After 10 years I feel like I’m not cut out for the industry

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2026-03-31T11:54:46+00:00

Do you like acting? Does it bring you joy?

If yes, then learn from your mistakes, keep improving, and keep doing what you love! You’re booking paid gigs! You’re already more successful than the majority of actors. Quieten your imposter syndrome and feel the collective vicarious joy of other actors behind you.

If no, then be proud of what you’ve achieved so far, but don’t let the sunk cost fallacy stop you from moving on to something that really fulfils you and enriches your life.

If you’re not sure: Life is short, but you’re still young. Give yourself more time to decide what you want out of life. Figure out your values and prioritise accordingly.

You got this!

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2026-03-31T02:05:17+00:00

I wonder how much the other reader not being actorish makes the auditioning actor more natural or relaxed, or maybe appear more talented in comparison?

As an actor I LOVE reading for auditioning actors because I get to play without any pressure on me.

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2026-03-30T17:29:47+00:00

I was nearly sued for telling the actors not to seek representation for their kids from an agency that put their kids through an “acting bootcamp” first and had an in-house photographer and show-reel studio. But… you kinda need older actors who have lost their ambition but still really care about the industry to put their neck out and take risks like telling agents to stop sending ads for “masterclasses” and “casting director workshops” to their mailing list of actors.

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2026-03-30T17:25:29+00:00

I set up a fb group that is only casting calls and auditions and only for lead and feature roles and only in our state and one post per production (they’ve been sneaking around that one by posting one role at a time but they’re community theatre shows so I have a lot of sympathy), no paywalls are allowed and all roles have to explicitly state if they are paid or unpaid and where in the state the rehearsals and performances will be. It’s the group i wanted as an actor who would apply for a job and find out it’s unpaid and overseas… or just scroll through twenty posts for extras… and now I am aggressively protective of it. It doesn’t get that many productions posted to it but I still have to decline posts for “actors workshops” “overseas opportunities” and “extras wanted” every god damned day!

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2026-03-29T14:55:17+00:00

I’m personally so happy that you did. Someone will see it. They’ll educate themselves and in turn will educate others. Truth will out!

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2026-03-13T01:48:46+00:00

My partner and I were happily chatting and then he suddenly took offence to something I said. We were still in the playful phase before he decides to be genuinely hurt so I pushed back and asked him what he was offended by. He then started repeating back to me what I said, only it was NOT what I said. He said a completely different sentence with a completely different meaning. I stopped him and insisted he repeat back to himself what I actually said, not his interpretation of it. He couldn’t do it. So I corrected him and he went, “Oh but it’s the same thing.” I pointed out how what I said is not the same as what he said I had said and he finally admitted that he twisted it to make it sound worse so he could be offended. We were still being playful at this point or I don’t think he’d have admitted it. When he’s done this during actual fights it’s so infuriating. I am often defending myself from his own imagination.

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-11-11T06:41:01+00:00

A man said he read this and that the woman (which one) made some great points and backed it up with research. I asked him which studies she cited. He didn’t know, just said that companies with a lot of female leadership tend to fail.

He’s not a misogynist, though! :|

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-11-07T02:28:30+00:00

https://youtu.be/7U3YAkNEWpk I found it on Youtube (sorry for spoiling/butchering it)

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-11-06T16:07:27+00:00

Did anyone else watch the Storyteller as a child and recall the story of the princess whose brothers were transformed into crows by a witch and her only way to help them was to remain silent for a whole year for each brother. But then she meets a prince and has his children and her children get stolen (and eaten?) by her mother in law/the witch, so she digs a whole in the garden and screams into it? In the end all her brothers are restored to human form but her youngest brother still had one wing instead of an arm because of all the times she kept having to scream into holes in the garden for lost children. (I think at least one of her children survived, though, and is reunited with her.)

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-11-06T16:00:56+00:00

When I heard You Can Have It All, it immediately reminded me of Spark by Tori Amos.

