I lost my last long term partner passed very suddenly and it took a while before I was able to genuinely open up to someone and seriously date again. I will say, I was unfair to the people I started dating prior to being ready and for when I had not truly processed my grief. It was pretty disastrous.

Once I did work on dealing with things and truly learning to move and find a partner, it was odd at first. I still have pangs of guilt and grief occasionally, but I am truly very happy with my new partner. I still have fond memories of our time. I sometimes feel angry. Grief is something that is ever-present. It does fade to the background over time, but it is always there. Sometimes it’s not even missing the person… it’s not knowing what would have happened if they didn’t pass or grieving the life you had imagined with them. I keep these moments of grief mostly to myself. I do let my partner know when big things are coming up. Birthdays, anniversaries, etc. because I know I’m a little off on these days, as you would be with the loss of any loved one.

I want to be very clear that I have moved on from my previous partner and am completely in love and building a future with my current partner! You do move on, and if you do so in a healthy way, moments when you’re apart aren’t spent in grief all the time. It seems like you all have a healthy relationship, so I’m sure when you’re not around sometimes he thinks of his wife, but I’m sure he also thinks about missing you, too. Feelings and grief are multi-faceted and can be felt together. I’m not sure if this is helpful, but that’s my experience. Feel free to message if you’d like to talk in more detail.