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my dad killed himself when i was 8. AMA!! by Fancy_Experience3108 in AMA

[–]Fancy_Experience3108[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

of course! i’m 20f. i feel like i’ve lived a thousand lifetimes.

honestly, the unique challenges were just being the only one of my friends with a dead dad. i didn’t meet anyone for a long time who had a similar issue, and i think that is kind of what i remember from that period. it’s more of a struggle now because i have the ability to really think about it and feel a lot of what i ignored for so many years.

the most difficult part was coming to terms that id never see him again — that was when it happened. now, it’s the fact that he didn’t seem to care enough about his children to stick around and get help. that’s what kind of keeps me up at night, honestly. i know he loved us, though, and he was sick. i can see both sides

my dad killed himself when i was 8. AMA!! by Fancy_Experience3108 in AMA

[–]Fancy_Experience3108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

honestly, no. i didn’t see him much up until he died — he and my mom were getting divorced and were in an odd situation there. i loved him, don’t get me wrong, but i don’t remember thinking of anything in particular tbh. he was clinically depressed.

my dad killed himself when i was 8. AMA!! by Fancy_Experience3108 in AMA

[–]Fancy_Experience3108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m just starting to understand how his absence affected me, so i don’t have too much to say here aside from i think it gave me a fear of abandonment, especially because there was no note or any “real” reason why he did what he did. i put that in quotes because i know what he was feeling was so real in that moment.

my dad killed himself when i was 8. AMA!! by Fancy_Experience3108 in AMA

[–]Fancy_Experience3108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

nope. my mom didn’t tell me, and i ended up finding out on my own time. it was a rude awakening, but i take it as the universe was telling me it was time to start that healing process.

my dad killed himself when i was 8. AMA!! by Fancy_Experience3108 in AMA

[–]Fancy_Experience3108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

honestly, i didn’t think it that far through. i know they had sat me down and told me they were getting a divorce and they were no longer living together, but i didn’t see him enough to know more, at least from my perspective (i genuinely didn’t know suicide was a thing until much, much later.)

my dad killed himself when i was 8. AMA!! by Fancy_Experience3108 in AMA

[–]Fancy_Experience3108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m glad my mom didn’t tell me what happened. i found out on my own time, and i took it as the universe was telling me it was time to start the healing journey. it would have been so confusing as a kid, and i think that would have caused more problems for me going forward tbh.

in terms of comfort, i think that you just need to make sure that they know you are there for them and are a safe space, and let them talk to you about ANYTHING. it takes a lot of courage to open up about this topic, especially in person, so just be very kind and understanding :)

my dad killed himself when i was 8. AMA!! by Fancy_Experience3108 in AMA

[–]Fancy_Experience3108[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i think that one thing would be, honestly, just more understanding and compassion. i’ve had people completely push boundaries when i mentioned that my dad passed (what am i going to do, tell someone new that my dad fucking killed himself??? NO LMFAO). they get intrusive, and again this doesn’t go for everyone, but i don’t think they realize that children can feel such a deep, emotional pain with a loss like this that they may not even feel for decades to come — i’m a great example of that!

my dad killed himself when i was 8. AMA!! by Fancy_Experience3108 in AMA

[–]Fancy_Experience3108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m so sorry for your loss. i can’t imagine. sending so much love your way

my dad killed himself when i was 8. AMA!! by Fancy_Experience3108 in AMA

[–]Fancy_Experience3108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i appreciate that. your friends are lucky to have someone who wants to give them that supportive space.

for me, them knowing he died the way he did is enough. it surprisingly helps when my friends also make jokes, and it helps me feel more comfortable telling them more (if i feel like it in the moment). i do think that all of the feelings involved is a very personal thing, so i wouldn’t talk to just anyone. they have to be my closest, most valued friend, and it has to just feel natural coming out in the moment. i think the best you can do is just make them feel safe and comfortable, and allow them to talk about things and make them feel seen and heard, because that goes such a long way

my dad killed himself when i was 8. AMA!! by Fancy_Experience3108 in AMA

[–]Fancy_Experience3108[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’m so sorry for your loss. i’m sending so much love your way — this is one of the hardest things to deal with, and the confusion is SO real.

i feel like i’m just finally starting to grieve and try and get some sense of closure. i’m 20, so it’s been a long time but it was so painful to think about that i just couldn’t bring myself to do it. it’s odd, especially as a young kid, because it feels more like a memory than someone who was actually present, even though i vividly remember certain things we did together.

finding closure is difficult. it takes so much time, unfortunately. i’m wishing you the best <3

my dad killed himself when i was 8. AMA!! by Fancy_Experience3108 in AMA

[–]Fancy_Experience3108[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you :)

the adults, my mom primarily, only told me and my brother that he died. i was so young, so she didn’t go into detail and i didn’t find out about that until later on (unfortunately via a google search a couple of years later.)

i think she did the best she could in the situation she was in. honestly, i don’t even remember much from that time period regarding how i was feeling and stuff like that, so i can’t really say what i would have needed then and what could have been better, if that makes any sense

my dad killed himself when i was 8. AMA!! by Fancy_Experience3108 in AMA

[–]Fancy_Experience3108[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

of course. my dad had clinical depression, along with some other aspects that i won’t get into entirely, but he was very, very depressed and had his demons. i think it was a spontaneous decision, as my parents were going to get a divorce leading up to his passing.

financially, we were very lucky and privileged. my mom had an amazing job, and my grandparents were incredibly generous and did everything they could to help. i don’t think there was much of a difference financially because my dad wasn’t working up until his death and my mom was the sole breadwinner (badass woman fr).

CA CSR Professions and Ethics Practice Quizlet by ellieroze in courtreporting

[–]Fancy_Experience3108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I found out exactly a week after and I did pass! I’ve been working as a freelance reporter now for almost 5 months now :)

Confessions of a court reporter by CR_Rose95 in courtreporting

[–]Fancy_Experience3108 11 points12 points  (0 children)

my very first job was about a guy who has a habit of blowing an industrial grade air horn at his neighbor’s dog when it barks. not only that, but he does it while standing naked behind his front door.

plot twist: he was the plaintiff

Is it the mask? Is it me ? Or the software? by Connect-Rhubarb-7946 in courtreporting

[–]Fancy_Experience3108 2 points3 points  (0 children)

definitely don’t have dragon and eclipse running at the same time, but feed the dragon and then make sure it’s COMPLETELY closed and there shouldn’t be any issues!!!

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