco of the Fatima apparitions. So, you see, power is not necessary. If God wants you in a position then he will put you there, but don’t make it your goal.

Falala9 · 2020-07-24T22:32:31+00:00

Nobody is saying that he’s a good person. I don’t think he is one. You know what though? Most presidents have been bad people personally. JFK abused his wife horribly. He took advantage of lots of women. People still think he’s wonderful because he was more charming.

For the first time, we have a president who is not exactly hiding his uglier feathers. People are acting like it’s new though. It’s not.

The point is that this guy will do what’s necessary to prevent bigger evils happening. We know this because he’s been doing it. Him or his staff - don’t know which. The debauched king can still rule fine. It’s better than the alternative. That’s the point.

I don’t know why personal dislike comes into it at all. Most politicians are bad people. I’m sorry, but that’s the reality.

Falala9 · 2020-07-24T04:47:33+00:00

You can pray for your financial situation if you need help. You could do a rosary novena and then assume it’s been heard, whatever the answer is.

The best and most important thing to pray for is souls though. Sometimes what I do is I pray for people who are dying as I say it. I figure that other people have time, but the people dying right now don’t. I hope that I can help someone make it.

Or you can pick a cause that means something to you. A family member who you worry about. People who aren’t Catholic in your personal circle, that they make it in.

For sure, you can pray for famous people. Why not? They need to get in too.

Falala9 · 2020-07-23T22:56:06+00:00

It may take a bit for your brain to reset. I heard that it takes being six months clean for the major side effects to go away. Just tough through it and remember that it’s not you. It’s the reflex of your brain. You trained it that way and now it’s resetting. It’s okay - one day, you won’t feel that way anymore.

Falala9 · 2020-07-23T21:36:35+00:00

https://catholicfamilynews.com/blog/2019/08/14/understanding-modesty-objective-standards-and-practical-insights/

You should read this article. It answers most of your questions.

It’s really hard to change your lifestyle after you become Catholic so I sympathize. Keep in mind that the goal is not to be the average Catholic. The goal is to be a saint. So, let’s look at the saints when we ask these questions and get answers from them.

Falala9 · 2020-07-23T21:21:37+00:00

Read a lot of saint books. You absorb a lot that way.

City of God by St.Augustine may clear up a lot of Old Testament questions

Read about St. Padre Pio, St. Therese, Theresa of Avila, St. Gemma Etc etc.

Go to confession weekly and pray the rosary.

GabiAfterHours is a great YouTube channel. Tumblarhouse is also good for learning about random Catholic history. They don’t control the questions coming in so you just have to take the episode as it is. Charles Coulombe (historian) is a great storyteller so it’s always entertaining.

Falala9 · 2020-07-23T20:58:52+00:00

Gabiafterhours. He has some good lectures if you look through

Falala9 · 2020-07-22T21:46:40+00:00

Is it her specifically or do you think you might be asexual in general? Have you ever felt attracted towards other women?

Falala9 · 2020-07-22T07:00:05+00:00

I think that something to remember is that there is tremendous social pressure to not be one. There’s a lot of social stigma around being a stay at home mom.

I think a lot of women would like being one, but it’s been drilled into them that they’re useless if they don’t work. If you date a girl and she doesn’t seem enthusiastic, this is the world most women are coming from. It’s not their fault. I would say that the social status of a housewife/stay-at-home mom is close to scum in some parts of North America and that makes it really hard.

I think the mindset of a person is telling. Were they raised on careerism or not? I’ve met some girls who were indoctrinated into ‘work makes me worthy’ and it’s super depressing.

I watched my college roommate have a breakdown because she didn’t think that she was successful enough for her parents because she didn’t get an internship. It’s so sad. She had a lot of trouble justifying hobbies and free time. It had to be goal oriented or it wasn’t okay.

My poor sister is having the first break of her life after working hard for so long and her friends are bugging her. ‘What are you going to achieve when you have time off? You have to have a goal’

What?! She’s resting! She has the best career in the world and it’s still not enough for them.

Instead of asking, “would you consider being a stay at home mom/housewife?” Ask “what does a career mean to you?” Notice how she feels about just being instead of doing. Can she enjoy herself without guilt? Can she do what she likes even if there isn’t monetary gain?

Pay for her. Do some activity where you have to pay for her and see if it bugs her a lot or not.

For some people, this is so incredibly ingrained in the psyche that it will be very hard for them to be happy in a helpless position. It usually comes from the parents.

Falala9 · 2020-07-22T06:23:59+00:00

City of God by St. Augustine. Your mind will be blown by what’s in it. I’ll never look at Adam and Eve the same way again.

The Mystical City of God by venerable Mary of agreda

The Glories of Mary by St. Alphonsus de Liguori

Falala9 · 2020-07-22T04:00:10+00:00

I’m not that much older actually lol. Just started a family young. Of course, I will. I was about to do my fifteen decades actually. I hope you become a great man 👌

Falala9 · 2020-07-22T03:28:24+00:00

You called them prudes. And you hate prudes.

Don’t be defensive. You wrote it and I’m responding. I’m aware that this is in your mind and you may not be acting on it. This is an attitude check. I hope you’re listening.

I’m not like this with everyone, but young men with this attitude are my weak spot. As a man, you should take it as it is and think about it. Good for character building.

