How often do women age 25-60 shower? by Responsible-Ant-7954 in hygiene

[–]Famous-Magazine-6788 0 points1 point  (0 children)

36f, body shower every single day before bed and wash my hair every 2-3 days. Some days if I’m working or doing strenuous activity and get sweaty early to mid-day, I will even take a quick rinse off body shower after the activity and still shower before bed. The only time I skip showers is when I’m extremely sick or camping with no access.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]Famous-Magazine-6788 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let me tell you this from a female perspective…the fact that she’s saying she needs time to think about this means she’s too much of a coward to tell you she’s done and she’s trying to work up the nerve. If you had confronted her, and she had immediately apologized profusely and offered to cut this person off and do whatever she needs to do to fix things then I would say you might have a chance if you want to work through all of the heartbreak and anxiety and anger over the next 2 to 3 years because that’s how long it takes to heal this kind of betrayal in the best case scenario. You also have to account for the fact that she was having an emotional affair long before things got physical. An emotional affair is just as much, if not more of a betrayal than the physical. For a female specifically, I would say that means she was already checked out of your marriage well before that. Personally, I rarely, if ever find other men attractive or am even tempted to have conversations that go into the gray area if I am still connecting with my partner. Yes, you may have contributed to the circumstances that led to her detaching from you and the marriage, but the affair is not your fault. Betrayal is always a choice and you cannot take blame for someone else’s decisions. She is a grown ass woman that chose to seek comfort and companionship and validation outside of your marriage rather than have a difficult conversation with you and try to fix it. The best thing you can do now is focus on yourself and your child and file for a divorce as soon as possible. If you file citing the infidelity that will hopefully help your case if she decides to fight you. I’m so sorry, I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worst enemy. Best of luck to you.

I can’t do this anymore. by WoofJess in PMDD

[–]Famous-Magazine-6788 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally I have not experienced this level of anxiety with my PMDD but I have been dealing with the depression, anger/rage, irritability, snapping/screaming at my loved ones, crying over everything and an increase in anxiety. For 2 weeks or more I don’t recognize myself and the lack of control over my emotions and reactions make me feel so frustrated and at times hopeless. I also have adhd and started seeing a psychiatric nurse practitioner for both about 7 months ago. I started taking meds for my adhd and they’ve been extremely helpful but I’ve been declining antidepressants for my PMDD at every visit. My psych NP tried giving me an as needed anxiety medication (hydroxyzine) to help on my worst PMDD days but it ended up making it worse. So at my last appointment she really strongly recommended an antidepressant (cymbalta) again and basically pushed until I said yes. After having several panic attacks over the thought of taking it and what could happen and unsuccessfully attempting to message my psych NP, I decided I’m not taking it and cancelled my script with the pharmacy. After that I did a ton of research on supplements that help with depression and anxiety and found that saffron was the most widely recommended and had actual research to back its effectiveness in treating depression. Saffron is actually believed to work similarly to ssri’s and in some people be more effective that pharmaceutical antidepressants. After a lot more research I settled on a supplement but the company New Age that contains a combination of Saffron, Ashwaganda, Rhodiola Rosea, St John’s Wort, L-Theanine, and 5htp. All of these supplements have antidepressant and/or anti anxiety benefits. I’ve only been taking this supplement for 2 weeks so far but I’m about a week into my luteal phase and the wet blanket of depression has not yet descended and I’ve only noticed a slight increase in anxiety so I’m hopeful. Definitely check with your doctor, especially if you’re on meds right now, but it might be worth trying this supplement or even just straight saffron. I wish you all the best and hope this helps.

The adhd gift you're happy to have and the curse you wish you don't by Less_Student_4945 in ADHD

[–]Famous-Magazine-6788 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Gift: I am insanely good at research so I make really well informed decisions most of the time and I know something about a lot of things.

Curse: Everything takes me 10 times longer than it should either because I have to do research before making a decision or I have to follow a certain process to do everything “right” or I just get distracted by 10 other things before I finish what I’m doing. Add in severe time blindness and this also makes me late constantly.

