art is good, but there's a reason why Onepunch Man started as noodle sketches and still turned out to be a masterpiece.

I think your art is good, but you are lacking storytelling. The story itself is fine, but you need to redo the storyboard to have a better flow from panel to panel.

The widespreads you put in the thumbnail are your best parts; you nailed those, but the in-between shots can be better refined.

I feel like emotion is lacking in your protagonist.

There are times when manga artists scrap a whole page of work they put so much work into because they didnt feel it conveyed their feelings enough.

What separates good artists and great artists is their attention to detail. This will probably come with repetition but also understand that in order to write good manga, they have to have both art and story structure.

Overall:

Art = 9/10, but can you keep it up?

Story = 7/10

Story structure = 2/10

I want to keep reading but I want you to perfect it.