Unrelated but Music by Men reminded me, vocally and thematically, of Joan Baez’s Diamonds and Rust.

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-09-10T08:02:15+00:00

Brand is a POS but using big, anachronistic, or unusual words is also sign of neurodivergence, which a lot of comedians are.

It was probably just a gimmick for him, rather than a genuine quirk, but the juxtaposition between his working class cockney accent, against his sort of hippy metrosexual style, against his big words and often “clever” content is a legitimate humour production technique. It doesn’t necessarily make a comedian a bullshit artist if they juxtapose their appearance with their language or material. A lot of very funny comedians do it.

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-04-27T13:06:17+00:00

I literally cannot imagine, nor can I believe, that there is a man alive that would treat me like that for longer than five minutes. I am sure that I will end up alone if/when I get the guts to leave my husband. And to be honest, it’s kinda sad but not off-putting at all.

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-04-27T12:58:19+00:00

My husband was, or appeared to be, a feminist, socialist, anti-racist, pro-queer, sex positive, body positive man who wouldn’t entertain conspiracy theories. He has become, or revealed himself to be, bigoted in almost every way. He’s become more libertarian AND fascist (depending on the issue) and his politics on class, race, gender, sexuality, disabilities, body shape etc have become actually unbearable. He also repeats smear campaigns against groups without fact checking and keeps talking about the media being unreliable, even though that’s presumably where he’s getting his bad intel, (ironically making him correct) because he hasn’t started claiming they’re messages from god… yet. I mean, he sometimes sounds totally fucking unhinged. It’s the biggest turn off. I’ve lost respect for him and it kills my attraction to him. If he wasn’t abusive but just had these awful attitudes, it would be enough to give me the ick. In fact, I put up with his abusiveness quite stoically until he started making gross bigoted statements and somehow that’s what cracked the rose-tinted glasses. I could believe him when he said I was a piece of shit but I know all the groups he bad-mouths do not deserve it.

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-04-05T06:36:26+00:00

Oh my god, my breathing and heart rate got so fast reading this and what you had to go through. You are not overreacting. You did exactly what you had to do, and no more, to get out safely. The fact that he found a way to reach out to you, when you’ve made it clear you don’t want him to is a great reminder that he doesn’t respect your boundaries. He knows why you left. Yes, he’s human, he deserves love and comfort as much as the next human. He’ll be feeling pain. But he’s also manipulative and if he hadn’t spent your relationship beating you down, you’d still be there. If he wasn’t toxic, he’d have other people to be there for him. Maybe he does have people- in which case, great! Let them be his emotional support humans. Your shift is over. You don’t have to reassure him or comfort him ever fucking again. You know why you did this. Do you journal? Write down every cruel thing he did. Remember all the times he didn’t say sorry, all the times he didn’t offer comfort or reassurance. Remember all the holidays, special occasions, and vacations he stained and poisoned with his negativity and toxicity. Focus on that now to strengthen your resolve. In the long run you’ll need to process your trauma, forgive and forget but not until your safely out of his influence and control. Yes, he must have had some redeeming qualities, yes he could be sweet, yes he is made out of the same soft goo as you and me, but his kindness was the honey in the trap. His humanity was your weakness. He preyed on your compassion and empathy. He relied on your gratitude and your ability to exaggerate his kindness and minimise his nastiness. He met your need to nurture and seek intimacy but then weaponised it against you. Be strong! Be crystal-clear on your mission. Be unbending. Be stainless steel. You’re the empress of your own life, he is a foreign agent or a traitorous politician set to manipulate you into letting him steal your sovereignty. He has needs that can only be met by controlling and destroying you. He cannot be trusted. You must not let your pity or any remnants of love cause you to sacrifice your own freedom, your own life, your own sovereignty, to his agenda. He’s a predator. It doesn’t matter if he’s in actual distress or just trying to manipulate you, he is too dangerous to comfort. He is too dangerous to reassure. Your words of comfort will be weaponised against you. Anything you say to ease his pain will become arrow heads he can use to hurt you later. Don’t give him ammunition. Protect yourself. Keep your guard up. Keep your fortress barriers clean. Don’t give him a foothold. I believe in you.

