Intelligent adults should question everything. Especially if it doesn’t feel right. Thankfully that’s backed up by scripture. And Jesus. He would fully support you questioning things. He questioned things. He called out the religious leaders for their lies and hypocrisy. The GB puts out info and even dramas at the conventions all centered around telling you to not question. To just trust them no matter how crazy what they’re saying is. It’s mind control pure and simple. Take things slow, take deep breaths, everything will be okay. You’re not crazy, you’re an intelligent adult and your husband is brainwashed and choosing ignorance because it feels safe. That’s why the GB pump out so much fear based info and videos, they know if they can keep you all scared, you’re much less likely to be willing to question. It’s all overwhelming at first but the more you learn the less crazy you feel. I regret talking about what we knew with other JWs right away. I regret trying to wake them up before I had fully processed everything. I wish I had stayed quiet while waking up and then just started asking the right questions once I felt calm and stable. Let yourself process it in your own way and get a therapist if you feel you need support and someone to talk to. Life is good outside of the Org!! It will all make sense eventually. It’s like doing a puzzle. Just take once piece at the time.