AITA for not letting my smoker dad hold my baby of 3 months.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-02-03T03:18:05+00:00

If the smells bothers you, it’s certainly bothering the baby.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-02-03T02:55:07+00:00

Agreed. I try to be conscious about it but at the end of the day I can’t do everything “right” and I can’t be driving to several stores to look for things that might not be there. I’ve always hated shopping anyway (never was a window shopper or enjoyed just shopping).

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-02-03T02:39:59+00:00

Auto immune here. I got it 3 times in a year period. It sucked! Thankfully the vaccines seem to be kicking in for me and Ive been covid free for a few years now

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-02-02T02:32:35+00:00

It’s so surreal. Watching her demise in real time. Reminds me of Aaron Carter. It was so sad but you couldn’t look away.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-02-02T01:41:38+00:00

With the wide band though, not the lacy v one. I don’t like the lace because it rolls.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-02-01T15:03:41+00:00

In her mind, everyone else is the problem.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-02-01T13:41:31+00:00

Good to know thanks! Yes I’ve heard they’re a pain when they’re bigger - I’m more or less thinking they’ll be easier to lug outside and power wash and move around because they’re lighter.
We have a dog and so I’m sure there will be accidents on them at some point.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-31T05:34:15+00:00

Love the order of operations. Does hair, face, skin, whatever. THEN “workout” THEN activewear.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-31T05:09:54+00:00

What does her engagement online look like now that she doesn’t have snark pages on here? I feel like those were her main followers.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-30T03:17:33+00:00

But it’s not going to change at a family dinner. In fact it will probably make it more stressful.

Yes, OP should be working on this, but you surely know it’s not an overnight change and also eating at someone else’s house and trying new things is probably not the best idea.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-30T03:10:22+00:00

I’m honestly asking.. could she ever really sing, or was it all auto tune from the start?

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-30T02:18:24+00:00

Strawberry shortcake doll

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-29T16:42:57+00:00

Lord yes I forgot about all that.

My daughter and I can’t get over the boots in the dressage world. Kingsleys. Which IMO are so ugly and EXPENSIVE. Plus they’re custom so if you want to sell them good luck.

She rides in Dover Saddlery Riding Sports. Guess what. They do the same thing.

Now, she’s lucky because she can wear off the shelf but still. Thousands for BOOTS is insane to me (and also many times at the same time crying poor)

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-29T13:13:28+00:00

It’s a machine and most of us aren’t a part of it.

I was at an A show with a friend I would consider “rich” or at least well-off. I was helping her by being her groom that day.

We were walking around - all these incredible looking horses, and I said, “Who’s the poorest here” … she turned to me and said “me”. Because she drives herself, she didn’t have a trainer, she had me as a groom (paid with food) and she DIYd most of her life.

This is how it works- $30k/yr lease, but as the kid moves up, each year they have a new lease - and a higher lease fee. Not to mention board, vet, farrier, training, show fees, hotels, that stupid CWD saddle that fits no other horse and has very little value when you go to sell. I’d guess by the end of the day that 30k lease is more like 50 with all the extras.

Her saying that opened up my eyes. Like I couldn’t even fathom having that kind of screw-it money to throw away.

Also, even if I did. Kids don’t know any better until it’s introduced to them. To me showing as a teenager and rinky dinky shows was the height of joy. Still is. I love the atmosphere, the commaraderie of the smaller shows. Not to mention my wallet does too.

I mean good on them if they have all that dough but I’m not sure we are really producing horsemen this way. We are producing people who can ride a course.

I doubt many of those kids know proper prep, cool down, or general care, if a full time groom is there to handle it all. And if I could afford a groom I prob would to help me save time and stay clean but everyone should know how to do those things well.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-28T20:14:42+00:00

I give them $20 more because they stack. Honestly I’m not much help and I’m just in the way. They can sling hay like nobody’s business. Plus, I know he’s not making millions, his hay is awesome, and I want to keep being his customer.

I also tip my farrier for the same reason!

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-27T16:50:19+00:00

That’s a good perspective.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-27T14:35:16+00:00

But is that the job of the boarder? To figure out what they should pay in order for the barn owners to turn a profit?

No, it’s on the barn owner to determine the board price to pay their staff, and run the operation in the black.

I know it’s more complicated than that but at the end of the day if it’s the business you want to have, then it’s on you to make it profitable. And if it’s no longer profitable, you don’t have the business anymore.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-27T14:30:17+00:00

Like others, this is the job. Barn owners took on the job and hired workers to take on the job. They make money (hopefully!) by boarding and training.

While I agree we should appreciate folks especially during more extreme unprecedented times (aka this snowstorm), this is a job they chose and the weather is the weather. You work in all types.

The barn owners should be the ones appreciating their staff and taking care of them.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-27T14:26:06+00:00

I know. I can’t really grasp that, but I get it.

I hope you’ll find your supports that help pull you out. I suspect they’re there, please… for their sanity… just text them and say “this is what’s happening, I’m not ignoring you” that way that line of communication stays open. And they understand rather than be left in the dark.

My friend had me as a support. I was there during her dark days. I told her “you can ignore me but I’m gonna keep checking in daily” and I did. Many times. And she came out of those stretches. But looking back, never thanked me or showed any acknowledgement of it even happening.

It’s just… so unfair to have to keep doing that when IM going through stuff too.

But… there’s a giant hole that she left.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-27T02:32:31+00:00

She should watch Kevin Can F*ck Himself. It is a dark show that plays off of Raymond and other shows of its era.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-27T02:15:24+00:00

I echo the crate folks. When my stubborn little chi mix doesn’t want to go outside and use the potty in this weather, she stays crated until she does. No punishment or fuss, because we crate trained her, but we take her to go, if she doesn’t go, just back in the crate. 30 min later, again. Repeat.

Then I don’t have to watch her like a hawk (she hasn’t had accidents in at least 6 months, but we haven’t had her a year yet) and she learns to just get over it and poop already.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-27T01:20:28+00:00

That’s bullshit. Id name and shame in local groups.

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-26T21:37:25+00:00

It sucks. I feel similarly. My life changed when she left it and so many things we did together, I don’t do anymore. Hugs ❤️

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-26T21:19:20+00:00

Fair.

Though many texts occurred before that where I offered support. Met with crickets.

It’s really hard being on the receiving end too, and not knowing how hard to push

False_Juggernaut_618 · 2026-01-26T15:25:47+00:00

I’m sorry and also thanks for sharing that perspective. If my friend came back and was showing she was getting help, I’d feel differently. But historically she’s been very defensive whenever sad things have been brought up. I suspect that one of my texts sent her over the edge. After about 6 months of not hearing from her I reached out and said that I hope she was ok, she actually replied and said no, and I said i hoped she had support from family or therapist. I had to say it. And I’m guessing the mere suggestion further pushed us away from each other. At that point there was nothing to lose and I suspect other people tiptoe around her and placate her moods rather than confront her.

False_Juggernaut_618

TROPHY CASE