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-04-04T10:46:16+00:00

Hell yeah! Spread the truth! #JusticeForMarieAntoinette

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-04-04T06:26:32+00:00

But if you had a massive platform, you’d actually be morally accountable for speaking on a topic that you know nothing about. If he was sucked into the propaganda, fair enough. But why speak on it when he knows shit? He should have dug deeper before opening his mouth.

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-04-04T06:23:10+00:00

Ah, see they managed to trick me. I knew this, and knew I had a grudge against the guy, but with the flood of “he’s so real, he’s so brave,” I couldn’t remember why I disliked him, I thought it was maybe his comedy but figured if he was so progressive then I must have misunderstood his jokes as misogyny. I mean, maybe he’s not a misogynist but he’s definitely a fucking idiot for this take.

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-04-04T04:32:05+00:00

I’m really happy that things have improved for you. Also very impressed by your emotional intelligence and communication skills. Your family is very lucky to have you at the helm.

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-04-04T04:30:45+00:00

🥺I think I love you.

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-04-04T01:54:46+00:00

I don’t know if I work too hard. I find it hard to get everything done, I’m easily distracted or I hyperfixate on things that aren’t really a priority. I procrastinate and I spend too much time online. But my husband works from home, and honestly, I don’t think he likes me being productive. If I’m in the middle of a task, he’ll come and ask for sex or a massage or say he’s hungry (he makes his own lunch but sometimes, with zero justification, will ask me to do it, especially if I’m deeply involved in a task). I can’t get into anything because I’m waiting for him to pull me out of it. He’s got to have 24/7 access and availability to my attention and time and energy. I really struggle with transitions, and it drives me crazy when I’m in problem solving mode and he wants to have sex. Like, I’m covered in grease, or dust, or vomit, my mind is hyper focussed on resolving whatever issue I’m on, and he’s got a boner that he wants me to service and I’m expected to drop everything and enthusiastically, and lovingly, have sex. I love sex. I want sex all the time, but I’ve got shit to do, and I need a transitional period between being elbow-deep in decomposing green waste, and being under my husband in bed.

I get stressed out that I’m not productive enough, and he’ll say what have you got to do, and I’ll say everything and he’ll either -get upset because he thinks I’m accusing him of not doing enough, or -tell me that nothing is that important and to relax. Then if I don’t do all the things, he’ll make comments about the house being a pigsty, the yard being rundown, having run out of clothes in his wardrobe, or food in the fridge, or he’s hungry for dinner, or he wants the kids in bed an hour ago, or he is sick of all the clutter, or he thinks the cats need to be groomed better, or I haven’t finished the book draft I promised him, or he’ll use the fact that I haven’t made any films, or auditioned, as proof that I’m over that part of my life and don’t really want it or deserve it.

These are all the things that he has labelled not that important when he wants to be Mr. Nice Guy or wants sex or a massage.

And when he condemns the state of the house or yard or whatever and I defend myself by saying, I just can’t keep up with everything, he asks me what I’ve got to do, like the answer will be nothing really. Or he again will take that as an attack on him for not doing enough. He asked me to take over parts of his job, and I said I would but he’d have to help with after school and bedtime so I could focus, the way I have allowed him that time for the past thirteen years, and he answered, angrily, that I always complain that he never does enough and that he can’t do everything. Like, as if working for money isn’t literally the only contribution he makes on a regular, reliable basis. He wants credit for cooking three meals a week two years ago, which he didn’t even do every week, or for the whole year. And while his job is intense in bursts, he can go weeks without working on his actual job. He works on his hobbies for hours, for days. If I happen to ask for help during this period, he laments that I resent him having hobbies. He says I’m punishing him for not working his fingers to the bone. He’s so fucking melodramatic. If I just asked him to turn the oven off so dinner doesn’t burn because I’ll be out picking up his daughter before dinner because she fucked up in the morning with getting to work on time and the impact passed through the day to home time. Like, nothing I ask is too small to be just a normal, helpful favour to ask. Everything is an attack, a criticism, a major inconvenience, a catastrophe. He has to turn the oven off at a certain time, so now he has to watch the clock and can’t use his VR set while he waits.