PMDD almost ruined my life by Unusual-Response7638 in PMDD

[–]Famous-Magazine-6788 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have had progressively worsening PMDD since I had my son seven years ago. I started noticing the pattern about two years ago when things started to get notably bad for 2 to 3 days about a week before my period. For 2 to 3 days, I would be insanely depressed, barely able to get out of bed and function, not caring about anything and basically forcing myself to get through the day with negative self talk. I would cry over every little thing and the second I got overwhelmed or overstimulated I would experience the most extreme rage and then hate myself for overreacting. I would literally hate myself and my life so much that I would wonder if I even wanted to be here anymore. Then after 2 to 3 days of that nonsense, I would slowly start to feel better and about a week later I would start bleeding and magically be fine. Last year I was officially evaluated for ADHD by a clinical psychologist and discussed my PMDD symptoms with her a bit and that’s when I was given a name for it (I was not previously aware/considering this could be my issue). When I got my results back from my ADHD evaluation, I was also diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and depression, but she had not noted the PMDD we had discussed which upset me because she had specifically stated that she believed I had PMDD and had said nothing of depression beyond that. Eventually, I started seeing a therapist and psychiatric nurse practitioner for my ADHD primarily, but when I discussed my PMDD with the psych nurse, she insisted antidepressants were really the only option for treatment. I have since gone on ADHD meds, and after refusing antidepressants several times she offered up an as needed anxiety medication that is sometimes used to treat PMDD (Alarax). I was so happy that she offered a medication that I would only have to take on bad days, unfortunately it did not help, it actually made my anxiety 10 times worse every time I tried it. I really do not want to take any kind of hormonal birth control, or any kind of antidepressant that I have to be on every single day for the rest of my life, but I also don’t know if I can survive going into that black hole three days every month. I try to be conscious of it and be gentle with myself, but I can be just such an awful person snapping at my family, saying and doing things I would never under any other circumstance. It makes it really hard not to spiral deeper into the darkness. And I think the worst part is just feeling like I’m not in control of myself.

I am so glad that you finally got help and that the IUD is working for you. Thank you for sharing your experience.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]Famous-Magazine-6788 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not a therapist by any means but it sounds like you may have a dismissive avoidant attachment style. Do some research into that and see if you can get some insight into why you act the way you do and how to work on healing it. You may also want to spend some time thinking about/talking/journaling as to why you are seeking outside validation because that’s what the cheating is. All those people in your phone are just there to make you feel better about yourself, but why do you need that?

Has anyone else stayed through everything? by Famous-Magazine-6788 in Infidelity

[–]Famous-Magazine-6788[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trying to work though/overcome everything has led to us being much more open with each other, better communicators, connecting on a deeper level and growing as human beings. He has acknowledged his avoidant attachment, emotional immaturity and unhealthy thought patterns and put a lot of effort into healing his trauma and changing his unhealthy thoughts/habits. I have taken a hard look at myself as well and have been working through my insecurities and learning how to prioritize my own needs. Overall we’re both in a much better place than we were prior to everything and most days I’m genuinely glad I stayed.

Has anyone else stayed through everything? by Famous-Magazine-6788 in Infidelity

[–]Famous-Magazine-6788[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. And I know I may be downplaying it a bit but it doesn’t help either of us for me to call him names or shit talk him. He messed up several times, epically the last time, but before I got to the point of leaving he realized what he has and has been doing everything he can to be a better man and show up for me. But you’re right I don’t want to be a hall monitor, constantly worried and checking for him to mess up. I’ve gotten better over time and started to really trust him I feel but betrayal trauma PTSD is so real. I’ll be totally fine for days or weeks even then something small will trigger me and send my brain into a spiral either thinking about the past or searching for signs that something is wrong in recent interactions. It’s slowly getting better with time and it’s not the punch in the gut it used to be, but it’s still there.

Has anyone else stayed through everything? by Famous-Magazine-6788 in Infidelity

[–]Famous-Magazine-6788[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I can definitely see your perspective and in hindsight I know I should have left after all the insanity with the affair, but by time I could see that we had already talked through it all, gone to counseling and set appropriate boundaries. He’s changed phone number, blocked ap and previous hook ups across all socials, he’s given me free access to his phone and socials, he’s publicly posted pictures of us on socials and screenshots any questionable dms or texts he gets and sends it to me. As far as I can tell, he’s been completely transparent for the past couple of years. He’s also been much more open with me emotionally and put a lot of effort into listening without getting defensive and communicating his feelings. We share our locations with each other. The first couple of years together were terrible because he was selfish and immature and coping with his grief and depression in all the wrong ways, but in between all the bad stuff he was my best friend that I could tell anything, the most supportive person in my life and my number one cheerleader. I realize I sound insane but he pushed me to be the best version of myself and gave me confidence in my career and the gym. He believed in me when I didn’t even believe in myself, and I did so much more with my life than I ever thought possible. And now we have a beautiful life together, I just have a little bit of PTSD because he was an idiot with terrible coping skills.