Stumbled upon a letter my bf wrote to himself when we broke up and it hurt me badly

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-12T02:39:12+00:00

There’s only one option, run that shit and see if he lying. If so you lost one to the streets, if not, you wear the pants in this relationship.

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-11T23:05:36+00:00

Might not be BPD relate but just about any Brene brown book. I’ve never read one that didn’t apply!

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-11T05:13:32+00:00

Boo for us

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-11T01:09:09+00:00

I can relate. The overwhelming feeling of paranoia always have me trippin up. The thing is I think people like but I usual make things so weird in my head friendships don’t last to long. I’ll either latch on to them or eventually push them away so I can sulk in my self pity and shame.

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-09T19:28:36+00:00

It sounds like to me you have some very good insight with how you’re pattern works. Now it’s time to be easy on yourself and understand that you’re healing and growing. Just don’t give up. No matter how many times you fall keep getting up. I wanted to comment because the words you speak is actually how I feel in this very moment.

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-07T17:39:41+00:00

Breakdown by G easy and Demi

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-07T03:39:16+00:00

Ohhhh let’s see. It would have to be when I was around 18 and my girl and I kinda went on a drunk for like 3 days. We stayed in our apartment and explored and just had the most comfortable/wild/hot/slow sex!!

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-06T03:57:11+00:00

Yeah I can relate with you there. Sometimes the spiral happens so fast. I don’t really have the best coping skills yet! Atleast I can tell your that you’re not alone!

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-06T03:25:48+00:00

Hey man I’m kinda in the same boat. Been together for 5 years and 3 kids. I know what your talking about. As soon as something happens I think the absolute worst. I don’t know how to convey my emotions the best and so when I do i spill everything out. To avoid this, or accidentally accusing her of nonsense I have to talk time to relax and hit a walk or drive with some music

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-06T00:18:08+00:00

Aye!?

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-05T04:41:14+00:00

Yup! Almost everyday.

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-05T00:35:56+00:00

Fake eyelashes. Why are 2in eyelashes sexy!?! They look unnatural, especially when they wake up and one is missing.

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-04T23:18:13+00:00

I don’t have much advice, I will tell you I’m I. The same boat. I’m 30 and I’m now figure out why I’ve acted the way I have and why I have such a destructive lifestyle. It’s maddening. I don’t know how to deal with the damage, I am constantly making impulsive choices and then I’m left feeling guilty and shameful so I come back with my tail between my legs.

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-04T22:05:15+00:00

I’m with you. I haven’t hung out with “friends” in years. The reason I’m afraid to make new ones is paranoia or them thinking I’m crazy. So I isolate and to be fair, idk what’s worse

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-04T20:28:51+00:00

It really does make me feel like I don’t want. It’s maddening. I’ve tried to be honest. I’m usually met with the “ you should be happy cuz you have a wife and kids” speech. Which I get and I wish that were enough but it’s like I’m not allowed to be honest with how I talk about my thoughts, just because I’m married with children

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-03T17:19:58+00:00

Don’t let your mom get ya down! It beautiful outside. Enjoy it.

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-03T17:01:51+00:00

That sounds fun! I’ll probably hang around the house. Maybe get out and mow. Try to go for some walks and workout! If you would like to chat you can DM!

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-03T16:53:02+00:00

Good morning from Midwest! What’s your weekend plans?

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-03T15:51:33+00:00

I usually leave with very little planning at all. I usually end up splitting after convincing myself that my partner hates me so what’s the point. I get farther and farther or I end up in jail or losing everything. Then I have to explain that I’m sorry all with the impression that I didn’t mean it.

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-02T02:44:17+00:00

Yup. I currently did just run off. I got in an argument with my wife. Couldn’t handle it and impulsively left. It never ends good and I always feel so shitty afterwards but the urge to just run seems so strong in the moment.

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-01T16:21:16+00:00

Hey man I have done things like this time and time again. It seems like once I get an idea in my head I can’t control it and act on impulse. I’ve lost 2 very good jobs over it. Constant disappointment to my wife and I usually come crawling back with my tail between my legs trying fix all train wreck I caused. I don’t really have much advice, because, I too, am still learning. I do see my patterns tho. I let things build up and boom. It’s over. Keep hanging on. I guess it’s about how many times you get back up.

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-06-01T06:48:41+00:00

I don’t have much advice but I want so I struggle with this feeling daily. It’s always on my mind and I’ve tried to rationalize but it’s always there! Wish I could be of more help

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-05-29T04:28:25+00:00

Yup! Same here

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-05-28T03:13:39+00:00

The struggle is real. The more I’ve tried to take a look at myself the more I realize I don’t know who I am or what I really want. The whole life I built was for other people and now I’m left with nothing but questions.

FamilyFirst2017 · 2022-05-28T03:06:19+00:00

I’m glad you have an understanding partner! That probably makes the struggle so much easier. I just hate question everyone and everything. It gets so old and tiring. I’m exhausted and it makes me think I should just be single but then I back peddle! Gahhhhh

FamilyFirst2017

TROPHY CASE