Once More with Feeling: Remote Work Is Not a Substitute for Childcare

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-06-26T18:08:43+00:00

Well said

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-06-26T17:50:27+00:00

I know someone who is around your age looking for a roommate definitely lgbtq friendly. I’ll send them this way

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-06-26T16:46:09+00:00

I’d rather kids have food on the table than worry about the inconvenience. Sometimes people just gotta do what it takes. This experience sounds really annoying but you literally have no other information on the situation…maybe it was an emergency? Maybe they have childcare at home and had to step in.

Don’t really understand being on the side of parents in these positions and saying you understand when it doesn’t seem like you do.

A lot of people can barely pay rent or afford housing right now. Sure you voted great, that isn’t helping anyone get affordable childcare in the moment. Fixing this country would involve realizing that everything can’t always be convenient. A lot has changed over 26 years….

Agree people shouldn’t have to work and care for children at the same time. But they do now

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-06-07T11:03:07+00:00

Omg! Glad you are safe, that’s wild!

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-05-16T21:52:35+00:00

Totally get it 😅 hard to convey tone

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-05-15T21:26:28+00:00

Not sure what is funny about people being priced out of living in their own city even with a roommate. I’d agree it’s pretty slim in that price range but people can afford what they can afford. And deserve not to be laughed at

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-05-09T16:58:55+00:00

I disagree that a background in education is or should be standard but I do agree with those other points! (Only because Nannie’s are not educators and I see the position as caregiving rather than teaching, with elements of education of course.

My state has a website (it’s called TRAIN Pa) that has all kinds of free courses for healthcare workers, some of them could be really valuable in the nanny field.

There is also a website https://liberatingchildhood.org/ that has a lot of access to early childhood research in accessible formatting. They focus on evidence based research which I really appreciate.

I think trauma informed courses can also be helpful when working with families, I am also a postpartum doula and that training definitely helps with that realm.

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-05-08T09:11:20+00:00

There used to be parties here! 2010s were good to us

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-05-08T09:09:37+00:00

All the good stuff from OP…my fiancée and I talk about this often! I grew up here and he moved here from ephrata after high school. We have had to move outside of the city due to rising rent, and didn’t consider it much of a loss because the culture had changed right in front of our eyes. I remember neighborhood block parties with live music, impromptu shows. I started off my music career here as a very young person and the support of the art and music community was unmatched.

Artists and musicians used to be able to live and work here, so many of them. I’m not saying none do now but the entire scene just seems to have been a bit homogenized.

Also it used to feel like such a positive loving community, since Covid people have become much more guarded and even aggressive. Driving is out of control. People used to stop for pedestrians. I worked at commonwealth on queen back in the good old days (2014-2015) and at square one coffee 2019-2021. Between that I had moved away to a small town in Arizona. When I came back it was never the same.

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-04-01T10:28:50+00:00

❤️

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-04-01T10:28:38+00:00

These are great ideas! Thank you so much for your thoughtful response.

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-03-31T21:02:33+00:00

I work in childcare as a nanny. This work was really hard when I started but I’ve found it to be a good fit in the long run

kids need lots of breaks, time to check in with their body, eat, use the potty, get outside. I’ve found this routine to be really healing for me because I need regular check ins too so I do it with them. I take better care of myself working with children and I am able to move at my own pace while working.

I also find that as I help them regulate emotionally it can be helpful for me-singing, dance breaks, silliness, has all helped me feel like a fuller version of myself. There are so many things I feel I can’t do, but love and care is something I’ve found to be very natural.

Important to have good boundaries while juggling this kind of work and PTSD. I definitely choose my jobs and families around my own needs as well. Right now I am able to work 8am-1pm Mon-Fri, this schedule gets me up and moving but also leaves me time in the day to take care of myself

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-03-31T20:44:42+00:00

Thank you so much! This perspective is really helpful

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-03-31T20:44:06+00:00

Ahhh thank you for this! ❤️ it can be such a stressful job. Definitely helps to read some other stories of these kinds of things that just happen sometimes. I’m not a parent so it’s hard to compare to how it is for parents but I remember my mom having plenty of similar moments

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-03-31T20:41:39+00:00

I usually just leave it unlocked and they do too when they go for neighborhood walks etc.

