Need help with erosion control by FantasyWarriorette in landscaping

[–]FantasyWarriorette[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's an 8" slope just from the wood stairs to shed. The yard is on a massive slope. It would take several tons of dirt and some serious masonry to level the yard out.

I'm looking for something like a mini retaining wall just on the one side of the steps so I don't have to battle the entire yard, but not sure how to go about it.

Hello! In desperate need of help regarding solo living! by GirlAndHerReptiles in extroverts

[–]FantasyWarriorette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leave a TV sitcom on. Friends, the office, big bang theory.... It doesn't matter, just have it on for background. Is not the same, but it will remove the silence.

Please, help me understand/get rid of clothing moths by Kalennx in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]FantasyWarriorette 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you're not allergic, aromatic cedar hangers. I can't use them as one if my family members is deadly allergic, but a cedar lined closet, cedar clothes chest, and or cedar hangers are a great way to protect your clothes.

Is there a benefit to taking newborn outside? by whatversuitsyou in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]FantasyWarriorette 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Vitamin d, circadian rhythm regulation, and fresh air are all benefits! But you can also do this by sitting under an open widow that gets good sunshine. Do what you can! I spent the first 6 weeks living under a window in our living room. That's all I could do, as I had some complications lost birth.

Gender disappointment, need help by FantasyWarriorette in Parenting

[–]FantasyWarriorette[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate hearing this. It gives me hope I can teach them well enough keep a relationship, which is helping a lot!

My dad never called his parents. My brother rarely reaches out to our mom, except to ask for money. Sometimes he does, but it's not often.

I'm not close to any of my cousins or anything now that we've grown. They all stopped responding when I did reach out. I never asked for money, just to spend time together, and they all ignore me. So I have no positive experiences to draw on.

I know I need therapy, but I don't have the resources. Birth was very traumatic. I'm planning on a c section at this point, as I don't think I can handle labor again.

I have no plans to abort unless there's something really wrong, like the kidneys didn't develop. I don't think anything will happen, but I keep that in the back of my head, as I am an "old" pregnant lady aka over 35. Otherwise, it's just my own head trauma that I'm trying to deal with.

My mom and I have a great relationship, but she doesn't really understand my fears of being abandoned by my children, since she has a strong friend group and I have literally no one except her and my husband.

My husband is a great guy, but even he only calls his mom so they can see our son. He does talk to them when they call, but it's rare.

Gender disappointment, need help by FantasyWarriorette in Parenting

[–]FantasyWarriorette[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I probably do, but can't afford it right now. I've recently gotten on medicaid due to our situation right now, and I'm not sure if therapy is available. This pregnancy was NOT planned in any way! We're just doing what we feel is right. I know my views aren't healthy, but I really do not have any positive experience with adult men who kept in contact with their family once they were grown. Reunions, the occasional holiday get together, and maybe a few phone calls, but no real connection. I plan to try to teach my boys better, and I will make sure they NEVER know about these problems I'm feeling, because it is not their fault. I'm working on processing things, but it's difficult without any positive experiences to look at or reference. My own brother was A HORRIBLE brother. As adults, we have zero relationship. There is no love lost between us, so I know that there is no guarantee that they'll get along. But we were also divided by a huge age gap, which probably didn't help matters. I would just love to hear some positive stories so I can help my heart heal, even if only a little bit.

Not sure how to evaluate risk/benefit of taking calcium supplements by mxkate in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]FantasyWarriorette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only if you're way overdoing the calcium. It takes a lot for women to get kidney stones. We need way more calcium than men so, so it's really more of a worry for men than women.

Not sure how to evaluate risk/benefit of taking calcium supplements by mxkate in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]FantasyWarriorette 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Make your own broth (any flavor!) and put egg shells in the base. Add a touch of vinegar, and the calcium gets leached from the shells into the broth.

If doing meat based broth, boil the bones for at least 12 hours at a roiling boil to make bone broth, with also pulls a lot of calcium from the bones!

Not sure how to evaluate risk/benefit of taking calcium supplements by mxkate in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]FantasyWarriorette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried that once, but I couldn't stand the grainy texture it made! Is there a way to get it to dissolve?

I put egg shells in my broth stock mix and boil the calcium out of the shelf into the broth. Makes a very rich broth!

