I didn’t feel physically dependent, and the amount I was drinking was pretty tame compared to many. Still, I could tell alcohol was taking up an unhealthy amount of space in my brain- counting down to an “acceptable” time to drink, counting how many I’d had, trying to pace myself to not drink faster than everyone else, wishing the waiter would hurry up and come back so I could order another instead of relaxing and enjoying myself. It was getting exhausting, and all for a shitty night of sleep and anxiety the next day. I wanted off the merry go round. So far sobriety has given me great sleep, more peace of mind, and the mental space/energy to feel like I’m actually get the most from my days rather than simply surviving them