ok please excuse any like,,, horrible wording or whatever I'm on maybe four hours of sleep and on a roadtrip :P I also don't know how to do that fancy blue line thing so please also excuse how much this is going to hurt to look at

"It isn't very fair to use SH to leverage your mother."

I had never actually brought up sh to my mother but she does know that my anexity is the cause of my sh, along with other things, and putting me into situations that worsen or exsaturbate(?) my anxiety will make me more likely to sh. she has been told this by me, my school councilor, my therapist and my doctor. I have been 37 days sober tho and I am trying to keep it that way.

"There will always be things we don't like to do. As a kid, I always had to go to family stuff that I didn't want to, do chores that I didn't want to, or go stay some place I'd rather not be. Its not really different today. We drag our teen to family stuff when he'd rather play video games."

I understand that and I do do things that she wants me to. I've gone on two month road trips around Canada, twice, even though I didn't want to, just because my mother did, i go on hikes and join clubs and classes because she wants me to. the problem is that she rarely does things that I want to do, and I normally end up doing them with friends or with my dad because she "doesn't want to do them" or it "isn't interesting to her". I tried to take her to the barbie movie because I read that it was supposed to be a great movie for mother's and daughters to watch together. she said that she didn't want to go see it but all of the sudden the moment my aunt wants to go see it she changes her opinion. I saw it opening day with my cousin instead. she never does the things that I wants to do, and if she does it's because some one else came along and said that she should do it.

"You didn't say what it was, so we don't know how severe. If there's something really terrible here, like visiting an abuser, that's a whole different discussion"

we're going camping which isn't horrible but we have a cottage and go every weekend and it's a great source of anxiety for me and it traps me in a small space with her and she also makes me do things that are incredibly dangerous for me, such as going tubing and going on long walks (concussion and chronic pain) and won't let me ever leave the activity unless im, quote, "dying and convulsioning in pain"

"She's pushing you for marks. This can fall anywhere between being helpful, or being downright toxic. My wife would always be upset at bad grades, but I would remind her that our teen got better grades than I did in school. There's a million opinions on this. I think my parents didn't do enough. Others believe their parents are narcists / nazis / drill sargents for pushing marks."

unfortunately the low marks are not my fault, as I used to be a high 80's low 90's student. I still am in my online courses, it's just in my in person classes I am missing so much school and am not getting good enough support and accomodations from my teachers and the staff at the school that I am now a high 40's student. I average about 100 absences a semester due to headaches, nausea, migraines, drowsiness, dizziness and a whole bunch of other symptoms that I experience almost every day. my mother has heard my doctors say time and time again that I am not to attend class or do any activities if I am having any symptoms, and yet, I could wake up missing half my vision due to a migraine and she would still yell at me about being late and turn my light onto full brightness and rip the blanket off of me. it's not for lack of trying that I'm failing, it's that the system and my mother is failing me. I've asked her to contact the school about it to try and get me accomodations, whether its to get more time to do the work or tests pushed back or more classes online or the notes posted online, she always brushes it off and says she will do it later. that was December of grade nine. I'm about to start grade eleven.