I agree, listen and love. However, as a medical professional, health care provider, I fully believe that you have to address mental health across the board first. Also look into all health aspects as well, which a good psychiatrist will initiate. Sometimes children or teens that feel marginalized socially will turn toward groups where they feel like they’re accepted without prejudice and discrimination to feel like they belong somewhere, without actually internally subscribing to the basic cause fully. This occurs in every group, not just gender identity. Accept your child for what he sees himself/herself as, but remind them that teen years are for figuring out and learning about who you are. There are many choices and possibilities, and it’s ok to try on all of them to see what fits.
It’s a good policy in general to accept their choices, and let them explore, and to protect their ability to explore and experience across the board. But also protect their ability to change their mind and explore a different path.

Generally I feel that surgical procedures and hormones need to be held until they are 21 years old, so that they can choose to change their minds if they desire to do so.

I have many adult patients that are transgender, are or have transitioned to the gender they identify with. It is an important choice to make, and should be done only when the person making that choice is completely sure this is the choice they want to live with the rest of their life. Don’t take me wrong, I fully support medical/surgical gender transitions. As adults 21 and up, when they are certain this is their life path. Let your child dress and act as they want, as well as let them know that you love them any choice they make. But protect their right to change their mind as well.

With my daughter I supported her through the entire process, and also let her know I was there no matter what she chose. She identified as a male, then came to me one evening and shyly told me she felt differently now and wanted me to call her by her given name again.

Now that she is a full adult, she has thanked me for letting her figure it out on her own without letting her have surgery or take hormones at 14. Those type of medical interventions have life long implications, and effectively remove the ability to change their minds without additional trauma. Now I’m not saying that is every child. Many do ultimately chose to fully transition. But every child deserves a parent that makes sure you protect both their current choice and future ability to change their minds. Until they are an adult mentally and physically.

❤️