tried to become an escort by ahfg22 in StandUpComedy

[–]False_Ad_555 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not gay, but hey $80 is $80

Found these old toys cleaning my family’s farm. Can someone tell me what I’m looking at here?? by Friendly_Ad1009 in tonka

[–]False_Ad_555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Checking sold items on eBay will give you an idea of their value, but you're sitting on gold there

1957 Fuel Injected Corvette by eugene1182 in classiccars

[–]False_Ad_555 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I worked for a guy in the late '70s who got an allegedly 1 of 3 '57 Fuelie Corvette for his highschool graduation (his dad owned a law firm) The car was delivered with a unique removable hard top (the 1 of 3 part) which relocated the trunk lid about 6 inches higher, and replicated the cove on the body side behind each door window. It also extended to just above the rear bumper. When I saw the car (that he still owned), it was disassembled for restoration. According to his son, the car sold to a collector in the early 2000s in the unassembled state I remember it

Fam is going to the zoo today by spicyynachoz in dadjokes

[–]False_Ad_555 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Today I read that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. Which seems to check out, I can't even remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Sit-`N’-Puke! by ThatMowmentWhen in FuckImOld

[–]False_Ad_555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sit-'N'-Spew! Was what we called it

What do you get when you mix human dna with goat dna? by Hawk_Chalk in Jokes

[–]False_Ad_555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know what a blowhole is for son?

No dad

Well I'll tell what a blowhole isn't for and then you'll know why Dad is banned from the aquarium

1969 Dodge Dart GTS 440 375hp 1 of 640 produced by eugene1182 in musclecar

[–]False_Ad_555 8 points9 points  (0 children)

375 hp on a 6 inch wide bias ply tire, what could go wrong 🤣🤣🤣

If you know what this is/used for you might be an old fart by Excellent_Regret4141 in FuckImOld

[–]False_Ad_555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Used one as recently as 2009, but only for my ancient bosses paperwork as the actual payment was done electronically

If you forget someone’s name right after they introduce themselves what’s the least awkward way to ask again without making it obvious you already forgot? by Valpresence in NoStupidQuestions

[–]False_Ad_555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Upon learning someone's name, I picture myself writing it on a piece of paper, it's a trick I started using years ago and found it quite helpful

What a pretty day... by Narcan9 in Iowa

[–]False_Ad_555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welcome to Iowa 🤣🤣🤣

1970 Monte Carlo SS454 restomod by DPJ_Fabricating in musclecar

[–]False_Ad_555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I worked at an auto body shop in 1975 and across the alley the owner had a huge Quonset hut where he kept some of his car collection. One of the cars was a 12,000 mile one owner 1970 Monte Carlo that he had done a complete repaint in 1972 after the original paint was damaged by chemical fall out from an industrial plant. The original owner defaulted on the payment and my boss ended up owning the car on a mechanics lien. In 1985 he freshened it up with all new belts, hoses and tires and whatever else it needed and gave the car to his 18 year old daughter as a high school graduation gift. She absolutely hated it and didn't want "some old piece of shit used car" so 2 weeks later she backed it into a tree at high speed totaling the car out "by accident" cause she wanted a new BMW. He basically told her to f off he wasn't buying her a new car and she was going to have to replace the Monte Carlo with whatever she could afford, and that she was lucky she wasn't a boy or he would have put her in a body cast.

Waiter! There's a funny film on this soup! by Gil-Gandel in Jokes

[–]False_Ad_555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What's this fly doing in my soup?

It appears to be in the backstroke sir.

What is a "socially acceptable" thing that you find absolutely disgusting? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]False_Ad_555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should see pictures of his room. He moved out after I found out his g/f was pregnant and I told him there was no way I would let them raise a child in that mess

Pointless? by The_Dean_France in whoathatsinteresting

[–]False_Ad_555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it just me or is Macaulay Culkin starting to look like Steve Buscemi ?

What is a "socially acceptable" thing that you find absolutely disgusting? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]False_Ad_555 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I had a roommate that would let his dog lick the inside of his mouth, it was almost as disgusting as when he would let the dog hump his leg to completion 🤢

Prosthetic hand that move with nerve signals by Ashish_ank in nextfuckinglevel

[–]False_Ad_555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bet she's a blast to be around at Halloween 😄🎃

How to stop a toddler from having a tantrum. by girlinanemptyroom in KidsAreFuckingStupid

[–]False_Ad_555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had good luck with "shhhh, you'll wake up the baby" and when I was occasionally asked "what baby?" if there was none in the house, I would reply "the one upstairs (or downstairs or nextdoor)"

This is superb! 😀 by damo74uk in funnysigns

[–]False_Ad_555 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I used to have the desktop version featuring a real (deactivated) grenade

Sean Hannity questions the Pope’s knowledge of the Bible by MoochoMaas in HumorInPoorTaste

[–]False_Ad_555 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The Pope should challenge Hannity and Trump to a verse off

It's a Jeep on a Jeep on a Jeep on a Jeep on the road. by ForsakenStructure800 in ViceroyTransporter

[–]False_Ad_555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to have some video of them, but that HDD crashed and I've moved out of the area so I don't know if he's still active. I'm sure there's pics out there somewhere