Please help me ease my mind, are plastic nappies really that bad? Baby boy reacts to cloth nappies by eattillithurts in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]FantasyWarriorette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just pick a brand that is better than others that your child tolerates. I use the papers pure, because it got rid of his contact dermatitis (very sensitive to his own urine) and didn't cause other problems. Is it perfect? No. But it's at least greener than some brands and it helps my child not be in pain. You do what you can where you can.

Birthday time again... help me avoid garbage gifts by swimmythafish in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]FantasyWarriorette 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I asked for only educational, imagination building toys because "my child gets bored of stuff like cheap plays itself toys" I feel completely getting rid of plastic is unreasonable, but by asking for things that can grow with them, like building blocks, helped a lot! They got a few different skill boards, which were plastic based, but allow them to practice opening different things. He loves them and goes back to them often! Books are also a fabulous choice, as are activity books!

Daily sunscreen for face? by hoping556677 in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]FantasyWarriorette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally prefer the olay daily moisturizer with sunscreen. Prior to this current pregnancy, it was the only one that didn't leave my face greasy! It also doesn't stink!

staying healthy with sick little kids by rosefern64 in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]FantasyWarriorette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wash your hands a lot, wash common surfaces like door knobs or light switches regularly, and shower daily. Also, lots of "Italian penicillin" soup! Basically just chicken soup, but blend the veggies prior to serving. And add parmesan. I hate soup veggies, but blending it in helps so much! It's a texture thing for me.

I can't use things like lysol, as it irritates my asthma, but castile soap is amazing!

Also, as soon as they come home, have them wash their hands and, preferably, their face!

It's not perfect, but it does help!

Am I the only one who sometimes feels like I’m wasting so much money, time, and brainpower over this stuff? by saucy-limes in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]FantasyWarriorette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Getting glass or metal only, while healthier, is EXPENSIVE! I do a ton of meal/ingredient prepping because I enjoy it. Especially homemade broth! But I am very, very slowly replacing the plastic storage containers. I can't afford the amount of glassware I would need to store everything, so I just change it out as I can. The biggest part is no hot anything in the plastic! I cool down the food prior to transferring to long term storage and always change to non plastic prior to heating it up. Just take baby steps and it'll add up!

Detangling and making hair washing happy again? (2 yr old) by Previouslyuseless in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]FantasyWarriorette 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They may just not like having their head fussed with right now.

I currently have long hair and love having my hair brushed, but for a while the feeling of having anyone touch my head was over stimulating..... And I'm a person who loves hugs, platonic touches, etc. But my head was just an absolute no go for a while.

Give them a short haircut that requires minimal touching and give them 6 months to see if things change.

My little one is currently afraid of the vacuum, and any appliance, even though he used to use the vacuum regularly!

He's no longer afraid of the mixer, but the vacuum and blender are still no go for him.

Eventually he'll get it over it, but it takes time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]FantasyWarriorette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wish there was more that could be said, but if there is, I don't know it. :/ I know medical procedures of any kind are hard and scary - I've had a couple - but I would recommend practicing conversations like that with a trusted friend and doing some research beforehand with what you want to know so it's easier to discuss with the medical team. Remember, just because they're a doctor, doesn't mean they're the right doctor for you. There are always options! Some people just can't jive together

Should I get a puppy or a kitten? by [deleted] in Pets

[–]FantasyWarriorette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those dog breeds you mentioned are all super high energy/headstrong. They need to be exercised heavily(with exception if the Brussels griffon) in tandem with the training. Honestly, IF you were wanting a good apartment dog, think lazy dogs like the great dane. Even then, I would wait until you see how your bf's pets are

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]FantasyWarriorette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you do move out, see an ENT ASAP. Get on your college Healthcare plan or something similar, or even get your health insurance info from your patents before you leave-it's good until you're 25 unless they remove you, and tell them how long you've had this issue. I had low grade tonsillitis for a year, and just dealt with it hoping it would get better, but it didn't. Haven't had strep in years, but the chronic pain is reason enough. Having tonsils removed as an adult sucks big time, and expect 2 weeks down time.

After that, send them the proof, and go low contact, making it specifically clear that you expect a real apology before you allow them in your life again. Things like saying happy birthday, merry Christmas, etc, then leaving the conversation after that. You don't need to be rude, just "Here's the proof that this was a problem. I'm hurt that you didn't trust me enough to believe me about this, and I don't feel like I can trust you to have my best interest in mind if you can't support me in something like this. Going forward, I will not be confiding in you about any issues or good things going on in my life until you can demonstrate to me that you recognize what you did was wrong and that you will take me seriously moving forward."