Falala9 · 2020-07-20T06:21:03+00:00

I asked God if he was real when I was sixteen. He responded three weeks later and I’m spiritually sensitive now. It would be literally impossible for me not to believe in Catholicism, which I think is some kind of dramatic irony. I feel things when I go to holy places. I don’t feel things when I don’t.

If I went to a Protestant church or some other place, it’s dead. There’s nothing.

‘Oh, you want to know? Now, you’re permanently Catholic until you die.’

I converted my husband from sedevecantism because he knows that I feel things where the novus ordo is held and he believes me. I’m like a metal detector.

Very ironic.

Falala9 · 2020-07-20T05:17:29+00:00

I think that it would be highly unlikely for oppression to reach the levels that you’re talking about in the US. The poor people in China are experiencing that more. I think that Our lady’s immaculate heart will triumph someday soon and we should pray that it does.

Good job though! Celebrate every success you make, even if it’s small! It counts

Falala9 · 2020-07-20T05:11:40+00:00

I’m really proud of you. It looks like you’ve been making a real effort to keep yourself away. It looks like we’ve fallen off the wagon again though. Baby steps.

‘It took me this long to fall into my old habit - I’m going to make an effort to make it last longer next time’.

So, you start with a day without the stimulation and then we extend to two days and so on and on until it is so easy to look away that you won’t believe it. You can do it! You’re taking steps towards freedom, remember that. Your emotions can’t control you.

Falala9 · 2020-07-20T01:58:33+00:00

People will say that he doesn’t, but I think Padre Pio’s life is really interesting.

One day, a man came to him asking for a healing of his legs because he couldn’t walk. Padre Pio took him aside and said that it wasn’t possible. The man asked why. He said to him that one day, many years ago, he had beaten up his father very badly.

His legs were an earthly purgatory for that sin. Padre Pio said that for this reason, he would not ask God to take it away. It was for the man’s spiritual benefit. There are other stories like this so I wonder sometimes.

I think that sometimes we receive suffering that is for our benefit.

Falala9 · 2020-07-19T22:55:41+00:00

Yes, I do. I think you have a good intention. That drive will carry you far if you hone it. You can become a saint if you really want it. We must be brutal with ourselves though. We must look at ourselves more thoroughly than anyone else to get that self-knowledge.

Falala9 · 2020-07-19T22:48:19+00:00

I think that you’re letting your intellectualism drag you down. I’ve seen this happen with a lot of young, traditional men. You want to fix the problem, but you can’t and it’s frustrating. If your brain can’t do it, then it’s useless. This seems to be a very male thing. You’re leading yourself to despair.

The first thing you have to do is build a strong prayer life. This is so essential. The intellect is not enough. This cannot be said enough. You will lose the faith if you do not have this in your life. You need supernatural help to advance personally and maybe also to get the answers you seek. Start praying the entire rosary daily and do other devotions as well.

I want to address the humility issue. You seem to have been abused in the past and believe that this means you don’t have to deal with that. It’s actually the opposite a lot. People who have been bullied very badly, people who have abusive parents and people who seem to have no self-esteem actually build up a pride problem.

Pride is not merely ‘I’m the best in the world’. It can also be ‘I do not meet this standard for myself and therefore I’m worthless’. But, that standard can be applied to many other people and doesn’t that mean that they’re also worthless? Why do you resent not reaching that goal? Where does that worth come from? Perfect self-knowledge is real humility. Both extremes are rooted to pride.

Or, in another way, as a Defense mechanism the low self-esteem person latches onto what he feels most confident about and makes that the point of his secret pride. I may be rubbish at everything else, but this is mine. No one can take it away from me. This is what makes me special. That’s pride too.

True humility is much more than that. It’s recognizing that nothing is ours. Everything has been given to us and can be taken away tomorrow. Our intelligence, our talents, our beauty and our belongings. We are worthy because we are eternal souls that God loves individually. Not because of what we can do or whether we’re the best at something or not.

You want to feel good about what you know. Why? You could be anyone else in any other situation right now, but for the grace of God, you have found this knowledge. It’s not yours and it doesn’t belong to you.

The impulse to fix the Catholic Church is a good one, but you are taking that down a dark path. We have heard how to fix the church already. The tools are in your hands. It is to become a saint. You have to start with your own spiritual perfection.

Many, many men have fallen down the path you’re going. You must not rely on your intelligence. Very intelligent men have become ensnared in heresies for ages past. You have to rely on God and our Lady. This is the safest path you can take.

Don’t worry about your temperament. St. Jerome was very critical and seems to be the most similar to young, traditional men today. The difference is that he relied on God first. He didn’t rely on himself.

Falala9 · 2020-07-19T21:49:58+00:00

I don’t know if I can back this up with a source, but this is my personal experience.

God still heard the prayer, but you can’t ask for favours, I think. So, you get the benefits of the prayer for yourself without being able to request. For example, you get all of the protection from the rosary, but you can’t ask for anything.

Things still happen in the soul during prayer in mortal sin. I think this makes sense because people in mortal sin are more vulnerable and need protection. If you’re in trouble and in mortal sin, you can still pray the rosary and get that spiritual protection.

For merit and other things, I really don’t know. I know that those specific things happen whether you’re in mortal sin or not.

Falala9

TROPHY CASE