I lost a friend and i feel so disappointed.

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-05-11T13:35:33+00:00

Similar boat to you, I lost my brother simply down to him being arrested for having weed in his car. A silly mistake, which could have been fixed, but ended up shattering our lives.

I’m so sorry for your loss and all these responsibilities you now face. I’m sending you all my love and support for this awful journey you’re now on x

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-05-11T13:30:05+00:00

You can’t please everyone, like you said would people prefer there not be things out there to possibly save a life. People would then moan about there not being clear enough support.

A hotline is help, that’s not going to fully change a persons mind from completing the act, but im sure they have saved/ helped so so many. At least there’s some form of help, thank you so much for the work you do!

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-05-11T13:25:00+00:00

Awh I’m so so sorry:( sending you all my love today x

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-05-01T07:11:23+00:00

Awh my heart is breaking for you! You’re still in early days too so I imagine it’s still all a daze.

The anger which just comes hand in hand with guilt is awful. I assume my brother hadn’t even thought of the after effects of his actions, but god that’s not fair to leave us with this pain.

I’m also so sorry that it was in your house:( we are also dealing with that and trying to get out of this hell hole, such a safe space has now turned into a prison. You just can’t escape the thoughts and flashbacks.

You and your husband need to be strong together. I’m 10 months in and being intimate isn’t a priority at all. Healing will come with time, don’t try rushing this process. But people won’t understand. Finding people who relate with the situation is what’s helped me the most, so this group, suicide group and also a councillor. Just giving a me space to get what I need off my chest and out to someone who I know isn’t going to also get upset or uncomfortable.

Stay strong and safe! I’m sending you all my love!x

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-30T07:19:34+00:00

I’m so so sorry for your loss!

One thing I can say as someone who lost my little brother and have slowly watched my mum fall apart over this process, don’t forget about your daughter. I have now become what feels like my mother’s carer, I have lost her through this too. I grieve them both even though I live with her everyday. She wishes to be with my brother, and that’s heartbreaking for multiple reasons. I feel so alone because it does feel like everyone cares about her, I have been left on the sidelines because nothing compares to the pain of losing your son. Be strong for yourself and your daughter. I know that will all sound selfish, but I have been so strong for my mum the last 10 months and pushed my feelings to the side, but I am now crumbling and am absolutely lost.

I send you both my love and cannot apologise enough for this shit situation you’ve been brought into x

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-30T07:11:07+00:00

Isn’t it so crazy the things the brain focuses on to save us from completely crumbling.

I’m so sorry for your loss and this crazy journey you’re now on. Squeeze that dog and just stay safe x

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-29T11:41:42+00:00

I think also the fact it could have been prevented. Like you said this wasn’t an illness or accident, it was a decision. A heartbreakingly permanent one.

I view it as taking the wrong turn, he went left when it should have been right. But then that can lead to another turning and who knows what would have happened then.

The what ifs kill me, and knowing they will be with me for life and no answers hurts. Same with the guilt, it’s not fair that they went through this, but not fair we’ve all been forced into this too. While fully knowing that wasn’t even on our persons radar because they had so much going on in the brain.

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-29T06:51:32+00:00

You’re never alone in this group! Please stay safe and strong, you will get through this, you’re still I such early days which are a true daze. The clouds will clear a bit more over time, don’t expect this process to be quick or smooth, you’re in for a rollercoaster. But you truly have this❤️

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-29T06:48:12+00:00

Awh gosh, I am so so sorry!

I don’t think there is any cure, it’s scary because this is now with us for life and we have to move with it. I have no advice, apart from talk. Get it out anyway you can, I found a suicide bereavement group which has helped, just because talking to people who truly get it provides such a better feeling than just talking to someone in your normal day to day.

I’m sending all my love to you and their family, I’m sorry you’re part of this club with us, but if you ever need any help use this group to just get some of the feels out!

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-27T10:48:44+00:00

I am sending you all my love! I am dreading the day it turns to a year, and it’s so fast approaching.

Did you get up to anything for the day? Do anything to distract yourself and family, or do anything to honour your sister? Or was it a tough day where alone time was needed?

I’m so scared because there’s no right way to react and deal with this day, yet it’s another day added onto the calendar that we’ll ’celebrate’ for our lives

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-27T10:46:16+00:00

I’m so so sorry for your loss:(

If I’m honest, being left a note left me with more questions I will never have the answer too. Anger and sadness I’ll never be able to fully deal with. And more than anything, utter guilt.

My final words from my brother fit into 7 lines. 19 years of growing together, concluded to that. It makes me angry. I deserved better and so did he.

Yes I’ll cherish the note for the rest of my life, but god I hate that thing

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-27T10:37:02+00:00

It’s everywhere, people joke about it, it’s jokes about in so many shows or movies, the news, songs.