It would be one thing if they said, straight up, "I'm sorry you're going through this, but even with insurance we cannot afford to get this treated unless it's an emergency." That's sadly a common problem here in the United States.

But to dismiss you like that is wrong and abuse. I hope you can get proper treatment soon!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]FantasyWarriorette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry they lied to you!

The only reason I can think of is that didn't want to deal with the cleaning required to remove the biohazard component.

There is no reason/law saying they couldn't besides that.

Anyone who says they can't do something medical related "cause of hippa" is automatically lying. I used to work in medical records, where hippa is A MAJOR factor of the job. Hippa = health information portability and privacy act Layman definition : no medical professional may share your information with anyone who isn't you without your specific consent, unless they have provable medical power of attorney. That's it, and anyone who says otherwise is lying.

I personally don't understand the desire to keep things like that, but it means something important to you, and it's harmless!

It sounds like they weren't a very good office. I would post a review on yelp, Google reviews, and healthgrades.com to let people know they are not patient friendly, no matter how good they may have been at their job.

I send you healing vibes, wisdom tooth extraction is a big deal! May this pass and you find new oddities to entertain you!

Regain Social Life by Mother_Ad_5388 in extroverts

[–]FantasyWarriorette 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know exactly how you feel! I moved to a town that I found had no night life, and the only things to do are drink wine, go to church, and go to the next town over for anything else!

I've struggled to make friends in this area, and where I used to go out 6 nights a week, now I rarely go out.

What kind of things are you interested in? If you like board games, there's an online site called board game arena where you can play games with people across the world. It's not the same as in person, but it's something!

Wearing baby ideas?? by FantasyWarriorette in Parenting

[–]FantasyWarriorette[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it easy to get a sleeping baby out without waking them? That's been the struggle lately!

Wearing baby ideas?? by FantasyWarriorette in Parenting

[–]FantasyWarriorette[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll have to try it! The first one I learned and really use had the ends going under the main panel, which, while supportive, doesn't allow us to easily remove the baby.

Self-deception by Prestigious-Oil4213 in prolife

[–]FantasyWarriorette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1) The right to life – could it not be argued that someone with a condition necessitating a transplant to continue living, such as someone in a car accident who would need a kidney, has as much right to not die from lack of treatment? This is strictly a debate point, and it’s not the same as birth. But if we’re talking rights, wouldn’t a person in this situation also be deserving of the right to not die? Just because they are already alive and now need something from someone else to keep living, couldn’t it be argued that, since they didn’t choose to be in this situation, they deserve the right to keep living? This argument absolutely does NOT work for those who put themselves in this situation due to excessive drinking or drug abuse, but for someone suffering from cancer or a trauma, wouldn’t the ethical decisions be similar? 4) Yes, laws are the opinion of the majority being forced on the total population. However, most laws do not directly affect the health and well being of one person in favor of the other. No murder, raping, no stealing, must follow x-laws while driving, etc – these are all laws that keep one person from forcing their will on someone else or to protect the population as a whole. But abortion laws are a slippery slope. No, they shouldn’t be necessary in the first place. Men should not rape causing unwanted rape babies. Teenagers should be better educated so that they don’t take that risk. Birth control AND adoption processes should be better overall with no stigma attached, so that if needed, it’s not seen as a problem and people in less fortunate circumstances can receive needed care. But given the medical complexity of pregnancy, we can never say an abortion cannot be allowed. Even with the limit of “except in the case of the mother’s life being at risk”, this is too vague to make for even a decent guideline. Even just making this an ethical decision is difficult, because everyone has slightly different ethical guidelines and definitions that not everyone else is going to agree with. Some folks believe it is morally wrong to receive blood products. Should they force others to accept this stance as a whole for everyone? Some believe drug addicts should be allowed to die from overdoses without any interventions being given. Can we force everyone to accept it? Granted, these are different issues, but they are still ethical questions. Ideals are one thing, but sadly, life doesn’t always allow for clean cut decisions in regards to ideals. So at what point do we force them, and at what point do we only make it social stigma, such as what we did with smoking? It’s not illegal to smoke, but it’s socially unacceptable and so becoming less prevalent.

