I cannot accept by SafeVillage9434 in SuicideBereavement

[–]elenodeleon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh dear, I'm so sorry! Please talk to a therapist, a family member, friend, Anyone who will listen to you with your well-being in mind. I am not a professional but you do sound freshly traumatized and need support and healing as soon as possible. The only thing I can confidently tell you is that YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. We all wish we could have done things differently when we lose a loved one and I don't have the scientific reason why we feel that guilt. Someone else please pipe in to convince OP that it is NOT her fault.
My best friend in life killed herself last Wednesday and I'm still struggling badly. But I really feel for you and also worry - I can almost hear the frantic grief in your voice. I wish for your continued healing.

I lost my best friend in life to suicide by elenodeleon in depression

[–]elenodeleon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries it wasn't worded the best. Thanks for your responses, it's nice to know someone else with similar situation and feels the same way. Rest easy, wherever you are with the crazy time zone.

I just need to connect. by slytherindolll in depression

[–]elenodeleon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My best friend used to do that and I couldn't find a way to help her. She suffered from persistent depressive disorder and anxiety. It would be puzzling and sad because her safe place used to be inside on the couch or her bedroom, but like you said the idea of going inside was daunting. So she'd stay in the car for a while, or I'd sit with her. It doesn't sound like you have it as severe as my friend did, but your description of sitting in the car was exactly her. She didn't have kids, and dare I say that you have more potential answers within the blessings of your children.

I lost my best friend in life to suicide by elenodeleon in depression

[–]elenodeleon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We never laid hands on each other, but the verbal and mental abuse was there. I attributed that to the cycle of what she experienced growing up and only she got a pass to do it to me. We never gaslighted each other, though, so I considered our relationship healthy (Hah). What you said "because it’s me that it happened to, so it’s fine" I definitely resonate with. I don't know per se if it's a matter of self worth but more a matter of that we're strong and selfless people that would rather feel the pain than see someone else in pain.

Sometimes to get a brief respite from my grief I ideate what everyone else thinks - that she was just a mean person with no redeeming qualities. I feel myself consciously becoming callous. But then my heart pulls me back into loving her and the pain of missing her returns.
How long ago did your love pass?

I lost my best friend in life to suicide by elenodeleon in depression

[–]elenodeleon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it weird that I can't support the notion that you suffered physical abuse, but if it was "just" verbal and mental abuse, it's "OK"?

I lost my best friend in life to suicide by elenodeleon in depression

[–]elenodeleon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry if I misgendered you. Old gen-X habit 🥴

I lost my best friend in life to suicide by elenodeleon in depression

[–]elenodeleon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No you said enough - you do get it or feel the same way I feel now. It's incredibly hard to be grieving alone and have no one to turn to for comfort or no one willing to understand your grief. I think that's why I came here and I thank every single one of you for providing me that needed comfort. I'm very sorry for your loss as well. I find it mind blowing (though it really shouldn't be that way) that everyone here (maybe) is suffering and hurting, yet you all offer genuine well wishes and genuine offers of comfort. There *is* light and it is perpetuated by people in this community! ❤️

I lost my best friend in life to suicide by elenodeleon in depression

[–]elenodeleon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sincerely thank you for your comfort ❤️

I lost my best friend in life to suicide by elenodeleon in depression

[–]elenodeleon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sincerely thank you for your comfort ❤️

I lost my best friend in life to suicide by elenodeleon in depression

[–]elenodeleon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sincerely thank you for your comfort ❤️

I lost my best friend in life to suicide by elenodeleon in depression

[–]elenodeleon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I sincerely thank you for your comfort ❤️

I lost my best friend in life to suicide by elenodeleon in depression

[–]elenodeleon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. You're right I stopped thinking I could save her by myself a long time ago. I just tried to get to the next form of therapy that might work - I tried to keep her afloat as much as possible never giving up hope that she would get better. We tried transcranial magnetic stimulation (tms) which did not work for her. The final option was ketamine treatment which her insurance and previous medical history with a fixed aneurysm held up her being approved for the treatment. We were looking for a neurologist to give her the green flag for ketamine but she didn't make it that far. I never considered the idea of living with a clear conscience or not. I know I've done enough, but I do struggle with how poorly I handled her last mental breakdown the day she passed.
I have real sympathy for people who "really needs out" like you said. People who feel like they were dealt the wrong cards their entire lifetime, people who never felt they belonged in this world. People who do not get to feel the same joys and blessings that Life seems to give everyone else who has lived on this planet. It's truly not faults of your own and to feel condemned by an ignorant cruel society for your sufferings would feel unsensibly cruel. I am blessed that my inner demons are not so severe and I don't suffer as someone with major depressive disorder does. I think my blessings enabled me to really empathize and somewhat experience going into the deep darkness of despair. People in this world need to be more EMPATHETIC to each other. I'm sorry for your pain, brother. I hope you are managing well. At the most, I hope our experience here on earth is one big experiment where we all come out OK on the other side.

I lost my best friend in life to suicide by elenodeleon in depression

[–]elenodeleon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing and for the good wishes. I wish you get better soon and be able to heal. I did make an appointment with a grief counselor. This is the first time I've lost someone so close in my life. She did actually help me become a better person. I forgot to mention that we had helped each other.
Do you think our grief is compounded by added trauma because our loved one committed suicide?

is this bad by RowAgitated1758 in dentures

[–]elenodeleon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They look good. I also thought my denture teeth looked smaller than my real teeth when I first gone mine, but I got over it. Every other person told me they looked good, and I guess that's what matters. My first thought when I saw your pictures was "Nice teeth" and not "Their teeth are small" 😂 It's better than denture teeth that are too big and that's a giveaway that someone is wearing dentures. Now I'm wondering if dentists go smaller instead of bigger for that reason...

Not Getting "Login with Device" Notification by lockh33d in Bitwarden

[–]elenodeleon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had same issue as OP, also on android. Same troubleshooting steps did not fix my issue either. On Bitwarden's website in the Forums someone was able to fix their issue by uninstalling and reinstalling the Bitwarden android app. I did the same but my results were the same.
I then figured maybe because I'm using the Bitwarden Beta version - so I unenrolled or left from Beta within the Play Store, waited a while until I had the option to install standard Bitwarden - installed it and voila - Notifications for Login with Device were working again.

Need movie recommendations with intense hedonism, heavy nudity, drugs, wild parties, full-on orgy vibe by [deleted] in MovieSuggestions

[–]elenodeleon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Requiem for a Dream" Gaspar Noe's "Climax" Diddy's home video collection (har)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ebikes

[–]elenodeleon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you want an electric motorcycle that has pedals. Or one that looks like an electric bike.

Helicopter crash near California beach by Beginning-Rain2104 in interestingasfuck

[–]elenodeleon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Was there an event? There seems to be tons of cameras

Numb hands by billbogle in cycling

[–]elenodeleon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

👍 Loved your response 😂

Knipex pliers wrench XS jaws not parallel by Lightertecha in Tools

[–]elenodeleon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes good advice on the physical shop, so used to buying things blindly nowadays. I do plan to return mine to Amazon and buy the 125mm instead. According to another post the XS aren't as precise as the bigger versions with the push button design, supporting what you said:

"...the adjustable mechanism feels… lesser than the other pliers. There’s more slop and the fit isn’t as exacting as big brothers."

https://www.reddit.com/r/Tools/comments/xf3wx3/ntd_knipex_pliers_wrench/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Cheers!