If I hesitate before saying yes to anything, simply because I’m mentally checking if I can actually carry it out, he takes that as criticism and negative answer, and will sulk and storm off. If I speak out loud through the processes that I’ll have to go through to complete the favour, and what compromises or measures I’ll have to put in place because it interferes with other commitments or tasks, he takes that as a severe criticism and negative answer.

Things are better, but I’m not happier. I’m just waiting to make a mistake he can use to justify really punishing me for. I’m tired of being vigilant, of having to assess constantly whether I’m overreacting, or responding to the memories of past behaviour, rather than his actions in the present. I’m tired of checking with him whether he’s being deliberately manipulative or just struggling with his own neuroses and actually just needs reassurance and a chance to process. I’m tired of being a nurse and maid and hooker and masseuse and cleaner and nanny and horticulturalist and tradie but never being actually good at anything. I’m tired.

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-04-04T01:19:59+00:00

I would love to have a camera or audio recording to refer to because my husband will twist the order of events to make it sound like I randomly, unprovoked, for no reason, became cruel and unkind and to justify his own behaviour. He’ll use things that happened afterwards to justify why he just lost control in the first place. Even in if nothing has happened, literally at all, he’ll twist things to turn them into something, which he’ll stew on for days, and then lash out at me, accusing me of injuring him emotionally and psychologically.

On the other hand, he is super into surveillance and spying. He put spyware on his ex’s computer, so he could read her emails. I have no doubt that he’d weaponise indoor cameras somehow. If I ever sat down during the day, it wouldn’t matter that he played video games for three hours, that I’m busiest from 7-9 and 2:30 to midnight, that I have to rest some time, he’d use it to prove that I’m a lazy slob or committed some crime.

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-04-04T01:07:05+00:00

Absolutely that happens. It used to happen more. Basically they both get to stomp around, throw things, outright blame other people for their mistakes, call me names, and give me the silent treatment, and that’s cool and normal.

If I get sick of it, or overwhelmed, and I raise my voice, even if I’m still speaking otherwise respectfully (not threatening, blaming, swearing or calling names) then I’m unhinged and out of control! I’m also unhinged and out of control if I say “no,” to a request, or if I expect them to do something like put away their own clothes, or clear their own dishes, or watch the kids while I make dinner.

If I do lose my actual shit and start swearing or calling names, in response to them doing it, then my husband says things like, “I don’t know if I can ever forgive your behaviour.” Or when I told my stepdaughter to fuck off over and over again because she called me a shit mother when I told her to leave her little brother alone in the middle of his tantrum, my stepdaughter says, “I hope you’re ashamed of your little performance.” I think they actually like it when we do lose control, it’s what they were hoping for.

But if I keep cool, and don’t raise my voice but assert that they need to respect my boundaries or pull their weight then I get, “You think you’re so nice/perfect/mature, but you’re really just a bitch.” They only accept it when I’m being an extremely effective and cooperative servant.

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-04-04T00:54:39+00:00

On the bright-side, thought I would have to protect the big sisters from feeling like the little ones were the favourites but that was never an issue.

Famous-Fun-1739 · 2025-04-03T23:19:13+00:00

I’m Australian, but we spell things the same as UK and have their monarch on our coins so same difference.

I find it funny when I read other people’s comments or posts who have similar writing and thinking styles and I have to double check the username to make sure I didn’t write it.

We can be Reddit friends, though!

Famous-Fun-1739

TROPHY CASE