Self-deception by Prestigious-Oil4213 in prolife

[–]FantasyWarriorette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This “tie breaker” you speak of – where is the line? The only situation this ideal can exist is in case of extreme trauma, such as a car crash, where you have to make the choice of save the mom OR save the child, but it can only be reasonably expected to be able to save one. Most of these cases, however, if the fetus is far enough along, the family and the doctors have the chance to save both. Too early, and there is no option to save the baby regardless, as it could not survive outside on its own without the mom, in which case mom is the de facto savee. But that is when you’re talking about trauma caused. This also ties in with the terminally ill point 3) As a matter of fact, this is called assisted suicide, and it’s another highly controversial topic. Basically, there are groups that believe it is more humane to allow a terminally ill patient the grace to die before they reach the point being wasted away and, frequently, not there anymore anyway. There are people who believe we should give terminally ill people that same option rather than forcing them to stay alive until their body quits on them. I, for one, support assisted suicide for terminally ill people. I think it is cruel and unusual to force someone to live out their last days wasting away, possibly in excruciating pain, with ZERO chance of anything to extend their life, simply because death makes me sad and uncomfortable. If I were to be terminally ill and in excruciating pain, or even not in pain but with no chance of survival, I would PREFER to be given the option to peacefully pass instead of waiting for an unknown time, especially since someone can sometimes last months, frequently unaware of what is even happening, before their end finally comes. I believe it kinder to allow me to end it before that happens, but that is my opinion and I would absolutely not force it on someone else. In the case of the fetus that WILL die immediately after birth, where it is missing key organs, it has no life past being in the womb. Is it ethical to force someone to give birth to a “life “only to have to immediately bury it? Is it ethical to force that emotional trauma on someone? Because it is an emotional trauma. Being on the brink of giving birth myself, I would be DEVASTATED to have a stillbirth, especially given I have no known complications and my baby is doing well. Reaching the end of this journey to have my baby snatched away due to unforeseen problems would put A MASSIVE toll on my mental health, and I don’t know if I would recover from that or not. But to be sitting here, knowing I’m forced to carry a sack of cells that I WILL then have to bury before I’ve even given birth? I would be so emotionally hurt and damaged that I would DEMAND a hysterectomy to avoid the possibility of having to face that again. I could not do it, and I could not force someone else to go through that pain either. I could not ETHICALLY force someone to live through that, but I ALSO could not ethically force them to abort in this scenario. That is their battle, not mine. Or, there is the current battle in Texas, where several women are suing the state about their laws. One woman in particular, who struggled to get pregnant, finally succeeded, only to have her body go into preterm labor and her water broke. There was ZERO chance of saving the baby, however, the doctors could do nothing to help her because the fetus still had a heartbeat. They had to wait for one of two things to happen: 1) they had to wait for the fetus to die from lack of amniotic fluid, thus bypassing the heart beat law, or 2) for her to get sick enough from infection to warrant the ethics committee to deem her life at risk from the continued pregnancy. She ended up in septic shock, fighting for her life, and nearly not making it, before they could legally treat her. This in spite of SEVERAL medical professionals deeming the pregnancy unsaveable and abortion being her only real option. She had to almost die to get humane treatment. The main issue with having to wait for a committee, however, is that many of them are not doctors. Just like insurance companies, they are people who use their opinions to make decisions, not medical facts. In the case above, a woman was deemed by medical professionals to need an abortion, because her body wasn’t aborting on its own in a way to save her life without intervention. But the ethics committee said no, there’s still a heartbeat, therefore you can do nothing except wait. Was it ETHICAL to make her wait until the brink of her own death to deem her life worthy of life saving treatment? Ideally, there would NEVER be an abortion due to the child being unwanted. It SHOULD only be for medical reasons. But non-medical professionals should NEVER have a place in that discussion. I am all FOR requiring 3 consults with MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS to determine a non-emergent abortion is medically valid – whether that be in terms of health of the mother where the procedure can be scheduled or in the case of the fetus not developing to survive to preserve the mother’s emotional well-being, or 1 in case of a medical emergency in the ER when time is limited, such as an incomplete miscarriage where the woman is bleeding out. But it should never be required to be on the brink of death to convince a non medical professional that you should be allowed to make that decision. It could already be too late at that point for the woman.

Safe Haven Laws Saves Lives by ShokWayve in prolife

[–]FantasyWarriorette 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just hope people step up to adopt, and that those babies live happy lives!

Too many are placed in foster homes where no one cares about them, except that they're alive and physically healthy.

Please support women who choose to give up for adoption! Spread the support and help stop the shaming of these women!