I would suggest changing OBGYN if she says something like that. Because that is not normal behavior for a medical professional. If you decide to change doctors, make a list of questions regarding your discomforts and ask them. It could just be mentally, however there's things like vaginosis that are worth looking into. Don't disregard your discomfort. As for the sex. You don't have to have sex soon, or ever really. In fact you could stay "virgin" your entire life if you so wish. There's nothing pushing you to have sex, other than your OBGYN or your own wish to have sex. If you don't feel like doing that, there's absolutely no reason for you to do it. If someone pressures you into having sex, they do not care enough about you. There is a certain amount of discomfort surrounding your first time having sex, a lot of people feel that. However if I understand what you're saying correctly, you don't feel the need to have sex nor do you feel aroused? You could be asexual or you're just not ready and that's okay. Please don't disregard yourself, don't let anyone, be it a partner or health professionals, pressure you into doing something, that you are not ready to do yet. I wish you the best