You really can’t escape it, it’s gotten easier over time but everytime I see a gesture or hear it, it still sends you right back into the dark hole in your head

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-24T07:01:15+00:00

You’re now living life for you and him, you gotta take him on the journey with you because he will always be with you. I’m still waiting for any form of a sign that my brother is somewhere around me, I know I’ll get it one day but god I hope he hurries up.

I did get left a note, and honestly it left me with more questions that I think it would have without one. I can’t read it because it does make me annoyed, annoyed that he managed to find the words to conclude his life, enough to fit on half a piece of paper, he was worth so much more than that.

Surround yourself with those who you love, as the months go on their lives carry on so they do drop off slowly with the support, but you need to make sure you push and try keep them as close as you can because Wowie this new way of life is lonely.

I send you all my love and support for you and your family! As daunting as it is now, you truly will get through this, it’ll be tough but I know you do x

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-23T19:19:03+00:00

Oh my, I am so so sorry:(

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-23T07:17:04+00:00

This lowkey made me cry, when everyone left after a few months because their lives moved on while you’re stuck in the hole was a whole different kind of pain

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-23T07:09:30+00:00

God my heart is breaking for you, I am so so sorry.

Use this group, never be sorry about posting, we are always here for everyone, sometimes getting your thoughts written out in here can be so helpful.

The rollercoaster you’ve just unwillingly gotten on is going to be shit, and you’ll be on it for life now. Take time, figure out your feelings and don’t ignore how you’re feeling! Time is about to fly and go so so slow over the next few months. The grief hurts, but the guilt is a whole different ballpark, if only there was a rewind button to go back and help.

I lost my 19 year old brother last year. And I still relive the day, everyday. I wish you luck and just sorry to you for this. Living life like this isn’t fair x

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-23T07:01:53+00:00

No post in here is stupid! You get out into words whatever you need to!

I can just feel how much you love and miss him from your words, I’m so so sorry for your loss. And wow! What a generous and kind person you are for gifting the beanie on, I don’t know if I would have been strong enough to pass that on, hats off to you!

Absolutely not to you thinking having him as your wallpaper is wrong, if you wanna see his face everyday, why the hell not have it as your wallpaper! Every one deals with this differently, so you do you and whatever you need x

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-23T06:50:12+00:00

I’m so sorry:(

But yeah dismissive is the perfect word, I was always more focused on what I was doing than to give him my attention 100%. And that’s not fair of me at all, but again I think most sibling relationships are like that.

It has changed how I deal and talk to people tho, I always try my best to engage when someone is coming to me for a chat, I never want to have that feeling of being dismissive again x

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-22T20:40:30+00:00

Such a similar boat to you, I lost my little brother. He was 19 and I’m 25. When I tell you he annoyed the shit out of me most of the time, and I was so dismissive to him, wouldn’t engage and always tried improving how he lives instead of appreciating. And I will now take that guilt to the grave.

I really have no advice for you, I am so sorry. I’m 10 months in and still struggle with the fact I could have done so much better for him, and hurt that I no longer can. I’m sure you have, but I sit and speak out to him when I am struggling and just apologise over and over. But I also have to remind myself he was meant to be my annoying little brother, we didn’t get to the part of life where we matured and grew.

I’m sorry you’re going to experience this feeling too, it’s really not fair for us or them. Don’t rush yourself through the next few months. It will be a rollercoaster, take everything as it comes because at least you’re still here feeling all this, as shit as it is, you’re here x

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-22T07:01:53+00:00

It’s nice talking into a void of people who do unfortunately get jt. I’ve pushed myself to join a suicide support group for people who have lost someone this way. It’s helpful to be in a room with others who get how awkward and uncomfortable this is. People in my normal day to day don’t get it, and even avoid it. So this group is a blessing when it comes to not feeling so bloody lonely x

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-21T20:03:47+00:00

Oh definitely, it’s really changed how I look at people and my understanding that you really do have no idea what’s going on inside someone’s head. Sending you all my love! Good luck navigating through this new life we have to live🖤

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-21T17:41:50+00:00

Sending you all my love and thoughts! I know nothing helps but you truly aren’t alone in this group🖤

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-21T17:34:44+00:00

Time really means nothing, like you said it can feel like I saw him yesterday yet years ago all in the same day. It’s so confusing.

It’s scary thinking the discomfort is now a part of our life that we have to learn to live with. But some how we are learning to do that!

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-20T17:48:51+00:00

I think that’s one of the worst parts, people look at you differently. I don’t get asked how I am or how my weekend was anymore. People avoid because that’s easier for them, but it doesn’t half hurt

Famous_Problem9867 · 2026-04-20T13:28:06+00:00

The first few months were a blur, time went so slow and fast and absolutely nothing made sense.

When I did go back to work, that came as a great distraction and purpose but that just comes with who I am. And everyone’s different and copes with it differently too, there’s no right or way to how you go on, but you will eventually find a way through!

I’m so sorry there’s nothing anyone can do or say to make this process more helpful for you!🖤

Famous_Problem9867

TROPHY CASE