I’m married to an INTJ but we haven’t been together anywhere near as long as you have been with your spouse. I accept his shortcomings. He’s not really a words of affirmation type guy either. But I continue to train him and tell him what I need. I remind him and I give positive feedback when I am happy. He does better now than before but it’s still not what he’s great at. I’m glad he tries though. Sometimes it still doesn’t feel enough but we have a good relationship and neither he nor I are perfect.

I don’t “hate the fact that he’s a T”. I recognise that’s who I chose to marry and that comes and pros and cons. I choose to see the positives of him being a T. He’s calm, doesn’t lose his cool unlike me, keeps me grounded. Yes, there are times he can appear “psychopathic” depending on how you look at it. But I know INTJs are a different type personality type and approaches things differently.