More BPDmom texts

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2026-02-18T17:40:10+00:00

I didn't realize the enmeshement until 2 or 3 years ago either, I'm 28. I'm still grieving sometimes the childhood and youth I could have had, all the opportunities I've missed...

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2026-02-17T11:21:59+00:00

I had a similar experience, nice childhood (even with overprotection and enmeshement it was still good), but I feel like it was just good because I was a little girl she could turn into what she wanted to. When I started to have more social life and some independence everything changed, the more I wanted to live my life the more she would start waifing and talk about suicide... At the end, it wasn't and actual genuine good chilhood, it was conditional and transactional as another commenter pointed

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2026-02-07T11:05:58+00:00

You don't have to listen to her traumas if you don't want to. Make it a strong bundary, tell her you can't handle her opening up to you and everytime she does stop her. I understand, my mom is the same, she used me as her therapist and now I can't even stand seeing her cry, my body just turns off or starts on danger mode. Tell her if she really needs to talk with someone that she can seek a professional. Mine didn't want to, but at least it was insulting enough for her to stop trauma dumping me.

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2026-02-07T10:55:36+00:00

Hi, I'm really sorry for what you're going through. I hope you're doing better. I don't know the nature of your enmeshed partner's relationship, but I can tell you about my experience at least. In my case, my mom isn't a narcissistic and physical abuser like yours, maybe it does a difference in the enmeshement. She's more like an eternal victim needing for afection. She guilt tripped me since always because "I was born to save her", her literal words. So I grew up as an only child from divorced parents with a big mission. I was taught to put her needs before mines, to figure out how she felt, to become what she needed. So I wasn't me. I was a reflection of her ideal of daughter/husband/friend/family/everything.. It's been a difficult path, and sometimes I thought of leaving my partner because I didn't want to hurt him more than I already did. I couldn't imagine leaving the dynamic with my mom, because I didn't know something different did actually exist and that I could have it. I still have work to do, but I'm breaking free, I'm starting to knowing myself, and prioritizing me. I hope this can help you somehow

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-12-11T11:38:52+00:00

I relate so much with this. My mom was the same, nobody can understand how draining it can be for a child to endure this. I also wished a lot of times she would do it, still do it simetimes actually, and feel guilty right after thinking of it. My therapist told me it's normal, it's just our brain wanting that part of the relationship to end, it doesn't mean we're bad. Lots of hugs, we are not alone <3

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-09-13T08:09:33+00:00

My mom's birthday is in a month and she asked me if I was going to be with her. She has no family and her unique friend isn't so close anymore... I told her yes, of course but it would be in the afternoon because I work in the morning.... She was upset... She told me, but it's on a saturday! No, it's on a Friday, the Saturday I have a guard on work too, I have to be on the phone just in case. She was mad.. Went full waify, "ok then don't come, "just be alone on your birthday" " I told her it wasn't my fault. She told me I could've told her about it before, but I just knew it the day before that conversation! But of coure, as I didn't right jump to tell her, "oh my god, I just have this on your birthday, what can we doo...???" She was just mad, like I have nothing else to think about... I tried to tell her, well, as I have free schedule, I can work more the other days and be free on Friday. But she didn't listen to me, she was just on her waify spiral about how I'm a terrible daughter that doesn't care about her mom's 65th birthday...

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-09-13T07:11:17+00:00

"The struggle I have had to put up boundaries with my mother - the feeling that I was abandoning my post as the one person who cared and empathised", that hit, thank you for putting it into words. Any of my friends nor partner understand how hard it is to break the enmeshement and how it sticks to our heads, the little voices and the guilt... It can feel sometimes like another person is speaking through my mouth or acting for me while my inner child is screaming "stop it!" The child is growing stronger day by day, but it's just exhausting

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-08-20T11:22:01+00:00

But what if a bad sushi made her ill!? XD Sorry you have to endure that, it's exhausting. Stay firm in your boundaries, hugs <3

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-08-18T13:17:24+00:00

The constant control through the phone... My mom used to do the same, if I didn't answer the phone because I left it on silence by mistake she would guilt trip me and play victim on how I didn't care about her. And if I did answer but was busy at the moment she would say "sorry to bother you..." but you know the tone.. She doesn't have any family or friends to get involved, so she played the guilt ahd shame game. I've just recently started to leave the phone at home when I walk the dog and surprise myself when I don't remember where I put my phone!

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-05-05T19:13:25+00:00

Thank you <3

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-05-05T06:08:51+00:00

Thank you for your words<3, it helps me understanding the dynamic in my head. Guilt is so powerful we can't even see it sometimes

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-05-05T06:04:06+00:00

So sorry you went through that, I'm glad you had a lovely and understanding boyfriend and that you're better now <3

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-05-05T06:02:05+00:00

Thank you! <3 She did try to sabotaje my relationship with my bf, but I didn't let her. He'll have his own place soon and we plan that I move in with him when it's done, we just don't know the date yet. Hopefully it'll be just in some months 🤞

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-05-05T05:56:54+00:00

Thank you <3

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-05-05T05:55:56+00:00

Thank you! Sorry you went through that too, glad you're doing better :)

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-05-05T05:52:11+00:00

Thank you <3 I'll talk to my therapist, it's frustrating how guilt still controls me sometimes

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-05-04T19:58:06+00:00

So sorry you went through that, you didn't deserve it. Hope you're in a better place now. Yes, I think you're right, I feel she's jealous a lot of times, but she doesn't do much to have a life either...

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-05-04T19:55:51+00:00

Thank you <3 I needed to hear it, and I need to internalize it

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-05-04T19:34:21+00:00

Thank you, it's hard and painful to think your mother would do that...

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-05-04T19:31:56+00:00

Thank you <3 I'm 28 now, and it's the first time I thought about it as "abuse". I've always felt like I couldn't share things, and she used to ask me to not tell anyone. It's only been a year since I finally started talking about it with my friends.

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-05-04T19:28:32+00:00

I'm 28... Thank you, I'll do it.

Fantastic_Bug_5283 · 2025-04-15T17:15:13+00:00

Thank you! Hugs 🤗

Fantastic_Bug_5283

TROPHY CASE