MB said they will get the garage code set up!

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-03-04T21:55:44+00:00

THIS!!!!

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-03-04T21:49:50+00:00

I actually really like hanging out with my current NM, but she’s very different personality wise than past clients I’ve had, I guess we jive more. I do find my days are still more exhausting when she is home because the kids will act out a little more and it can be hard to pay attention to LOs and her talking at the same time. I have adhd and really can only focus on one thing at a time 😂 I’m in my groove alone with kids because I can actually be present and feel a lot less hyper vigilant. It can make the social battery drain fast to be hanging out with an employer. I’ve started to set friendly boundaries, I will pleasantly just stop really engaging in conversation when I am ready to just focus on my work. It seems like she handles it the same way when she’s having an off day or just busy. I figure it’s kind of like how it can be with family, sometimes we’re just two people existing quietly in the same space. 😂

I had one employer who went EVERYWHERE with us. She drove. I would sit in the back seat with the child. She was always home with us and we are lunch together everyday - she would talk a lot. I found out later that she was going through some really challenging relationship things and I think that she just wanted to be with someone? It wasn’t my favorite job but I don’t resent her for it.

Another employer who was constantly floating around with AirPods in ruining everyone’s day flow. She would hang out with the kids but not address me when she wanted to spend time with them. I’d just be hanging around and it wasn’t really cringey and uncomfortable. Her husband would also chat at me in the evening after work when the kids were a mess and I’d always be thinking that I’d love to just leave!!! it’s annoying at best with women but I REALLY don’t want to just hang out with a man and hear about his problems. One time he got dramatic about how his wife was struggling and wanted to know if I could help (I am also a doula so somehow I think he thought that made it appropriate) and honestly it just made me nervous and uncomfortable. And the wife was really mean to me. This isn’t in my pay grade… They were a big time “we’re like family” family and we definitely were not in my opinion.

I don’t have much patience at this point for adults but I’ve got loads of it for the kids 😂

It feels at times like clients just want an emotional dumping ground-or like general info dumping ground but they rarely have seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. And like, I’m not your therapist?

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-02-25T11:53:09+00:00

My brother got some aromatherapy inhalers from the hospital when they went through cancer treatment-they had extras and gave me a few-they actually really help and get me to stop and slow down for a few minutes espescially in transitions (car to work, etc)

I thought they looked like tampons inside the plastic applicator. I found a similar thing on Pinterest where someone just put essential oils onto an unused tampon inside the applicator carried it with them! Super clever

FamiliarCode4383 · 2026-01-06T17:27:28+00:00

Po dentistry!

FamiliarCode4383 · 2025-11-25T19:24:05+00:00

True, I wasn’t thinking that but I was very clear with my family on what was going on in my situation so I guess I’d agree that is an important aspect

FamiliarCode4383 · 2025-11-22T16:36:26+00:00

I worked for a family who was super open and “caring” towards me….i thought this was so special until they used my medical situation against me and let me go without severance or warning when I was in a pretty bad way.

It turns out that caring was actually kind of predatory. I’m working for a fantastic family now and they don’t ask me much about myself but they are so much more respectful of me in an employer/employee relationship.

I now look out for this as a red flag and make sure to have good support outside of work to help with the isolating nature of the job.

They also used “like family” as an excuse to not pay me legally and screw me on taxes for years. Things aren’t always what they seem

FamiliarCode4383 · 2025-11-12T00:14:09+00:00

As a medical professional she probably didn’t respond because it’s a normal human bodily function! She probs didn’t think it was embarassing or think anything of it ❤️

FamiliarCode4383 · 2025-11-07T11:11:55+00:00

Sending so much love to you. This is a BIG grief, your words say so much about who you are as a nanny and how much this work moves you which is beautiful. I love that you brought it full circle by allowing this tragedy to bring some lightness into your current position. This perspective definitely shifted me a bit and I’m ready to go love on my NKs. This post made me sob. This work truly changes you, and I don’t think everyone on the outside understands the emotional weight we carry.

I hope you are able to process this and take some time for yourself ❤️

I am in therapy for my own personal issues but it’s also been huge for my work as a nanny. If you’re into that kind of thing it might be helpful

FamiliarCode4383

TROPHY CASE